JournalSmarter

2022-10-27T00:00:00+00:00

I read a very powerful chapter of “Flow” yesterday, which included the following quote:

“The foremost reason that happiness is so hard to achieve is that the universe was not designed with the comfort of human beings in mind.”

POW.

How does one deal with that?

Well… I am only at the beginning of the book, so I can’t tell what Mihaly’s answer is, but what I am sensing is something along the lines of:

Creating happiness by being in the present and enjoying it.

With perhaps a worthwhile comment that the enjoyment of the present comes from within.

This is both incredibly empowering and challenging. It is all up to me. I make my own happiness and it is happening right here, right now. The pursuits of “better future” are worthwhile but futile if I am not making the present count. No. More. Waiting. The question is how can I find joy in what is unfolding right now, and, wonderfully, I am finding joy in connecting with myself through writing. My journal is a trusted friend, or, more accurately:

My journal is a space. A container, which can be designed as required to support me in whatever way I choose to. I make it what it is. A game… An Infinite game that is oh-so-worth playing.

Every page is a new space. Another container. An invitation to create ANYTHING I choose. It reflects my state of Being in this very moment. What I write is irrelevant, or, to be more precise, not the point at all. It’s simply a byproduct of the precious moment of embodied presence and connection with myself. A moment when I become the Creator simply by engaging with paper without any constraints. I can write, draw, or fold the page into an origami swan - whatever makes me happy. I create my own happiness, and my journal is just a deceptively simple way to get to the state of Creation.

New Moon Journaling

2022-03-30T00:00:00+00:00

How To Use Journaling to Realign in the Beginning of a New Cycle.

Tell me more about the Moon cycles.

In the last few years, I keep aligning more parts of my life with the Natural cycles. The Gregorian Calendar is a nice, widespread, and certainly useful story, but still - just a story. In other words, if we ditch our agreement that it’s March (or whatever other, month, year or day), the whole story will simply stop existing. On the other hand, planetary cycles won’t stop, even if the Highest Court issues an order to cease their activities within 14 days or face prosecution.

But I digress.

In astronomy, the New Moon is the first lunar phase and a moment of cosmic alignment when the Moon positions itself in between the Earth and the Sun, allowing us to see only it’s shadow side.

Symbolically, The New Moon is the time of new beginnings. You can surely recreate the fresh start effect on any other day that’s meaningful to you, but perhaps there’s no need to reinvent the wheel. The Moon played a significant role in shaping the perception of time flow in different cultures spread around the globe for centuries. And it’s certainly a cycle that resonates for me.

During a recent Relational Weekly Review (a co-journaling session that I’m hosting) I was asked to share more about the Moon Cycles, and how I use them in my life (and my journal). Here’s the long answer.

Why Moon Cycles?

I find it pretty much impossible to make effective long term plans.

That’s partially because I struggle with getting distracted with exciting things to do, but also because I have learned over the years that the Greek saying I’ve heard during one of my travels is very true:

“When humans make plans, gods laugh.”

Sudden emergencies aside, the whole point of self-development is to change, hopefully in a positive way. It follows, that what is relevant for me right now, might not be in a few months. That makes it incredibly hard to make any kind of long-term predictions. On the other hand, I did experience tremendous benefits from keeping a long-lasting commitment, such as 235 consecutive days of 1-hour yoga or 60-days of eating raw food only.

How to navigate this tension?

Instead of making plans, I set intentions, and shorten the time horizon by aligning them with the Moon cycles.

Etymologically speaking, intention can be traced back to Old French word intendre meaning “to direct one’s attention” and Old English entencioun meaning “purpose, design, aim or object; will, wish, desire, that which is intended”. That sounds much better to me that “to scheme, to devise ways and means for (the doing of something)” that planning originates from. In other words, intention is about bringing attention to what is important to you, rather than thinking of how to go about it.

The Moon completes the formula by providing a perfect time horizon of 29 ½ days (on average), which feels both short enough to be encouraging (rather than overwhelming), and long enough to allow for tangible results to become visible. And it’s always possible to roll an intention over to the following cycle, if it still fully resonates.

Here’s how I turn all this from theory into practice.

New Moon Journaling

I stay aware of the Moon cycle by actually looking at the Moon every night 🌓..

I’m happily living in the middle of a forest with zero light pollution so that’s not a difficult task, but the Moon is strong enough to cut through even the brightest cityscapes. Trust me, it will do you good to spend some time looking at Her every night.

I also use this app, which displays the current moon phase as a widget on my phone’s wallpaper.

I also created a “manual” Lunar Calendar, which is now hanging in a central part of my tiny house:

My journal is another reminder.

Every New Moon I draw a page of Infinity Squares which will last until the Full Moon, and then on the Full Moon I draw another page, which will last until the New Moon. So two pages of squares per Moon cycle.

I then use the blank page in the spread to write down the intention(s) for that part of the cycle.

Here’s how my November 2021 New Moon spread looks like:

Infinity Squares (empty at the beginning of the cycle) on the left, and intention page on the right.

The intention page is a conclusion of a New Moon Ceremony.

What I do changes every time. Ideally, I love taking some time for a proper ritual. Light a fire, create a magical space, meditate, draw a tarot card, or do whatever I feel like that would help me realign and make it feel like a special moment. That’s the power of ritual: it doesn’t really matter what you do, as long as you do it with intention of making it a ritual. The result is that when I arrive to the moment of setting intentions I feel deeply grounded and connected with myself, so I can choose my intentions wisely.

There are days however, when I don’t have the time or energy to take a lot of time for a proper ceremony. In that case, I simply draw the squares and either write whatever feels right in the moment or wait for the morning after.

Now, for all of you perfectionists (or recovering perfectionist) out there, here’s my “pro tip”, which I wish someone would have told me a long time ago, although my perfectionist past self probably wouldn’t listen to it anyway… I wish it did though:

If throughout the Moon cycle you realise that some (or all) of your intention page doesn’t resonate with you, then hereby I give you my permission (which you don’t need anyway) to cross out whatever you don’t like and make corrections.

Yes, I know that it will make your special page look imperfect (the horror!), but let me be frank (and nsfw): fuck perfectionism. It’s almost as paralyzing as fear.

The purpose of the intention page is to reconnect you to yourself and what matters deeply to you, and not to look pretty on insta. Reconnecting is a constant process, and, in fact, a moment of realisation that something you have written doesn’t resonate is a precious insight that could be celebrated rather than repressed.

Cross it out. Make corrections. Realign. It’s not only “fine” – it’s wonderful.

To give you some encouragement, I’ll show you two examples from my journal. During the Moon cycle below, I realised that the some words don’t resonate with me, so I shamelessly crossed them out and replaced with others.

On the spread below, I’ve been putting a lot of energy every day to making my squares look like a work of art. And then, as the New Moon was approaching, I realised that this particular cycle was one day longer and I’m missing a square. Instead of ripping my hair out in despair, I just drew the missing square on my intention page. It really doesn’t matter that it isn’t “perfect”.

Cross it out. Start again. Don’t care. It’s fine.

How to Use The Intention Page

Every evening I open my journal to fill my Infinity Square. It’s my daily self-connecting ritual, which I haven’t skipped for over 1400 days (because it’s a lot of fun and so easy that I have no excuse not to do it). This is not only the perfect gateway into my journal, but also it brings me back to the intention page every day, which is a perfect opportunity to reconnect with what I want to direct my attention towards.

As I see the squares filling up, I’m constantly aware of the flow of time. This puts a bit of positive pressure on me – am I embodying my intention or is it just written there? The point is not to punish myself for not doing enough, but to pause and honestly check-in with myself: is there something I can do to bring more attention to my intentions? Why are they important to me?

Occasionally, I change something on the page, or cross something out (remember the pro tip). It’s my journal and I can do whatever I feel like with it.

Additional Practices

I also have two extra digital journaling practices that are aligned with the Moon.

The Moonly Review, which is a personal heartfelt letter sent on the New Moon and Full Moon, where I write about what’s alive in me right now. I’ve started writing it in December 2020 as an experiment, and the practice is still with me.

I also create a Moonly Video Diary, compiling a few seconds of video from every day into a Moonly video. I’ve started this practice back in 2017, stopped after 3 times, and then came back to it in 2021. I have a feeling that this time it will stick for a while. Let’s see 👁.

Ready to Align 🌑🌕?

I invite you to draw your Infinity Squares.

🌱

Gratitude Mandala

2022-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

Gratitude Mandala is a journaling game for one player, with the goal of tuning into loving-kindness and expressing gratitude to your most important people.

Gratitude Mandala is a part of my yearly review process since 2019, however you can engage in it at any point. Simply adjust the timeframe and the guiding questions.

Of course, you don’t really need a mandala. You can make a simple list instead. With that in mind, drawing a mandala is a wonderful meditative drawing practice and it always brings me into a more connected state.

If you never drew a mandala before, Silvia wrote this instructions that you might find handy.

Prep:

Journal or piece of paper
compass (for drawing circles) - helpful for drawing the mandala, but not necessary

Note: if you’re conducting this game as a part of your yearly review, it’s quite likely that there are a lot of people you will be grateful for. It might be useful to first make a list.

Instructions:

Draw a mandala in your journal. Make sure to leave a lot of empty space.
(Optional, but recommended) Meditate for a few minutes. Think of the people / beings (eg. animals) that you’re the most grateful for in the timeframe you picked (eg. your year, or simply “right now”).
Write down the names of people / beings inside your mandala.

You can either end here, or proceed to the next step. It’s the most exciting one, but also demands more time and energy.

Write a letter / message to people inside your Gratitude Mandala. Of course, you don’t need to write to every single person individually. Pick the most important people and / or group people into relevant “categories” and write to multiple people at once.

Enjoy the heartfelt connections!

Note: I’m now reconnecting with my letter-writing practice, and I’ve decided to publish some of my gratitude letters from 2021 mandala. I’ll be adding them here.

Dream Nursery

2021-12-22T00:00:00+00:00

Dream Nursery is a journaling game for one player, with the goal of deliberately choosing dreams to “plant” in a nursery, and then watch them grow or not through a defined time horizon.

The time horizon can be adjusted to fit the player(s) context. For example, a player can create a poster-like page for during their yearly-review to serve for the entire year. On the opposite end of the spectrum, a player might set up a braindump-like page to relieve their heads from ideas, and then choose on one (or more) for immediate execution.

The game can also be played relationally, for example using simple format: checkin / game / sharing / checkout.

Prep:

pen and paper (or digital file)

Instructions:

Decide on the time horizon for your Dream Nursery
Play a quick mindful transition game (eg. meditative drawing)
Plant the seeds of the dreams you would like to see grow in your defined time horizon - write/draw them down.
Set a rhythm in which you’d like to nurture your dream seeds.

Note: Adapt instructions to fit your context.

This was my very first attempt at building a nursery for plants to germinate. It didn’t seem very stable, but it survived a winter storm and as far as I am aware is still standing strong on it’s feet, nurturing another generation of plants 🌱.

Why Journal?

2021-12-18T00:00:00+00:00

Over the last few months I’ve been experiencing an explosion of vitality, creativity and abundance. But everything in nature moves towards balance, so while I wasn’t looking forward to the change of energy, I knew it would have to happen, sooner or later.

And one day, without any notice, it did.

For the last few days, I felt very low on spirit. I kept observing myself binge on apples, chocolate, and neo-noir cinema. My work just wasn’t flowing. I didn’t feel particularly bad but just didn’t feel like doing anything.

Today is the first day that I woke up full of energy. I took some time to clean and organise my tiny house, which became a total mess, and took my thoughts for a long walk in the forest. It was all I needed.

As I was filling my daily Infinity Square, I felt a sudden spark of insight and drew this in my journal:

This was definitely not the first time that I went through this pattern.

Here’s what happens:

Something at work is not flowing, and I can’t let go of trying to “fix it”.
As I keep pushing through, my house becomes a disaster.
I can’t focus or reach clarity in a messy environment.
Without focus and clarity, I can’t fix the problem I’m working on.

The vicious cycle continues…

Until.

One day I break free.

I can distill it into three ideas:

1) Any pattern can be reversed.
2) Reversing a pattern starts with being aware.
3) Journaling makes me aware.

This is why I journal every single day.

Even if I’m feeling extremely low, I still open a page with squares for the current Moon Cycle and fill the one that represents my current day in any way I want to. It takes ten seconds, so I feel no resistance to do it. Over 14000 days I haven’t skipped a square.

But the magic doesn’t happen in the square only.

The square is a quick self-aligning ritual, an equivalent to a short meditation. As I reconnect with myself, even if it’s for a tiny moment, I might notice something, which might prompt me to take the next step: open my journal on the first available page and go deeper.

The square is a gateway into my journal.

My journal is a gateway into myself.

Opportunity Cost (Journaling Exercise)

2021-07-30T00:00:00+00:00

There’s a difficult decision ahead of you, and you’re not sure which path to take.

You’ve probably already considered the pros and cons of each alternative, but in this journaling exercise we’ll look at your decision through a different lens: opportunity cost. That’s because every choice has a hidden price: not benefiting from the alternative choices.

You can think about it as protecting space.

Every decision you make takes “space” (eg. your time, energy, money), leaving less space for other things in your life. Depending on the space required for a particular alternative, it might be more effective to say “no” just to protect the space for other more important things that can emerge.

In other words, by saying yes to an opportunity, you’re simultaneously saying “no” to alternative choices. And identifying the thing you would rather not miss out on can often be the best way to point you towards the right decision to make.

Exercise Instructions

The exercise takes around 15 minutes. All you need is a journal and a pen.

Note: You can also implement your subconscious processing to boost this exercise, by skipping the final step, and only engaging in it first thing in the morning on the following day (similar to the Most Important Question).

You can either journal along with the video I made for you (12m), or do it in your own time.

One important caveat: this exercise works best for considering a single option. If you’re torn between more options (eg. option A and B), then use the exercise for one of them, and if you don’t reach a conclusion by the end of the exercise you can run it again for another option.

Here’s how it works:

Moment of grounding (1m), to transition mindfully into the exercise (eg. 10 conscious breaths, or meditative drawing
Journal setup and stating the decision (1m)
Journal: If I choose this option, what am I missing out on?* (3m)
Journal: If I don’t choose this option, what am I missing out on?* (3m)
Journal: What does my heart really want?* (3m)
Journal: What is my decision? (optionally leave overnight and write first thing in the morning) (1m)

Here’s how you could set up your journal for this exercise:

You can then flip the page to write in each section, like this:

Note: this is just how I like to work with this exercise. Feel free to use any layout that works for you.

Guided Exercise Video

I’ve recorded a video where I’ll guide you through the process as you journal along.

Questions and Insights

Here are some things that came up for my in a recent decision I made:

While it seemed like a simple decision, it actually runs much deeper than I thought.
Thinking about what my heart really wants makes the decision quite clear to me, even if I wasn’t sure what to pick before the exercise.
Reflecting on what I would be missing out on helped me understand what are my priorities

If you’re curious how I’ll put these insights into action, you can get my Moonly Reviews.

And if you’d like to share your insights, I’d be delighted to hear from you!

Note: We also created a different template for the opportunity cost exercise (and 40 other journaling exercises) in this article.

Parting words

Opportunity cost is just another framework that might help you navigate the complexities of your life. While certainly useful, it won’t replace a regular review practice – a space where you identify the obstacles preventing you from unleashing your full potential, and commit to actions that will overcome these obstacles.

Your Ideal Life Trajectory (Journaling Exercise)

2021-07-18T00:00:00+00:00

You’re about to die.

Just before drawing your final breath, you get to see a film depicting the story of your life. As you go back down the memory lane, re-witnessing all the experiences that made you you, you realise that there is also a second film.

A film where you lived the life you really wanted to.

Your ideal life.

While nothing is ever perfect, the purpose of the journaling exercise I’m about to share with you, is to identify possible adjustments you could make to your life right now, that would bring you closer to living your ideal life.

We’ll begin by reflecting on your current life, then move to envisioning how your ideal life could look like (as you see it from the present), and finally, focus on where the real opportunity is: the space separating these two lives to reflect on how you could reduce the gap.

To make it easier, imagine your current and ideal life as two trajectories:

Remember:

The goal of this exercise is not necessarily to dramatically change your life. The key is to find adjustments (no matter how small) that you could actually make right now, to move closer to your ideal life.

Exercise Instructions

The exercise takes around 20 minutes. All you need is a journal, or a piece of paper.

You can either journal along with the guided video I made for you (see below), or follow the instructions on your own.

Here’s how it works:

Moment of grounding, to mindfully transition into the exercise eg. 10 conscious breaths or meditative drawing (1m).
Journal set up (optional, but recommended), see the image below (1m).
Journal: What is my current life trajectory? If I keep going, where am I likely to end up? (5m)
Journal: If I’d start living my ideal life today, what would my life look like? Where could this new trajectory take me? (7m)
Quickly read through your your two trajectories and underline anything that stands out (3m)
Journal: What adjustments (big or small) could I make to my current life to make it closer to my ideal life trajectory? (3m)

Here’s how you could setup your journal for the exercise:

You can then flip the page to write in each section, like this:

Note that this is just how I like to do this exercise. Feel free to use a layout that makes sense for you.

Guided Exercise Video

Here’s the video which will guide you through the process.

Questions and Insights

Here are some of the things that came up for me during this exercise:

What I thought is the main issue I’m dealing with at the moment, is actually not very relevant for my ideal life trajectory.
I have been neglecting my physical exercise for a while, but my awareness wasn’t really flagging it up. I can address this with some very simple tweaks to my routine.
There’s a thing I do, which I really dislike about myself, but I realised that I don’t understand why I see it as a negative thing to do. Is it just cultural, or actually something that makes sense?
I feel very good about my current trajectory in general. Everything is unfolding well, I just need to relax and keep on putting the energy into what is important for me.
I’m also much clearer on what is the next big thing I want to address. And it’s to find a way to live in a van / tiny house as soon as possible. I feel a strong call to spend most of my time in nature.
Making sailing my priority is definitely the way to go.

If you’re curious how I’ll put these insights into action, you can track my progress through my moonly review.

And if you’d like to share your insights, I’d be delighted to hear from you!

One (Big) Tip To Boost This Exercise

Whether you like it or not, everything, including your idea of what an ideal life is for you, is constantly changing.

That’s why, while it’s useful to do this exercise once, it’s definitely more effective to implement it into your regular review practice.

Have You Quit Your 2021 Resolutions Already?

2021-02-16T00:00:00+00:00

Here’s how I’m keeping mine, one step at a time.

This is the time of year when the excitement about New Year’s resolutions usually starts to fade away.

I recently wrote about why this year I am focusing on creating practices instead of setting goals: to avoid the pitfalls that make so many people quit.

One of my practices, the one I am focusing on for the first three months of the year, is to engage in daily activities that connect me to my body and to the present moment for a couple of hours.

I started really small: my first steps were to take ten conscious breaths and one sun salutation upon waking up every day. Since then, these have expanded into 45 minutes of meditation, a 15-minute strength and flexibility routine (often followed by a 20 minute run), daily dancing breaks, as well as regular walks and yoga sessions.

Not only have I not quit, but I am making progress every day and well on my way to establish a solid habit of being more present in my body.

In this article, I will explain the main principles and methods I am using to stay consistent.

What Comes After a Tiny Habit?

I was always skeptical about BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits methodology. That is, until I tried it.

Tiny Habits is the most effective method I have ever found to get started on a new habit and maintain it. I now apply the principle of starting super small every time I want to build a new habit or help my coaching clients build one.

However, I have always struggled with knowing when and how to scale up from there. What comes after the first tiny steps — the ten conscious breaths, the one sun salutation, the writing of one sentence? How to increase intensity without losing motivation?

This: Minimum Viable Habits (MVH)

As I worked on my body/movement practice, the answers to those questions started coming in gradually and organically.

After consistently doing my tiny habit of one sun salutation every day, I decided to add a one-minute plank. I’d been wanting to strengthen my core for a while, and this seemed like a nice and easy way to start working on that. Easy peasy.

A few days later I noticed my body wanting some shoulder stretching after planking, so I added that. It felt natural (and it felt so good!). Eventually I found an article with a short powerful five-minute exercise routine, and I started adding those one at a time. Some felt right, some didn’t, so I kept what I wanted and left the rest out.

Eventually, my one sun salutation turned into a nice, sweet, intuitive ten minute movement routine that I do almost every day, and that became my new normal.

I now call this routine my Minimum Viable Habit (MVH): It’s the minimum I have to do every day in order to feel like I not only showed up, but also did something significant that made me feel accomplished in regards to my practice.

Notice that I said I do this routine almost every day: that is key. The tiny habit is still the minimum mandatory. But it’s exactly because I don’t force myself to do more that I end up doing the whole MVH roughly ninety percent of days: because it makes me feel like I am overachieving, which is super rewarding.

The same happened with my ten breaths tiny habit.

I slowly grew it into one minute of meditation, then two minutes, then five, then ten. Now ten minutes is my MVH. But here I went even further: I now usually do 30-45 min every day, and only around 15% of days I go back to ten minutes. I only went back to the tiny habit (10 breaths) once.

Why This Works

The main reason why this approach works so well is the fact that it doesn’t require any willpower or forcefulness.

The MVH makes everything easier because it gives me a clear next milestone to aim for after the tiny habit, and at the same time removes the pressure by making it optional. In other words, the resistance is removed because I have a clear path to follow, but I also have the freedom to not do it if I don’t want to.

I didn’t stop at the MVH, though.

Every time I engage in my practices I pay attention to what my body is asking for, and I add new things accordingly. Push-ups. Breathwork. Another stretch. The key is not to think that I “have to” add more, but to just do it intuitively and playfully.

I noticed that the less pressure I put on myself to “do more”, the more I actually do. And the more I do, the more I feel like expanding my practice even further. It’s becoming easier and easier to read my body’s cues: when it feels like vigorous movement; when it feels like resting; when it feels like being caressed or touching another body; when it needs more water or more air or more warmth or more love.

There is no end goal to achieve: there is just the pleasure of exploration and diving deeper into the experience of being in my body, one small step at a time, whenever and however I feel like it.

What I Am Working On Right Now

I love the habits I have right now, but I am feeling a calling for more movement in my days (anyone else spending a lot of time in front of the computer?) So I’m playing around with adding more movement to my days in a way that’s intuitive, playful, and sustainable.

This last week, I added another TH to my routine: after breakfast, I plan a slot later in my morning (in a break from work) to dance to a single song, and I choose the song straight away. This usually leads me to take the break when the time comes, and I get another five to six minutes of conscious body movement in my day.

My strategy right now is to cue myself with tiny habits all over my day, like planting the seeds of the behaviors I want to cultivate, and then growing from there.

This is my plan to move forward. I want to make embodiment and movement practices a natural part of my daily routine. So I’m observing the things I love to do already — running, walking, yoga — and asking myself:

“How could I make this into a Tiny Habit, and then a Minimum Viable Habit, so that I can make it happen consistently?”

And then I keep on experimenting until it becomes integrated in my routine, small step by small step.

The Biggest Lesson I’ve Learned With All This

Building habits is not about willpower.

The less pressure I apply, the more I feel like engaging in the practices I chose.

The only discipline required is to show up and to the tiniest step required, and then the rest is optional. The next steps are merely guidelines, but knowing what comes next helps remove resistance.

I am discovering more and more that building habits is about being gentle with myself and enjoying the process. My MVHs are usually created over several weeks of experimenting and doing what feels naturally good for me, so they are intuitive and easy to stick with.

I think a lot of people believe that discipline is about forcing ourselves and never falling below a certain standard, but I think it’s much more about setting clear intentions and then finding the path of least resistance towards fulfilling them.

Systems vs Intuition - Which One Do You Need Right Now?

2021-02-06T00:00:00+00:00

You’ve probably heard a hundred times that good systems are a critical component for continuous and sustainable personal development. However, while I’m totally on board with this idea, I’d like to suggest that it’s not the entire picture.

It’s true that good systems help you create recurring spaces for deliberate practice, and consistently show up to do what you want to do.

For example, having a solid, non-negotiable daily exercise routine (system) will help you show up on days when you don’t feel like it, compounding your progress and leading to having a body in which you feel amazing.

However, there are two major pitfalls, that await you at every corner:

You might feel resistance towards living your life in a structured, pre-planned way with little space for spontaneity. What about listening to your body? What about living in the present moment?

And if that doesn’t sound bad at all, then you might fall victim of:

Procrastination by perfectionism, as in getting stuck in infinitely researching, improving, and tweaking your systems. And that’s a deep, deeeeeep rabbit hole (trust me, I’ve been there).

In this article, I’ll share an alternative approach: cultivating intuitive systems for personal development, using four simple practices you can implement right now.

Towards Intuitive Systems

Let’s start with reframing our thinking a little bit.

I’d like you to look at intuition and systems not as opposites, but rather as two complimentary skills you can improve simultaneously.

Just like you need both focus and peripheral awareness to increase the capacity of your conscious mind, optimizing both your intuition and systems gives you the combined benefits of both, leading to tremendous personal growth that actually feels playful and aligned with your constantly evolving needs.

Systems

Intuition

Consistency leading to compounding growth
Acting in alignment with your current needs
Clear strategy removes decision fatigue
Being present in the moment
“Lifeline” when your willpower is low
Deep flow

How To Cultivate Systems And Intuition

Ready to cultivate intuitive systems? Below are four of my favourite practices that you can start implementing right away.

You’ll notice that the practices build in on each other and overlap. Mix and match them to suit your preferences, and feel free to share your own practices with me. I’d love to learn from your experience!

The Check-In

This simple practice requires no more than 10 seconds, and you can engage in it at any point of your day, wherever you are.

The check-in is particularly effective in transitions between different activities, early in the morning, and during moments of confusion, disconnection, or procrastination.

Simply check-in with yourself: Why do I want to do what I’m about to do?

The check-in creates a moment of mindfulness, allowing you to connect with yourself and understand if what you’re about to do is something that is serving you or not.

To give you more context, here are three real examples of how Silvia and I are using the check-in:

A while ago, Silvia identified that too much coffee increases her anxiety levels, and she created a system that consists of never having coffee two days in a row. It seems to work well, but coffee addiction is a cruel mistress. So, whenever she considers breaking this rule, she checks-in with herself to understand why does she want to drink a coffee and if that’s the best thing to do right now. As a result, the check-in helps her actually use the system she created, become more aware, and re-kindle her motivation, even if sometimes it feels hard to resist a delicious cup of Joe.

I used to get stuck in content consumption binges following links I found in newsletters and social media. Does this sound familiar? To deal with that problem, I created a system of saving all content I want to engage with to Instapaper instead of reading it immediately. The check-in happens whenever I feel like reading. Before opening the app, I ask myself “what do I want to read about?” and only then find a piece of content that feels relevant.

This example came up a few times in our community of practice and it’s particularly relevant when most of us work from home. Before and after every virtual call, ask yourself: “what can I bring to this call?” and “what am I taking away form this call?” This simple practice helped me to be more deliberate about my interactions, and removed agitation connected to switching from one call directly to another.

And yes, you guessed it right: the check-in works in a similar way to meditation. The long term-goal is for this sense of connection, clarity, and intentionality to carry over on to other moments of your life, so you can be more present at all times.

Review

This is one of the most effective practices and it takes only 5 minutes per day (or week if you’d rather do it in that rhythm).

Reflect: *What was good? What wasn’t so good? What’s next?

That’s it.

You can take notes, but it’s not really needed for this practice to work. If you keep a journal, it’s also a great idea to flip through your pages before engaging in the practice.

Here’s an example:

Every Saturday I flip through my journal and write down my plus/minus/next in my PKM (personal knowledge management) app. I used to do my review on Mondays and on paper, but I changed that during one of my recent reviews, because it felt more aligned with my current needs. See where am I going with this?

A review practice helps you cultivate an agile approach to personal development. After all, you are constantly evolving, and your systems and practices need to evolve with you.

Note: if you’re looking for a minimalist weekly review practice combined with weekly planning, we’ve created one for you.

Tiny Tweaks

This one goes to all the perfectionists out there: stop trying to create a perfect system right off the bat.

First of all, there’s no such thing as a perfect system. Secondly, you’re constantly evolving, so the system needs to evolve along with you.

Instead, focus on tiny tweaks you can implement right now that would make a difference to your biggest bottleneck.

Some examples:

Recently I had a conversation with a person who finally managed to build a consistent journaling practice by using the Infinity Squares. The key was to start with a tiny square every day with very little writing, and gradually build up the practice. No need for a perfect journal. No need for setting up a complex productivity system. Draw a square every day, write a sentence about your day, and take it from there.

I recently decided to learn Portuguese. I can understand quite a fair bit, yet I never really made an effort to speak. To address this bottleneck I committed to speaking out loud the contents of one flashcard per day. This habit is so tiny that I never skipped it and on 95% of the days I end up actually speaking quite a lot with my partner, neighbours, and Portuguese friends. Needless to say, my Portuguese improved dramatically and it felt completely effortless.

I often get overwhelmed by the imperfection of my digital environment. The perfectionist in me wants to optimize everything and gets overwhelmed by the rabbit hole of productivity software. Taking the Collector to Creator course forced me to make a tiny tweak that changed everything: commit to ONE note-taking app and stick with it, no matter how imperfect it is. I picked Obsidian because it resonated most with my values and needs, and this simple decision skyrocketed my digital productivity. And whenever a new idea for improvement comes to my mind, I just add it to a brain dump, and then implement whatever feels most effective right now.

Remember: the purpose of tiny tweaks is to actually start moving forward, rather than getting stuck in “preparation phase” forever. A perfect system is a moving target, and the only way to get there is to keep moving.

Relational Rhythms

This is a personal favourite of mine.

Thing is: You don’t have to do it all alone.

In fact, having another person to listen to your thoughts can provide you with insights that otherwise wouldn’t surface for months. And sometimes all you need to do is say out loud what’s in your head.

For best results, create a rhythm where you meet with another person or a group on a regular basis, whether it’s weekly, monthly or bi-annually. This will create a recurring space for relational growth that is harder to postpone or avoid, since you’re committing to another person. And you can use the space to refocus, reconnect with what’s most important for you, and find the best way forward – again, and again.

To make it more intentional, I recommend having a direction for your conversation, for example a topic you want to explore, a habit you’re building, or a goal you’re working towards.

Some examples:

Every six months (roughly) I have a call with a good friend of mine. We like to keep this spacious rhythm because it helps us filter the most meaningful events, reflect, and witness each other’s growth.

Last year Silvia and I were experimenting with the microsolidarity framework and we co-created three different groups where we connect and explore different topics/areas that are important to us: exploring challenging emotions, navigating challenges of romantic relationship, and connecting on a deeper level. This was one of the most nurturing experiences of 2020 for us.

What’s Next

Instead of the typical conclusion paragraph, I’ll leave you with two very practical steps:

As you finish reading this article, check-in with yourself to reflect on what is a tiny tweak you’d like to implement in your life right now.
At the end of the week, review how it went and what’s next.

Your Antilibrary - How To Design Your Environment For Mindful Content Consumption

2021-01-30T00:00:00+00:00

You might have experienced the following problem:

There are so many sources throwing interesting content at you all the time (newsletters, articles, books, videos, online courses…), that sometimes you get overwhelmed and / or derailed from what you wanted to be actually learning about.

And if you’re a genuinely curious person interested in many different topics, that’s a recipe for never-ending procrastination disguised as learning. It certainly happens to me (sad trombone).

How to cherry pick what’s most relevant for you right now?

This year, Silvia and I decided to experiment with mindful content consumption and we created our own antilibrary.

Antilibrary is Environment Design

The basic idea behind an antilibrary is to focus on collecting what you want to learn, instead of what you already know. While it was first introduced in The Black Swan (affiliate link) as a collection of unread books, you can apply it to any form of content.

In fact, you can think about an antilibrary as an example of environment design:

Whatever content you surround yourself with (be it books, videos, or conversations with people) will shape the person you become.

And since your time is limited, it’s important to choose wisely.

One of the possible solutions is to carefully examine what you want to be learning and why, and adjust your content consumption environment to become deliberate rather than random.

For example, if your main passions in life are meditation, permaculture, and cycling, you might place your favourite meditation app on the homescreen of your phone (and remove everything else), buy a few books about permaculture and place them where you can see them often, and subscribe to your favourite cycling Youtube channel for a regular motivation boost. And gradually limit your engagement with other content (especially the kind that sends you down rabbit holes you don’t want to explore).

Of course, the example above is an oversimplification for most of us. After all, there are so many enriching things we could learn and it’s hard to know in advance what’s the real value of the content you’re about to engage with.

What seems to work best for me is a balancing act between deliberate learning (“exploiting”) and curiosity (“exploring”).

Note: We created a journaling exercise to help you use the Explore / Exploit Trade-Off. You can find it here.

Let’s put this into practice:

Make it a part of your content consumption routine to ask yourself:

Why do I want to consume this content?

The answers can reveal some uncomfortable truths, such as:

“I never actually read this newsletter, but staying subscribed makes me feel clever.”

“It’s easier to consume whatever Netflix recommends than find a good film to watch.”

“I bought this book because I’m addicted to collecting books, but the truth is that I’ll probably never read it.”

“I don’t even know why I’m reading this…”

These insights are precious. You can use them to optimize your environment for deliberate content consumption, one step at a time.

And if you’re curious about my personal insights and actions from this process, then here they are:

Switch off auto-play in everything.
Reach out to people I trust to know about a topics I want to learn about and ask for content recommendations, rather than click on interesting links on social feeds.
Prioritize long-form text, such as books and essays, over short articles.
Send all articles and videos I feel like consuming to Instapaper. Ask myself: “what do I want to learn about?” before opening Instapaper.
Keep unsubscribing from all newsletters that are not relevant for me right now. I can always find the content on the website if I feel like it.

But here’s the hard truth:

Even if you narrow your interests down, there’s still an infinite amount of content you could be consuming.

That’s why I’ve taken another step.

The Minimalist Bookshelf

Imagine that you’re about to spend a month crossing an ocean on a sailboat. What content would you take with you?

After coming across the Pino Bookclub from 100 Rabbits (a couple of creators living on a sailboat), Silvia and I decided to apply a similar tactic and deliberately choose books we want to read this year, order them in print, and place them on a bookshelf in a place where we can see them very often.

Fun fact: I built the bookshelf myself from recycled pallets.

We didn’t set a specific number of books in advance, but tried to keep the selection relatively small — just enough to bring variety and insight, but not too much to trigger overwhelm and getting lost.

We also spent some time choosing the books together, which made it easy to act intentionally, rather than on impulse. And having the two of us became an asset: Silvia chose books that I wouldn’t, and vice-versa, which brings an extra degree of “exploring” into the mix.

Finally, we picked the place for the bookself strategically. We spend a lot of time in the office (which is also our playroom), and having the books at the entrance ensures that we keep seeing them throughout the day, so they stay in our awareness. That’s also one of the reasons why we decided to go for physical books, rather than ebooks.

Here’s the magic formula:

Deliberate content consumption (why?) + radical prioritization (less is more).

And now, to the actual books we picked.

Our Bookshelf for 2021

We divided the books in two categories:

Manuals: books that provide deep insight into a specific topic/area that we want to be coming back to regularly for reference.
“Single-read books”: other books, mostly to be read once.

You’ll notice that we didn’t pick many fiction books, and that’s deliberate. We are lucky to have a local library full of amazing literature curated by two book lovers, and we prefer to chose fiction reads based on curiosity, rather than planning.

We also didn’t decide what we’ll do with the single-reads at the end of the year, but that’s a problem for our future-selves. We might donate them to the library, or share them with our friends / community.

Here are the books in no particular order, along with a short explanation of why we picked them.

You can watch the video, or if you prefer, read below.

FYI: All links are affiliate links.

Manuals

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche

Because inevitably I will die, and I want to be ready when I do. That’s also the only book that doesn’t show on the shelf, because we lent it to our friend.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

The Mind Illuminated by Culadasa

Because it’s the most comprehensive step-by-step guide to enlightenment. Enough said.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

The Detox Miracle Sourcebook by Robert Morse

I’m aware that diets are extremely touchy subjects for people and I’m not trying to tell you what will work for you. But since I’ve started following nutrition principles advocated by Morse my body transformed so much, that I have no doubt that it’s an optimal diet for me.

Amazon

Ultralearning by Scott Young

A manual for learning effectively, from a guy who learned four languages in a year, and passed an entire MIT 4-year curriculum in a single year. Everything’s possible.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

Draft No. 4 by John McPhee

Both Silvia and I are nonfiction writers, and who’s a better person to learn from than McPhee.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

Ishmael by Daniel Quinn

This is not a manual per se, but it’s the single most impactful book both Silvia and I have ever read. And we both want to keep rereading it every few years.

Amazon

Dreams of Awakening by Charlie Morley

We spend so much time sleeping, and lucid dreaming is a wonderful practice to turn this time into something both healing and magical. That’s the one book that always lies next to my bed, ready for grabs whenever I wake up at night.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler

Because learning about and tracking her menstrual cycle made a huge difference to how Silvia feels in her body.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

Single Reads

Unflattening by Nick Sousanis

Because after I first came across Nick’s work, I’ve been mesmerised and craving to see more, and on paper.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

The Practice by Seth Godin

Because I love Godin’s concise writing, and I’m dedicating this year to deliberate practice.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

Sand Talk by Tyson Yunkaporta

Because I’m not happy with how our world functions at the moment, and I have a feeling that this book has important wisdom to share that can help me co-create something better for all beings.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

Lead Together by Brent Lowe, Susan Basterfield and Travis Marsh

Because I’m curious to read a book written by members of Enspiral (a network both Silvia and I contribute to). Also, here’s what Frederic Laloux (author of Reinventing Organizations) said about this book: “If I were out there trying to build a different kind of organization, I would take this book on my journey and go back to it all the time.”

Local Bookstore / Amazon

The Story of B by Daniel Quinn

Because Ishmael by the same author is the most impactful book I’ve ever read.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

The School of Life: An Emotional Education by Alain de Botton

Because I read The Course of Love a while ago and it had a tremendous positive impact on my relationship. And I really vibe with de Botton’s writing style.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

I kept hearing from many people I trust (including Silvia) that it’s an absolute must read.

Local Bookstore/ Amazon

Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Because I want to learn more about flow states.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

Finite and Infinite Games by James P. Carse

Because the title sounds great and it’s been highly recommended in the sense-making web.

Amazon

Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg

Because it’s the practice I really need to cultivate more in my life, and Salzberg is its most renowned teacher in the West.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

Weapons of Reason compiled by Human After All

I came across this publication a long time ago and I loved the first two issues but I never got the other ones since I’ve been traveling and didn’t feel like carrying physical books with me. But it was a no-brainer for me to support their Kickstarter campaign for the book compiling the best articles from all the issues.

Direct from Publisher

Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon

Because Silvia felt like it’d be fun to read, and I agree.

Local Bookstore / Amazon

Bonus: What About Films?

I recently came across Mubi, and I can’t recommend it enough. Instead of pushing you to watch more of the same (like Netflix), the platform focuses on careful curation of world cinema masterpieces. For a cinema lover like myself, who doesn’t want to spend a lot of time searching for the pearls, this is the place.

If You’re Overwhelmed With Too Many Priorities, Ask Yourself This Question

2020-04-24T00:00:00+00:00

The world is full of possibilities, and you want to do it all.

You want to take that course, start that project, read that book, learn that skill, all while making time for your day job, hobbies, spiritual practice, friends and family—and all in the next month or two.

It always happens in cycles: you get excited about a bunch of (genuinely interesting!) things, and you fill your schedule to the brim. Some people can make it all work, so why wouldn’t you?

At first it feels exciting, but eventually it gets overwhelming.

You know you need to prioritize, but everything seems so important that you don’t know what to drop. And then the worst happens: you get so obsessed about choosing the right thing and taking the most effective step possible that you end up paralyzed.

So you procrastinate. Then, as time goes by and deadlines approach, you are forced to choose the urgent over the important. You feel disappointed with your results, and you lack clarity and focus on what to do next. Inevitably, you always end up asking yourself: Why do I keep choosing the wrong things? Why didn’t I start things earlier? How can I plan better next time?

The answer: ask yourself a different question.

The Question You Need To Ask Yourself

A few years ago when I quit my job and decided to change my life, I had a long list of things I wanted to do: start a Youtube channel about relationships, work as a live performing artist, start my own blog, find remote freelance gigs, become a life coach, learn meditation and yoga and travel the world and many other things.

As surprising as it may seem, I started by doing most of those things, all at the same time.

Obviously, that didn’t go very well.

I quickly became overwhelmed. I never had time to relax; I felt guilt and FOMO whenever I worked on one thing because that meant neglecting something else; I felt that my life lacked coherence and focus, and instead everything seemed like a messy collage of activities and habits that didn’t make sense together and instead of fulfilling me only scattered my energy, attention, and happiness.

And that’s when it hit me: I had to look beyond the surface.

When we get too busy or lack clarity or focus, our first instinct is to try and find new systems and solutions. We try that new productivity software, we read a new book, we change our to-do lists and goal setting strategies, but we forget to look at the most important component: our very human needs that made us want those things in the first place.

So I simply asked myself:

“What do I really need?”

What was behind my drive to pursue all those dreams, tasks, projects, and habits? What holes was I trying to fill in my heart and soul? What was the purpose of all that?

When we were babies, we were very aware of our own needs: we cried when we needed food or love or sleep, and we laughed when we were covered for fun, intimacy, or contentment. As we grew older, things got more complex as we discovered needs such as appreciation, learning, personal growth, or emotional closeness. But the truth is, as human beings, we still function in the exact same way: we can’t be happy if our needs aren’t met (and our needs are usually much simpler than we think).

As I shifted my thinking from “what should I do” to “what do I need”, things started becoming clearer.

I noticed more obvious needs such as financial stability and creative expression, mixed with less obvious ones such as the need for spirituality, community, and independence. I discovered a strong need for freedom that translated into wanting to work for myself, along with a need to help others, contribute, and collaborate.

Every task or project or possibility had a very strong, deeply rooted reason to be on my mind or in my calendar—I just had never thought to look at it before.

Gradually, I came to understand that I didn’t necessarily have to keep my Youtube channel (which I didn’t enjoy so much anymore), or spend so much time doing freelance work just to pay the bills. As long as I met my need to be seen and appreciated, to be creative, to have fun, to have a positive impact in the world and to sustain myself financially while being free to travel, I would be happy with pretty much any professional occupation. It turned out that starting a blog was the answer.

I invite you to make a list of all the tasks, habits, and projects in your life (present, future, or just hypothetical), and then ask yourself: “What are the needs that make me want to do those things in the first place?”

You might realize that your strong desire to keep taking different courses comes from a deep need for learning and discovery. And you can go deeper: so why is it that you feel overwhelmed with so much “knowledge”? You might want to balance your need to learn with your need for creativity. Or maybe you just don’t feel stimulated enough by the things you’re studying, and you need a change. Or you might realize that the only reason you’re studying is because you just don’t know what else to do and your real need is to find purpose and meaning.

In the process of discovering your needs, you might also find some hard truths. For example, you might realize that you took a job offer just to please your parents, or that you’re pursuing certain goals in a desperate attempt to become someone that you’re not. In those cases, keep asking until you find the source: why do I worry so much about what others think? Why do I struggle to accept myself? In what other ways can I bring my parents happiness? How can I heal this relationship?

Another question you can ask yourself is: “What other needs do I have that I am not currently meeting?”

To answer this question, it might help to look at moments or interactions in your life when you feel unhappy or less than proud of your behavior (such as procrastination, conflict with others, or feeling confused).

You can be surprised by the answers. Think of needs you don’t usually consider: do you have enough personal space? Accomplishment in your work? Time to rest? Time to play? Authenticity in your relationships? Sexual expression? Opportunities to practice compassion? Safety and stability?

Now, take into account that no matter how many needs you find, your time is limited. This is why you need to prioritize. The question to ask here is: “How can I optimize my actions so that each of them meets as many of my needs as possible?”

For example, consider meeting your friends for a walk instead of a coffee place so that you can meet your need for companionship and physical movement at the same time. Find an occupation that satiates your curious and creative nature while providing you the financial stability you need. Leave your mark in the world in a way that is both fun, fulfilling, challenging, and helpful to others.

Gaining Perspective

When you have enough clarity around your needs—what’s been missing, why you choose the things you choose, and why you get overwhelmed—then it might be time to consider new options.

Just to liberate yourself from all the ideas you were stuck with before, leave them aside for a moment. Instead, ask yourself: “What are the craziest things I could do to meet my needs?”

For example, I often consider possibilities such as leaving everything behind and learning meditation in a cave in the Thai jungle, give away everything I own, start a new business from scratch, shave my head, or stop everything I’m doing and just write a novel. More often than not they stay in my imagination, but considering them helps me broaden my perspective, and once in a while there is a great idea among them that I actually follow.

That’s me when I shaved my head a few years ago.

Sometimes, all we need is a bit of perspective.

Sometimes, in order to understand what to do next or what to let go of, you just need to look from a higher point of view so you can see the whole path. If you don’t reflect on your deepest needs and consider them when you make decisions, it’s very unlikely that you will ever be happy or satisfied.

It’s okay to not know what to do. It’s okay to be confused and overwhelmed. That, too, is a sign of a need unmet. When it happens to me, it’s usually a cry for stillness and clarity, and in order to meet it I love taking time to be in silence. I go to the forest on my own, sit by the ocean, or simply look out the window. Very often, this is enough—that’s how simple it gets when you identify the right needs.

Perhaps, if you find yourself needing clarity and stillness right now, this might be a good next step for you too. Spend a moment on your own, maybe in nature, without social media, without distractions or external stimuli. Maybe you take your journal with you. Maybe use it to get in touch with your deep, real, human needs.

If you want, here’s a free fill-in printable with all the questions in this article plus a few extra ones that will help you reflect and better understand your needs and, therefore, make better decisions and regain the clarity you’ve been craving:

A 3-Step Journaling Process To Deal With Anxiety In Challenging Times

2020-03-31T00:00:00+00:00

No matter who you are, no matter what’s your situation right now, here’s something I want you to know:

It’s okay to feel anxious.

In fact, it’s a perfectly natural reaction to difficulties and to be honest, most people in the world are probably feeling the same way right now.

What’s not healthy, however, is how we deal with anxiety. We usually either suppress it (by numbing it with distractions or pretending that nothing’s wrong), or by letting it consume us and become the only focus of our lives.

Today, I’m here to propose an alternative solution that has saved me in my darkest days numerous times in the past. It’s a three-step journaling exercise, and the premise is very simple: first, you look your anxiety in the eye and make peace with it; then, you change the narrative you tell yourself about it; and finally, you step out of the slump by defining your next simple action.

I am not a doctor, and this won’t replace therapy or medical advice, but it will help you get out of bed in the morning feeling 50% better most of the days. That I can guarantee.

Before we begin, I invite you to switch off your phone, make yourself a hot drink, and get yourself comfortable. Then grab a piece of paper and a pen, and let’s start.

1. Fear Dump

“Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look. That’s the compassionate thing to do. That’s the brave thing to do. We could smell that piece of shit. We could feel it; what’s its texture, color, and shape?”—Pema Chödrön in When Things Fall Apart

UCLA conducted a study where a few people with a fear of spiders were divided into groups and given different instructions before they had to face a huge tarantula.

One group was told to use neutral terms to describe their feelings about the spider, such as “That little spider can’t hurt me; I’m not afraid of it”. Another group was instructed to say completely unrelated things out loud. The third group was told to say nothing at all, and the fourth group was instructed to simply acknowledge their fear by telling themselves things like “I’m anxious and frightened by the ugly, terrifying spider.”

Surprisingly (or not), it was the fourth group that felt the least afraid when they faced the tarantula.

Sometimes, when we put our fear into words, when we acknowledge our stress, our anger, our frustration, when we face our emotions and look them in the eye, they suddenly appear smaller or even disappear, like those white dust-like dots on the inside of our closed eyelids.

The first exercise in this process is so deceptively simple that it might seem ridiculous, but I encourage you to give it a try. It goes like this:

Open your journal, grab a pen, and write down everything you’re feeling anxious about. Everything. Write how you’re afraid that you’ll run out of money, that you’re too fat to be loved, that you can’t stop being anxious, that people are emptying the supermarket shelves and quarantine will make you crazy, that COVID-19 will not only kill your parents but also eradicate humanity.

Don’t stop writing until your mind is empty. At best, when you’re done, you’ll feel as light as a butterfly, ready to start a nonprofit to help children with cancer, feeling a huge desire to hug your mother and thank her for the wonderful gift that is life.

At worst, you’ll feel a bit shaken, a bit confused, but also like a small weight has been lifted off your shoulders, or like you finally understood something that had been silently nagging at you for years. That’s a good sign: you just took a good, brave look at your anxiety, you broke its spell, and now you’re ready to move on to the next step.

2. Change the Narrative

In the midst of the whole coronavirus madness, one of my students told me a beautiful story.

Despite being a calm and rational person, she had been finding herself in a constant state of fear due to all the panic and anxiety present in her everyday life environment. When she noticed this fear impacting her ability to remain kind and patient towards her children, she decided things had to change.

Recently she had been struggling to find hand sanitizer (all the shops were out of stock), so instead of letting this create more frustration, she turned it into an opportunity. As most kids her age, her children are very much into online gaming, so she created a real life quest for them to pursue as a family: they were to go to town together, each of them with a ten pound bill in their pocket, and the first to find hand sanitizer would be the winner.

The result? Not only did they find hand sanitizer, but she said her children were more excited and communicative than she had seen them in weeks. By the end of our call, she set herself a goal: “Over the next few weeks, I will not give in to fear; instead, I will create my own narrative where my children and I stay united and face the challenge with a positive mindset.”

The way we feel is directly related to the stories we tell ourselves about what happens in the world around us. Therefore, for the second exercise, I invite you to read what you wrote before and build a different narrative around it.

There are numerous ways to do this. You can, for example, for each fear you wrote down, come up with something related that you’re grateful for (“I’m anxious about the economy crashing” could become “I’m grateful for my emergency fund in the bank” or even “I’m grateful to live in a first world country and never having starved”).

Another way would be to look for hidden opportunities or inspiring stories arising from the challenge you’re facing. My student’s story is a perfect example of that, and so are the stories of all the artists that create beauty from pain, all the doctors risking their lives to save patients, the terminal patients whose illness brought purpose to their lives, and everyone who finds joy in helping their neighbor with a favor, a kind word, or a smile.

Get out of the negativity bias and see life for what it is: a beautiful contrast between laughter and challenge, light and darkness. Use your fears as raw material to write your new story—one of empowerment, lucidity, and compassion for yourself and others.

3. Regain Control

One of the biggest causes of anxiety is our annoying tendency to focus on (and obsess about) things that are outside our control. We love hating on politicians, worrying about what others will say, or consuming terrible news about the world that leave us feeling like crap.

The alternative is to start focusing on things we do have control over. This includes how we behave towards others, who we vote for, what we choose to do with our time, and how well we take care of ourselves and our health.

And this brings us to the last part of this exercise: to write down a list of things that you can control, and which can have a positive impact on yourself, your loved ones, or your community. This can include journaling, meditating, exercising, sending a loving message to a friend, donating to your favorite charity, or anything you like. They can be as simple as doing one push up, or as complex as starting a new business.

However, because it can be easy to plan but hard to take action (probably because of our tendency to overcommit) I invite you to add a bonus step to this final exercise: to choose one action among all those and make it your next step. You can use Gary Keller’s focusing question to help you with that: “What is the one thing I can do today, such that by doing it, everything else becomes easier or unnecessary?”

Write down your answer in your journal, and then do it. Just that one thing. And then tomorrow—if you feel like it—repeat this whole process. You will be surprised to find how much motivation, empowerment and happiness there can be in the simple act of following through with something you have committed to, no matter how small.

To sum up

If you’re feeling anxious, start by being okay with it. Anxiety is human, and you’re not broken. It won’t last forever. For now, just acknowledge your anxiety as it is, without judging it. Then, start rewiring the way you see things, and the way you feel will start to change too. And finally, focus on things that are within your control; take it one step at a time, starting today.

Right, this is it. If you try this process, let me know how it goes in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

So much love to you, and remember: this, too, shall pass.

Meditative Drawing 101 - Relax Your Mind, Focus Better, and Easily Create Mindful Art

2019-12-12T00:00:00+00:00

After years of drawing and meditating regularly and seeing incredible benefits from both practices, I discovered that I could make them even more powerful by bringing them together into a single powerful practice: meditative drawing.

What is meditative drawing?

Meditative drawing (or drawing meditation) is a visual technique for training attention and awareness, putting the mind in a calm and stable state, and exercising your creative muscle.

This article is for you if you are:

a beginner meditator exploring fun, creative ways to develop mindfulness,
an experienced meditator wanting to expand your practice into other areas of your life,
a creative person wanting to relax your mind and soothe your anxiety,
someone who wants to expand their journaling practice into new areas,
someone with no artistic skills (or so you think!) who wants to create beautiful drawings in an easy way.

Meditative Drawing for Anxiety: Does It Really Work?

In case you had any doubts, it’s true: drawing and creating art have been proven to have a positive effect in reducing anxiety and bad mood.

But here is the truth: deep relaxation can only last and anxiety can only truly disappear when you practice mindfulness.

So now imagine—what if we combined both the power of mindful meditation and drawing to achieve peace and relaxation?

Mindful drawing is the answer. Its benefits go way beyond reducing anxiety: it can help you improve your focus, make you a kinder person, deeply change how you see the world, and even be your first step towards Enlightenment.

Art Meets Mindfulness: What Is Mindful Drawing?

If I could have access to everyone in the world and recommend one single book to them, it would be The Mind Illuminated.

Culadasa (aka John Yates Ph.D., neuroscientist, buddhist meditator, and the author of this incredibly down-to-earth guide to spiritual Awakening) explains that the conscious mind has two ways of processing knowledge: attention and awareness.

Attention is where your focus is. If you would compare it with your eyesight, that would be the words you’re reading in this article right now.

Awareness is what’s being processed in the background. For example, as you read this, you might be aware of the sounds outside, a subtle pain in your upper back, or a growing urge to use the bathroom.

Mindfulness is the optimal relationship between attention and awareness. They are both very important: your awareness scans the environment (both inside and outside your mind) and identifies important things so your attention can focus on them. When the two are balanced, your mind becomes stronger, more stable, and consequently more relaxed.

Mindful drawing uses pen, paper, your breath, and a series of muscles in your body to achieve that state.

As a bonus, you will end up with beautiful drawings and patterns that you can use to embellish your bullet journal or create art—but remember: it’s the process that matters, and the end results are secondary.

Meditative Drawing for Mindfulness: The Basics

The historical Buddha, Siddhãrta Gautama, taught a simple mindfulness practice:

“When walking, walk; when standing, stand; when sitting, sit; when lying down, lie down”.

He could as well have said “when drawing, draw”.

Mindful drawing is an embodied practice. In other words: bring yourself (your mind and your body) to the present moment and get immersed in the act of drawing without doing anything else simultaneously.

Materials for Drawing Meditation:

You can use your journal if the pages open wide enough so your hand won’t be blocked by the crease in the middle (I recommend Leuchtturm1917). If not, just grab a piece of paper and place it on a flat surface.

I recommend using a technical pen such as Staedtler Pigment 0.1 because it requires no pressure on the paper like ball-point pens. However, if you don’t have one, it’s better to just use the one you have instead of postponing until you have the “perfect pen”.

How To Start a Drawing Meditation Session

![Drawing Meditation](/assets/drawing-meditation-3.jpeg

Sit comfortably and relax your body. That includes your drawing hand: notice how the pen feels in your fingers. Are you holding too tight? If so, relax your grip.

Let the pen gently glide on the paper to create a line and give yourself a moment to explore.

How does the pen interact with the paper?

What is the texture like?

What thoughts are going through your mind as you draw?

How do your body and mind feel?

Whenever you’re ready, let’s move on to the exercises.

6 Powerfully Relaxing Meditative Drawing Exercises

The following mindful drawing exercises will help you to:

Improve your attention and ability to focus;
Cultivate strong mindfulness;
Calm your mind and reduce anxiety;
Express yourself and unlock your creativity;
Create beautiful doodles and patterns even if you have zero drawing skills.

1. Draw Your Breath

Gently holding your pen between your fingers and above the paper, bring your attention to your breath.

Without trying to control your breath (without purposefully making it longer or shorter, deeper or shallower), start moving the pen up and down to its natural rhythm, moving from the left to the right side of the page (if you’re left-handed, do it the other way around).

As you do this, focus your attention on the breath (the in-breath, the outbreath, and the pauses in between). Your peripheral awareness should take care of the ink being passed on to the paper, the position and feeling of your hand, and the overall act of drawing.

Remember: don’t try to modify your breath to fit the movements of your hand; instead, let the drawing be a mirror of how fast or slow, deep or shallow your breath feels.

Keep your grip relaxed, and keep your hand and forearm off the paper; this might make your trace a bit shakier at first, but it gives you more freedom (and the shakiness might end up being your personal artistic touch!)

By focusing on your breath and remaining aware of its representation on the paper, there is no space left in your mind for anxious thoughts. This exercise is a perfect warm-up at the beginning of a drawing meditation session.

2. Attention and Awareness Circles

You already know the basics of meditative drawing: sit comfortably, keep your hand relaxed, yada yada yada.

Now, the time has come to increase the conscious power of your brain by increasing the intensity of your attention and the scope of your awareness.

We will do that in a very simple way: by drawing circles.

Here are the rules:

Always close the circle. Even if it’s imperfect (like an egg or with sharp corners), all that matters is that you close it, because this means that you pay attention to where and when you draw the beginning and the end of each line.

Keep your eyes focused on the tip of the pen, while remaining aware of the rest of the drawing as it expands.

If you want to take it one level further, when you’re closing a circle, consciously choose the place for next circle you’re going to draw. Then, once you start it, remain aware of the place where you drew your previous circle.

You can also alternate between clockwise and counterclockwise drawing motions, and make that an intentional choice too.

If these last steps are too challenging, don’t worry: keep practicing the simpler version until you feel comfortably mindful, and then increase the difficulty. The more you practice, the sharper your attention will be, and the more opportunities you will find to apply intention and mindfulness.

3. Embodied Mindfulness

Simply level-up the previous exercises by connecting the circles to your breath.

Start the circle in the beginning of the in-breath, reach halfway at the same time as you switch to the out-breath, and end the circle at the end of the out-breath.

This will expand mindfulness from the confines of the paper and into your physical body—through the breath. Whenever you feel that you’ve nailed this one, you can start becoming aware of different sensations of the breath throughout your whole body (instead of just at the nose), and broaden your awareness once more while you draw the circles.

4. Anxiety In, Anxiety Out

Attention can be directed to any object we choose.

In this exercise, we will use the skills gained in the previous steps and explore our emotional state.

Let’s begin with negative emotions.

If you look deep into the nature of anxiety, agitation, stress, restlessness, you will notice that these states are not real, but simply the absence of something else—calm, joy, fulfillment, certainty.

These “negative” emotions are just like darkness, which has no existence of its own, but is merely the absence of light. Therefore, the key is not to hate them and wish them to go away, but instead to replace them with that which they the absence of.

This is a two-part exercise.

Step 1

With your hand and body relaxed, focus your attention on how you are feeling. Is there a specific point of resistance in your body? How would you name the emotion—is it anxiety, anger, fear?

Allow your hand to freely express that emotion. If it makes it easier, draw as if you were that emotion. Do it without lifting the pen from the paper—this will remove indecision and keep you focused on the feeling without interruptions.

Step 2

Whenever you feel that you have got a good grip on whatever is bothering you, it’s time to replace it with its opposite.

First, you need to identify it: what is it that you lack that is making you feel these negative emotions? If you’re feeling anger, you might be lacking compassion. If you’re feeling stressed, you might be lacking peace. If you’re feeling agitated, you might just need some comfort, reassurance, or relaxation.

Once you’ve identified the opposite of your resistance, let it take over the drawing. Without stopping the pen, let your new emotion take control of your hand, and see the line transform itself as fills in the “darkness” from your previous emotion.

Does this sound like too much woo-woo for you?

That’s okay—you can skip it. But you’ll be missing out: the reason why most of us are so stressed and tense in the first place is because we are out of touch with our emotions, because we see them as weaknesses to be hidden and controlled.

By making us focus on how we feel, this exercise helps us create self-awareness, and voice parts of us that have been hidden for who knows how long. So let go of self-judgement: express your long-repressed parts by unleashing them onto the paper. The visual results can be surprising and extremely rich!

5. Drawing Mandalas

What is a mandala?

The word “mandala” comes from the Sanskrit for circle, and it also encompasses the ideas of wholeness and unity. Carl Jung is credited with using the mandala in therapy sessions—drawing mandalas can be a wonderful tool for emotional expression, self-soothing, and connection to inner calm.

According to art therapist Joan Kellog’s research, our attraction to certain shapes and configurations during the drawing process of mandalas makes them have a strong impact on our physical, emotional, and spiritual condition in that moment.

How To Draw a Mandala

There are plenty of mandala tutorials out there telling you that you need rulers and compasses and all sorts of complex materials for drawing mandalas, but here’s the truth:

Drawing mandalas is the most fun when you do it free hand.

The purpose of these exercises is to cultivate mindfulness, so we don’t care about perfection—all we care about is the process.

Here’s how to draw a mandala free hand:

Start with the center. I recommend starting with a small circle or two.

Start adding elements from the inside out. It’s easier to keep symmetry on a small scale, so by drawing layer by layer, you can keep your mandala balanced even without using a ruler or a compass.
While you draw, try to focus your attention on the tip of the pen and the small part you’re currently drawing.
Simultaneously, keep your awareness open to encompass the whole mandala—this will train you to draw more proportionately, as well as keep your attention to drift to unwanted thoughts.

Add any elements of your choice. You can use the mandala to express your emotions, your creativity, to draw patterns that soothe you, or simply for the pleasure of creating aesthetic beauty. Here are a few examples of patterns you can use:

In Tibetan Buddhism, drawing mandalas is a form of prayer. In the end, whether it’s with mandalas, with drawing, or with any other activity in life, the results often matter less than the process: your state of mind, what you feel while you’re drawing, your intention, and the quality of your presence.

6. Zentangles: Easy Patterns for Drawing Meditation

Image source.

The Zentangle method is an “easy to learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns” called tangles. Some of its benefits include areas such as phobias, addictions, conflict resolution and workplace burnout.

The method has become extremely popular due to how easy and relaxed it makes it to be creative.

How to make a Zentangle? The steps include starting with gratitude and appreciation, then drawing four corner dots on a small square paper, connecting the dots to draw the borders, then drawing shapes and finally filling in the shapes with whatever patterns or shapes you wish.

Zentangles are a great way to apply mindful drawing to a more complex and creative structure. There are countless patterns you can inspiration from, and if you want to learn more about the methodology, click here.

Meditative Drawing Is Awesome

Whether you want to become more mindful, calmer, more focused, or simply find new ways to develop your spiritual practice, meditative drawing will surely rock your world.

Start simple to learn the basics, and then progress onto the more complex forms such as mandalas. Once you get your mind and body in the right space, the beauty of your drawings will surface as a consequence, and you’ll enjoy your practice more and more.

How To Clear Your Busy Mind With a Brain Dump (+ Bullet Journal Brain Dump Examples

2019-10-10T00:00:00+00:00

Support Journal Smarter by buying a pdf version of How to Clear Your Busy Mind With a Brain Dump

You know those sleepless nights when you can’t stop thinking about all the tasks you haven’t completed?

The emails to reply, the laundry to wash, the family to call, the reports to write… an ever-growing list of to-dos that never seems to have an end.

How do we end up like this?

Here’s how: we commit to way too many things when we’re in a productivity high, but then, because we’re obviously not superhuman, we get overwhelmed.

But here’s the good news:

Eliminating overwhelm is easier than you think.

David Allen, the author of Getting Things Done, geniously points out that the mind is meant for having ideas, not holding on to them.

When we rely on our mind alone to remember and manage all our tasks and projects, the mind gets overloaded. We are left with no space to think clearly, to process new information, or even to focus when someone is speaking to us.

That’s why one specific practice in Getting Things Done (which is one of the most popular productivity books ever) became extremely popular:

Brain dumping.

What is a brain dump?

A brain dump is the process of emptying your mind by transposing your busy thoughts onto paper.

This practice always picks me up when I feel lost in a hurricane of thoughts and tasks. It works like magic.

In this article, I will show you:

How and when to do a brain dump
What to do with the ideas that come out (and organize your life once and for all!)
How to incorporate a brain dump practice into your journal or bullet journal.

Step 1: Dump It All Out

Start by writing down everything that’s on your mind right now, such as tasks, projects, unfulfilled ideas, or any other wandering thoughts—especially those that bother you on a regular basis.

You can do this step in your bullet journal, but I recommend using small papers or cards, as it will make the next steps easier. You’re aiming to get at least 100 items down.

To make sure you don’t forget anything, it might help to go through different areas of life, such as:

Work
Health/Fitness
Relationships
Official/Admin
Spiritual
Hobbies
Books to read
House tasks
Etc.

It might also be helpful to set aside a specific time to do this (20 to 30 minutes should be enough).

Step 2: Projects, Projects, Projects

Once you’ve collected all your thoughts, it can be really useful to group them into projects.

The projects you choose will depend on what’s going on in your life right now. To give you an idea, here is an example of the list of projects from my most recent brain dump:

Some projects might coincide with the categories you chose initially, and that’s okay.

Once you’ve assigned each item to its proper project, you can move on to the next step.

Step 3: Get Your Priorities Straight

The next questions to answer are: from all these items, what’s important and what’s not? What should be done now and what should be postponed?

One project at a time, organize every item according to their priority level:

1st Priority

Urgent / very important things
Things you’ve already committed to
Non-negotiable things

2nd Priority

Things you want to do, but that aren’t urgent or very important
Things that depend on someone/something else (eg. reviewing someone’s work)
Things that will only happen in 2-3 weeks from now

3rd Priority

Things you might want to do but you’re not sure yet
Things to happen in more than 3 weeks from now
Dreams for a distant future

4th Priority (Let Go!)

Things which won’t really damage you if left undone
Things you realized you can’t possibly do with everything else that comes above
Things you really don’t want to do

This step is where your bullet journal can come into play.

Create a spread called “Projects”, and create separate boxes for each project.

Materials used:

Then, ordered by priority, write down all the items under their corresponding project, leaving a one-line gap under each item (I’ll explain this in the next steps).

Step 4: Next… Action!

Take a look at your first project, and ask yourself:

What is the first thing to be taken care of in this list?

This will be your Next Action.

Naturally, you might want to start with items in the 1st Priority section. Choose the one that feels the most important right now, and draw an empty tick-box next to it. Resist the temptation to choose more than one: you will come back to the list later on, and after all you can only do one thing at a time.

Repeat the process with each project.

Step 5: Phrase Your Next Action

Chances are that, if you’re like me, your to-do lists aren’t always… well, actual to-do lists.

For example, most people often write down things like “bank” or “Mike”.

These aren’t actionable to-dos, and we often end up subconsciously postponing them because the action is not clear enough.

So your next step is to clearly define your Next Action.

Let’s say that your Next Action was initially written as “Dad’s birthday”. You want to transform it into a very tangible action inserted within a context or timeframe, such as: “call Mom to arrange surprise party details tomorrow at 7pm”.

Remember the small gap that you left under each item? This is where you will write your newly phrased Next Action. If you want, you can cross out the old one!

Different items might need different specifications. For example, if your Next Action is an idea that you want to bring to life, you might want to define it as “write down [idea] in my ideas spread”, “use [idea] when writing my new article”, or “brainstorm [idea] with Mary at our work meeting tomorrow”.

Whatever it is, make sure you make it clear and tangible so you know exactly what to do next. This is the best antidote against procrastination!

Note: As you dive deeper, some Next Actions will turn out to be bigger and more complex than they seemed at first. In those cases, you can turn them into projects and write down all the relevant items under them.

Step 6: Take Action!

This one is quite straightforward: just do your Next Action in each project!

Sometimes, this will mean going out and doing it; other times, it might simply mean allocating a slot in your calendar for it.

Once this is done, you can tick the box next to it.

Two-minute rule: if it takes less than two minutes, do it right now.

Step 7: Define a New Next Action

Once you’ve completed your first Next Action in a project, it’s time to define a new one!

As you progress, you will eventually move on to priorities 2, 3, and 4.

This is another great opportunity to use your bullet journal to your advantage!

Depending on the priority of each item, you can write down your next action on:

Your daily spread
Your weekly spread
Your monthly spread
Your future log
Your goals page

In some cases, you might even want to create a new spread (for example, a fitness tracker, or a meal plan page).

Once you reach your 4th Priority (Let Go!), you can simply take a moment with each item to acknowledge that you are letting it go. Some things only need to be brought to awareness so they can be released. You might also want to delegate some of them to other people—in that case, adjust your Next Action accordingly.

Step 8: Repeat the Brain Dump

When and how often should you do a brain dump?

The quick answer is: as often as you need it.

Some people like to do it every week; I personally like to use it as a special weapon for those times when I feel especially overwhelmed, stressed, or completely lost and swamped in projects and deadlines.

Here are a few occasions when it might be helpful to do a brain dump:

When you feel inspired and need to organize all the new ideas in your head;
When you feel frustrated, unbalanced, or confused;
When you have lots of clients or projects going on;
When you’re planning out the next month, semester, year, etc.;
After learning something new – brain dumps are great to consolidate knowledge, and students and teachers love this tool!

Achieving an Empty, Creative Mind Is Easier Than It Seems…

All you need to do is take some time to declutter your thoughts.

It’s just like cleaning your house. Sometimes, a general sweep is enough—in those cases, Step 1 might be all you need.

However, if you want to go deeper and do some serious spring cleaning, follow all the eight steps—this will help you get your life organized, eliminate overwhelm, and completely refresh your state of mind.

Note: If this is useful, you can help JournalSmarter to exist and buy a pdf version of this article. No pressure, though. We love you anyway!

Joy Cards

2019-09-14T00:00:00+00:00

The world needs more joy and love.

Or at least that’s what we think.

That’s why Silvia created the Joy Cards, which you can cut out and give away to your friends, family, co-workers, or even attractive strangers you would otherwise be too shy to talk to.

You can print the image below (note that it might take a moment to load) or download this pdf (direct link).

Instructions

Whether you’re at a networking event, a Christmas dinner, or a night out with friends, there is nothing that attracts people more than humor, originality, and of course… compliments!

Print and re-print your own deck as often as you like and keep it at hand if you want to bring more laughter and love to the world—and of course, always be the heart of the party.

It’s our mission and joy to make the world a happier place. Want to give us a hand?

Get your printable, 100% hand-drawn, cut-out pdf with 16 Joy Cards, and start spreading the love!

How to Stay Focused on Your Goals No Matter What (and Finally Achieve Them)

2019-08-31T00:00:00+00:00

Support Journal Smarter by buying a pdf version of this article (including the layout of the weekly spread).

In theory, achieving goals is quite a simple process:

Set a goal and identify action(s) to take.
Take identified action(s) and achieve the goal.

However, when it comes to practice, it’s obviously more complicated.

Allow me to illustrate: imagine that you want to spend a month bicycle touring in Europe next summer.

You grab a piece of paper and write down some key things you need to do. It might look like this:

After one hour of brainstorming, you have a clear goal, with three tangible actions to take. Easy peasy, right?

The thing is, goals don’t exist in a vacuum. Therefore, real life always gets in the way of our plans.

Unable to do everything all at once, we tend to prioritize easy (but irrelevant) tasks, having fun, or solving unrelated problems. We are as busy as ever, yet we keep postponing the actions that really matter. As time passes, we don’t even remember why our plan was important in the first place—or even worse, what our goal was.

I call this the distraction trap: the looming hole between a plan and the act of making it happen.

The distraction trap is well camouflaged, making it very hard to spot. Poor cyclist stands no chance…

So, how can we jump over the distraction trap and progress towards our goals?

It’s simple: all you need is a bridge.

In other words, in order to achieve your goals, you need to see the link between the “why” and “how”; you need a constant, clear overview of how your “micro” tasks contribute to your “macro” goals, so that you can engage in meaningful action every day without getting derailed.

Keep it up for long enough, and you’re bound to reach your goal!

In this article, I will show you how to build this bridge.

All you’ll need is a pen, paper, less than 0.94% of your weekly time (60min or less per week + 5 min per day), and a simple spread divided into two sections: Goal Filter and Action Plan.

Together, your goals and actions provide a crystal clear overview of what you are doing, why you are doing it, and what’s your progress.

Here’s how it works.

1. Goal Filter: Stick To What Matters Most

Here’s a secret:

You make your goals happen today, not in the future.

That’s why, whatever your goal might be, start with breaking it down into simple actions you can actually take every day (especially on that crappy day when you don’t feel like doing anything at all).

By transforming your goal into daily actions you can ensure that:

You understand how your “micro” actions contribute to your goals;
You make constant progress;
You filter out everything that is trying to derail you.

That’s where your Goal Filter comes into play.

Note: I highly recommend playing around with different layouts to find the one that works best for you. It might take some time but it will be worth it.

Here’s how to use it.

Define your goal: what do I want to achieve?
Set your milestone: what is the first thing that I need to make happen to progress towards my goal?
Identify High Impact Actions: what are (up to three) actions/habits I can engage in this week that will ensure the most effective progress towards my milestone?

It might be useful to keep those questions handy.

Let’s look at some examples.

Example 1

Q: What do I want to achieve?
A: Be super fit and healthy.

Q: What is the first thing that I need to make happen to progress towards my goal?
A: Find a diet that works best for my body.

Q: What are (up to three) actions/habits I can engage in this week that will ensure the most effective progress towards my milestone?
A: Watch one video every day exploring different diets; go vegetarian for a week; track the performance of my body (energy level, focus and quality of sleep).

Example 2

Q: What do I want to achieve?
A: 10x my income

Q: What is the first thing that I need to make happen to progress towards my goal?
A: Become debt-free.

Q: What are (up to three) actions/habits I can engage in this week that will ensure the most effective progress towards my milestone?
A: List all of my subscriptions and cut the unnecessary ones; spend at least $1 less every day and redirect the money towards paying back my debt; research a better credit card deal.

Example 3

Q: What do I want to achieve?
A: Finish my thesis.

Q: What is the first thing that I need to make happen to progress towards my goal?
A: Outline the whole thesis.

Q: What are (up to three) actions/habits I can engage in this week that will ensure the most effective progress towards my milestone?
A: Create a mind-map for the whole thesis; compile research materials; outline the first two chapters.

How would this look like for you?

Once you are clear on your goal, milestone, and High Impact Actions, draw your Goal Filter on the left side of your weekly spread, so you can look at it every day.

One last thing:

Make it as easy as possible. I highly recommend starting with one goal and a maximum of two High Impact Actions. You can always add more later, but the most important thing is to actually do it.

Remember:

By taking action today you are already becoming who you want to be in the future.

2. Action Plan: Make It Easy

When you know where you’re going, you just need to walk the path.

This is where things get hard, but don’t despair. In order to make it easy for yourself, you simply need to remove points of resistance.

And one of the biggest ones is the energy spent on making choices.

Yep, that’s true—there’s research proving that there is a limited amount of “choosing power” available to you every day. In order to preserve it for making important decisions, you should avoid wasting it on thinking what to do next. If you want to learn more about removing resistance points and optimizing yourself for success, I’d highly recommend reading Atomic Habits by James Clear and this article by Benjamin Hardy..

In other words, the most effective way to become unstoppable is to know exactly how your tomorrow will look like.

That’s where your Action Plan comes into play.

Here’s how to use it:

Each box represents one day of the week.

At the end of each week, take some time to reflect and plan your next seven days.

You’ll notice straight away that the space dedicated to each day is very small. This is not a mistake: by restricting available space, you’re forced to focus on the critical tasks only and avoid overcommitment. As Tim Ferris recommends in his bestselling book 4h Work Week:

“There should never be more than two mission-critical items to complete each day. Never. It just isn’t necessary if they’re actually high-impact.” — Tim Ferris

Before planning your High Impact Actions, write down your prearranged commitments, such as important meetings Every week, I review upcoming events and appointments and run them through my Goal Filter. If they are aligned with it, I commit them to my Action Plan; if they are not, I cancel them. You won’t believe how many events I thought I needed/wanted to attend, only to realize the last minute that they were distractions not bringing me any closer towards my goals., in their appropriate space. This will give you an overview of the total time available this week.

You can see your availability at a glance!

The next step is to make time for your High Impact Actions.

You’ll be taking advantage of timeboxing—a practice of migrating to-do lists into calendars with the intention of blocking the necessary time for them If you want to learn more about timeboxing, here’s a great article by Marc Zeo-Sanders. Simply commit them into your Action Plan for the entire week.

After timeboxing the High Impact Actions there’s not that much time left.[/caption]

Then, every day (including your weekly planning session), take an extra five minutes to plan your next day in detail.

Your High Impact Actions and important prearranged commitments are already there, but you might want to add other non-critical items. Look at your Goal Filter and choose wisely (Pareto Analysis might come in handy). You might want to ask yourself: “Will doing this bring me closer towards my milestone?”

Rule of thumb: if it doesn’t fit, then you’re overcommitting. Instead of failing to do too much, succeed in doing too little and reinvest the free time into meaningful action or quality rest.

When you decide on the tasks for the following day, write them down in chronological order, so you don’t need to think about where to start. You just removed one of the biggest points of resistance!

Note: I never plan non-critical items more than one day in advance, so I can remain flexible and keep my options free.

That’s it. Your Action Plan is ready.

That All Sounds Great, But How To Actually Do It?

“Success is not a goal to reach or a finish line to cross. It is a system to improve, an endless process to refine.” – James Clear

Here’s a hard truth:

Planning is a prerequisite to success, but without execution it’s fruitless. That’s why this system aims at making it as confusion-free as possible.

Your actions are waiting for you in chronological order. More importantly, they are not just any actions: they are t_he most effective things you can do_ to achieve your goal. And if you forgot what you’re working towards… Well, your goal is right there, next to your actions.

Every day, look at your spread, engage in the next action, and mark things complete as you fly through the day.

Whenever you feel off-track or confused, or notice that you’re procrastinating, simply look at your spread and ask yourself:

Am I engaging in my High Impact Actions?

If you are, then great—you’re right on track. If not, then look at your High Impact Actions and work on one of them instead.

It doesn’t get simpler than this.

Only one thing left! Let’s do it!

Before you start celebrating, there are two last things to do.

1. Daily Review & Planning (5 minutes)

At the end of each day, look at your spread and ask yourself:

How can I make my High Impact Actions inevitable to happen tomorrow?

When you know your answer, plan your following day and start again.

2. Weekly Review & Planning (30-60 minutes)

At the end of every week, take a moment to reflect upon your progress. Adjust your goals and High Impact Actions as necessary, then plan your next week and repeat the entire process:

Define/review your goal, milestone and High Impact Actions;
Plan your week;
Make it happen;
Review, optimize and repeat.

You can print this image or get a pdf template at the end of the article.

I need to be honest with you.

The process presented in this article is an excellent place to start, but it’s not going to make your challenges magically disappear.

There will be days when you feel like crap. You will get distracted. You will lose motivation and question whether you can ever become the person you would like to be. That’s all part of the process.

The good news is that every single time you bring your awareness back to your goals and High Impact Actions, you are taking another step towards your destination. That’s what this weekly spread is for.

Step by step, breath by breath, you will inevitably get there. And when you do, you will smile to yourself, knowing that there is no magic trick to it—you simply walked the path you have chosen.

It’s totally within your power.

Note: If this is useful, you can help JournalSmarter to exist and buy a pdf version of this article including the layout of the weekly spread. No pressure, though. We love you anyway!

Resources

The method explained in this article can be integrated with the Infinity Squares. Here’s one way to do it: How to Finally Stop Procrastinating With 1 Simple Journaling Methodology.
If you are new to goal-setting, here’s an excellent article by Rafael Sarandeeses, which helped me tremendously with designing my own system.
Procrastination is a scary monster. And this is a super-helpful article on how to deal with it, written by Tim Urban.

Why Asking Deep Questions In The Evening Might Hold the Key To Your Problems

2019-07-31T00:00:00+00:00

Being a human being, you probably occasionally face problems in your life that don’t seem to have a solution.

Like feeling anxious for no reason.

Or feeling unhappy in your job, or in a relationship that you don’t know how to fix.

Or perhaps it’s just pure uncertainty about the future—not knowing your next steps, lacking motivation and creativity, and fearing failure.

You’re not alone. I know how it sucks to feel stuck, frustrated, powerless. Believe it or not, we’ve all been there.

Now here’s something that may feel both empowering and scary: when it comes to these kind of big, juicy personal challenges, no matter how much advice you get or how many books you read, the final answer will always be up to you.

You and only you have the power to solve it.

But how?

Well, it’s simple: you already know the solutions to your problems; deep inside, you already know what to do.

You just need to learn how to access that knowledge.

Whether you want to call it self-awareness, intuition, or simply connection, the truth is that we know more about ourselves than we think. The thing is, most of this knowledge is usually hidden in a rarely accessible part of our mind: our subconscious.

The subconscious mind is like the basement of our consciousness, or the bottom of the sea. It’s dark and unexplored, and we don’t know much about it because we rarely go there. But if we want to dig up those big answers, we need to bravely dive in and fish them from the corners of our mind.

One of the most powerful ways to find those deeply buried answers is by asking deep questions.

But wait—there is a catch.

Googling “deep questions” or picking random journaling prompts won’t do it. If you want to penetrate the surface of your conscious mind and find the insights that lie beyond, you need a strategy.

You need to ask the right questions, and you need to ask them well.

And that’s what this article is all about.

‘Most Important Question’: Josh Waitzkin’s Problem-Solving Secret Weapon

Josh Waitzkin is an eight-time US National Chess Champion, a two-time World Champion in Tai Chi Chuan Push Hands, and the author of the book The Art of Learning. The movie Searching for Bobby Fischer was actually based on him.

Nowadays, Josh trains world class performers from a variety of different fields. In an interview with Tim Ferriss, he mentioned one specific exercise he uses to move through major blocks by bridging the gap between conscious and subconscious: he calls it “Most Important Question” (MIQ).

This is how it works: at the end of each day, after you finish work, take some time to reflect and come up with the Most Important Question of your day. You might be looking for a solution, a direction, a feeling—whatever it is, make a question of it.

When you’ve got it, write it down in your journal, and then…

Let it go.

Forget about it.

Take some time to relax with a good book or a meditation session, and go to sleep without it on your mind.

Next day in the morning, right after you wake up (make it the very first thing, that is, before you check your phone or walk the dog), open your journal, look at the question, and spend some time brainstorming it.

Why do it this way and at these specific times?

Your conscious mind is most active while you’re awake, and the subconscious while you sleep. By using your questioning process as a bridge between both, you are engaging the wholeness of your brain in super effective problem-solving teamwork.

This is Your Brain on Deep Questions (and a Good Night’s Sleep)

In his book The Art of Thought, English psychologist Graham Wallas proposes that the creative process involves four stages:

Preparation (identifying the problem),
Incubation (processing the information on a subconscious level),
Illumination (when everything becomes clear),
Verification (testing if the idea really solves the problem).

Solving big problems requires creative thinking.

The problem is that, by obsessing and constantly worrying about getting the answers, we often skip an important stage of the process—the Incubation.

By allowing your sleeping brain to process your Most Important Question and then coming back to it first thing in the morning (which has been proven to be the brain’s prime time for creativity), you are allowing Incubation to happen during the night, so that Illumination can take place next time you brainstorm.

When we question ourselves in this way, we are also practicing the muscle of letting go (which is crucial in our always-on, hustle-and-burnout culture), and we are learning to focus on the important themes of our lives, which leads to less problems and more progress.

How Evening Deep Questions Rocked My World

I’ve always loved journaling and asking myself reflective deep questions.

However, since I learned about Josh Waitzkin’s way to use these tools as a direct connection between conscious and subconscious, both these practices started bringing me 200% more results.

Let me give you an example.

A while ago, I noticed that a deep melancholy had been surrounding me and everything I did consistently for a few days.

This was nothing new: I had felt this way a few times before in my life.

But this time, instead of letting myself get dragged down by it (as had happened in the past), I decided to pose a question to my subconscious:

“What is my melancholy trying to tell me?”

In the evening, I wrote down the question in my journal. As I went to bed, I did my best to stop thinking about it until the morning.

Then, when I woke up, here’s what came out of my mind:

“My melancholy is a sign, a prompt for me to access a new level of awareness. I am grateful for it, because it’s putting me in a place of discomfort where I can’t just run away anymore. It’s showing me what is out of alignment in my life in such an obvious way that I can’t look away from it. I have to move on and change.

Now, what does need to change? One thing is time spent in front of the computer. The other is a need for more alone time and self-reflection.

My melancholy is showing me all the fear that lies within me, and how the key is just to be with it and let go. It’s telling me that evolution is necessary. I am no longer satisfied with the way I am living and the things I am doing. I want to feel more passion and do more exciting things that break my routine. I want to feel more fresh and alive. I can do that by being in Nature. Where I am now the canal is a good option. When I go to Wales, Nature will be everywhere.”

After that, my relationship with sadness changed immediately. The insights had been planted like seeds. Since then, without even thinking much, I have been taking daily steps to address the problem (going outside more often, breathing more deeply, playing more, journaling more).

This practice has also helped me improve my writing process.

Here’s my problem: with almost every article I write, I eventually hit a block.

I always get to this point in my writing process where I hate everything I wrote, or I feel like a fraud, and it can take me days to find out how to move forward. The article becomes an obsession, and I become miserable.

Asking myself deep questions about my creative process (such as “What message do I want to convey with this piece?”, or “Which part is not fitting in with the rest?”, or “What do I really want to write about?”), plus taking a break, and then coming back to it, has unlocked ideas that I didn’t even know I had inside me (an example: some of the illustrations in this article came from MIQs!)

But what I gained from this exercise doesn’t end there.

A few more benefits I got: amazing ideas to bring more closeness into my intimate relationships, directions to strive towards (for example, noticing that I tend towards rigidity, and want to aim towards flexibility), solutions to deal with my anxiety and fears, clarity on my life’s purpose, and so much more.

I found that sometimes it can be hard to convince my mind to switch off and let go of the problem in the evening, but this is a crucial part of the process. Ask deeply and honestly, rest, and only then answer.

When I manage to do that, the insights are sure to come in the morning.

How To Find Your Most Important Question

Josh Waitzkin uses the MIQ technique for different purposes, such as “big, thematic questions”, “tactical questions”, or even more moral and personal questions, such as getting a “clear read” on how he “intuitively feels about somebody”.

You can use this process to ask deep questions about any area of your life (personal, professional, interpersonal, spiritual, etc.) Josh recommends using it for “areas of stuckness”—in other words, this is the perfect weapon to slice through big, hairy, scary blocks.

Now, how do you find your own MIQs every day?

The answer is: there is no one-size-fits-all formula.

Part of the beauty of this technique lies in the fact that it’s highly adaptable and unique to each person; you are the only one who can define what is important for you to tackle each day.

There are, however, a few tips that I have found really helpful when brainstorming my MIQs.

1. Ask More Questions

There is no pressure to find your perfect MIQ every single day.

Most of us are not used to doing this kind of thinking, so you might have to feel the ground and do a bit of exploration first.

And that’s okay. If you don’t know what’s the most important thing you can focus on that day, start by investigating with some preliminary questions, such as:

“Where do I currently feel stuck?”

“What event/pattern has been repeating itself in my life lately?”

“In which area do I currently have a strong desire to grow?”

“What has happened today that has left the deepest mark in me?”

Asking any kind of deep questions will always lead you somewhere good. You will see certain topics and patterns coming up, and that will give you a good idea of where to focus on when asking your MIQ.

For example: you might notice that something that really stood out for you that day was a piece of negative criticism from a friend, which left you feeling really hurt and offended.

From there, you might come up with MIQs such as:

“What does my pain in receiving negative feedback tell me about myself?”

“What can I learn from this?”, or even

“How do I imagine other people feel when I offer them negative criticism?”

If you don’t know what to ask, ask something else—you will get there eventually.

2. Go Deep

As we have mentioned before, if you want to access valuable insights from the depths of your subconscious mind, you need to dive in for it, go beyond the surface.

In other words: make sure your questions are deep questions.

One way to do this is by trying to identify the deeper source of your problems.

For example, let’s say you want to start a passion project, but you’re constantly getting frustrated because of your lack of motivation and your procrastination. Here are some examples of questions you could ask:

“What is the real reason why I am avoiding starting this process?”

“Which of my core beliefs am I disrespecting by not acting in alignment with my deepest desires?”

“When have I last been through/felt something something similar, and what does that tell me?”

Another way to make sure you’re diving deep is by being very specific.

For example, if you have been feeling stuck with a specific work assignment for weeks, you can try to dig around for details and hacks:

“What is one thing I haven’t noticed that is preventing me from progressing?”

“What five-minute change can I make that might help me unlock my mind?”

“What is one thing that’s working well in this project, and how can I take more advantage of it?”

Finally, you can explore the meta, big-picture questions around the topics you’re facing.

For example, if you find yourself in a conflict with a colleague or a loved one, you can ask yourself:

“What is my purpose in connecting with other people in my life?”

“Which parts of me (emotions, moods, needs) are out of alignment when there is tension or conflict between me and others?”

“What is my definition of love/friendship?”

3. Get Inspired

If you are not used to asking these sort of questions, you can start by getting inspiration from people who do.

In other words, yes, it’s okay to Google “deep questions for self-reflection” or “questions for self reflection” to learn how to formulate them, but it’s always more powerful to then adapt them to your own current circumstances.

Here is a list with some of the best ones we have collected so far at Journal Smarter.

4. Let Go

This is probably the most important part: in order for this exercise to work effectively, you need to let go of the obsession with finding answers immediately.

Don’t ask your question right before you go to bed; give yourself space to unwind before going to sleep, and try to keep your mind away from it while you’re in bed.

Once you get enough practice, you can do the exercise in smaller intervals, several times throughout the day, such as asking a question before you go to the bathroom or take a tea break, and then coming back to it. The key is to alternate between work and rest, tension and relaxation, conscious and subconscious, instead of always remaining on one of the sides.

How To Start This Evening Ritual Today

You don’t have to feel defeated every time you encounter a tough challenge: you can harness the full potential of your mind to find the solutions that are already available to you.

Try it for yourself. Tonight before bed, grab your journal, do a bit of evening reflection, and find your Most Important Question.

Write it down and read it a couple of times. Let it sink in deep. Then stop thinking about it, relax, and have a good night’s sleep.

Right after you wake up, take five minutes to write down the answers. Freely. Naturally. Let it flow.

Remember: go deep, let go, and let the insights arise.

40 Deep Questions To Get To Know Yourself and Your Life Purpose

2019-07-19T00:00:00+00:00

“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” – Tony Robbins

The quality of your life is directly connected to the questions you are willing to ask.

Better questions lead to better answers. Better answers lead to better actions. Better actions lead to better outcomes.

The thing is:

We all ask questions to other people pretty much every single day, but how often do we take the time to look within and ask ourselves?

Fortunately, there is a simple way to do it, and the name of this blog probably gave you quite a good hint on what it might be.

You’re right! It’s journaling.

The selection below includes some of my favorite questions for getting to know myself (although you can also ask them to other people). Simply pick the one(s) that resonate with you and answer them in your journal. Profound insights guaranteed.

Note: If you want to learn how to incorporate questions into a powerful journaling practice, here’s an article to read.

Deep Questions To Ask In Your Journal

What are you most likely very wrong about?
What chapters would you separate your autobiography into?
What are some things you’ve had to unlearn?
What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?
What question would you most like to know the answer to?
If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?
Why did you decide to do what you are doing now in your life?
What’s the best and worst piece of advice you’ve ever received?
What’s the most impactful ‘no’ you’ve said recently?
What was the most stressful experience of your life?

Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
What would you like to change about your family?
What was a place or event that transformed your ideas, thinking, perspective, or made you come alive in a new way? What changed?
What one thing you would do if it would be impossible to fail?
What is something you love now, that you never could have imagined you would like in the past?
If you could invite anyone, living or dead to dinner, who would that be and why?
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
What are you addicted to?
What’s the milestone you’re working towards right now in your personal and professional life?
What was the most bizarre encounter you’ve had in your life?

Okay, you’re halfway through! Take a deep breath and let’s take another dive:

If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
What do you spend too much time doing? What don’t you spend enough time doing?
What makes you feel most alive?
What is something you know you do differently than most people?
What advice would you offer to yourself five years ago? One year ago?
What small gesture from a stranger made a big impact on you?
What are you looking forward to in the coming months?
Did you ever feel lost in your life path? How did you find your way again?
What do you want your epitaph to be?
What do you regret not doing? Why haven’t you done it?
What would constitute a perfect day for you?
What’s something you love about yourself?
When do you feel truly alive?
When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?
What do you consider as your biggest achievement in the last 5 years?
What is the most challenging part of your job? How do you handle it?
What was a major turning point in your life?
What’s one thing that could happen today that would make it great?
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
What would you like to ask yourself?

Where to Find Good Questions To Ask?

The list above is by no means comprehensive.

If you’re still hungry for questions, here are some amazing resources I highly recommend:

Conversation Starter World by C.B. Daniels
Big Talk by Kalina Silverman
36 Questions To Fall In Love With Anyone (based on a study The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness)
Open Questions by Julia Galef

Can I Ask You a Question?

I bet there were a few times in your life when you were faced with a very good question. You know, the one that made you stop, think, perhaps hesitate for a moment, and then answer.

You see, those are very precious. And that’s where I would love to ask you:

Would you mind sharing it in a comment below or send me a message?

There is nothing quite like learning from other people and their experiences. And I know that you are full of amazing things to share.

How These 14 Incredible People Use Their Journal to Stay On Top of Their Game

2019-07-17T00:00:00+00:00

Why should you keep a journal?

Will it make you more successful?

Will it make you happier?

Lighter?

Clearer?

More productive?

Will it help you create the life of your dreams—and maintain it?

I don’t have the answer to all those questions, but here’s what I can tell you: the most inspiring and successful people I know all keep a journal. Coincidence? I don’t think so. And that’s why I decided to reach out to some of them and ask them the following question:

“In what ways do you use your journal to stay on top of your game?”

This article compiles fourteen fascinating answers from fourteen fascinating people—the list includes bestselling authors, coaches, CEOs, and overall amazing human beings who have all reached success in different fields of life and business, and whose journaling habit has played a big part in it.

You might know a few of them (if not all), but if you don’t, it is my pleasure and honor to introduce you to some of the people whose work and ideas have changed my life in a way or another, and I hope they will inspire you as much as they have inspired me.

Disclaimer: Some of the links in this article are affiliate links. We strongly support and believe in all the people and products we promote, and this allows us to share their work while also supporting Journal Smarter to remain a sustainable, high-quality content blog.

1. Nir Eyal

Do you ever wonder what are the best ways to build new habits or quit old ones?

If so, you might want to check out Nir’s work. He blogs about behavioral design—an intersection of psychology, technology, and business—and he is the bestselling author of the books Hooked and Indistractable .

As an entrepreneur and investor with a lot of experience in the fields of video gaming and advertising, Nir has learned the techniques used to motivate and manipulate users, and his mission as a writer is to help “companies create behaviors that benefit their users while educating people on how to build healthful habits in their own lives”.

How does he manage to get so much done while staying focused on making the world a better place? Apart from the tips on productivity , time management , and creativity that you’ll find on his blog, there is one specific practice that Nir uses every day to stay on top of his game: journaling.

Here’s how:

“Writing is how I think through big questions. Whether it’s a challenge in my personal life, a societal issue, or a problem I’m facing with work, writing down what’s going on in my head helps me organize my thoughts. It also helps me clear my mind and come to conclusions I’d never understand without taking the time to ponder them on paper (actually, a screen). In my case, I use the MacJournal app to jot down my thoughts, but any word processor would do. I write at the same time, first thing in my workday, for two hours. I often write in a coffee shop here in New York or with other writer friends to make sure I stick to the hard work of thinking through difficult problems. I find the more I write, the better I understand the world.”—Nir Eyal

What can we learn from Nir’s journaling practice?

Journaling is not bound to one specific medium: you can journal on paper, on your laptop, on your phone, or wherever you want. Intentionally creating time to think and ponder (in Nir’s case, two hours in the morning) can lead you to conclusions you’d never otherwise get to in the middle of your busy lifestyle.

Bonus: Nir’s book Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life is now available for pre-order. Three reasons why you might consider pre-ordering it: one, you’ll learn how to eliminate distractions from your life; two, you’ll receive some amazing bonuses before the book is launched; three, you’ll be helping an amazing author create content that matters.

2. Jerry Colonna

In 1996, Jerry co-founded Flatiron Partners, which became one of the most successful early-stage investment programs in the US. Later on, he was a partner with J.P. Morgan Partners, and became well-known as a prominent player in the early development of Silicon Valley.

However, despite his huge success as an investor, Jerry’s career didn’t make him happy. It turns out that he needed something more than money and prestige, so he decided to quit and follow his passion: helping others.

Nowadays, Jerry works as a coach at his own company Reboot.IO , where he finds happiness in helping others design a more conscious life and more satisfying careers. He is a master of asking life-changing questions, and his compassionate approach to leadership, personal-development, and life in general is incredibly inspiring.

After listening to his interview with Tim Ferriss where he talks about his enlightening journaling practice, I decided to ask him how he uses his journal to stay on top of his game.

Here’s what he replied:

“If you allow me to define “top of my game” as feeling clear, grounded, and focused…I’d say that the simple act of having a daily journaling practice has kept me on top of my game for much of my life. I began journaling at age 13 and, with a few exceptions, have journaled nearly every day since. The experience helps me sort through my thoughts, feelings, reactions, and fears—often enabling me to unhook myself from the most challenging of my feelings. It also helps me to discern more clearly the ways forward but helping me to look more clearly at the ways my own past and my beliefs get in the way of my happiness. Journaling helps me say what I need to say while also helping me see how I might be complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want. In short, journaling has helped me grow up and be the adult I was born to be.”—Jerry Colonna

What can we learn from Jerry’s journaling practice?

Journaling can help you get to the root of your most challenging thoughts and feelings, and unhook you from them. It can help you learn from the past and discern the best ways forward. It can help you grow up.

Bonus: In his book Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up , Jerry provides some powerful journaling questions which will help you unlock insights you’ve never even dreamed of before (it almost feels like having your own personal coach next to you). Curious? Here are a few examples of questions you’ll find inside:

“In what ways have I depleted myself, run myself into the ground? Where am I running from and where to? Why have I allowed myself to be so exhausted?”

“What’s my purpose? Why does it feel like I’m lost while I struggle to move forward? How do I grow, transform, and find meaning?”

3. Adam Grant

Here are only a few things out of everything that makes Adam Grant one of my role models:

He’s four times New York Times bestselling author, his TED talks have been viewed more than 17 million times, and he has been recognized as one of the world’s 10 most influential management thinkers.

He is probably one of the funniest, most original writers out there on the topics of work and psychology. And here’s something you might like to hear: he believes (and has actually tested it himself ) that procrastination (the right kind) can actually be beneficial for creativity. Good news, fellow procrastinators!

But of course, procrastination alone didn’t make him sell over two million copies of his books, write for the New York Times, and become Wharton’s top-rated professor for seven straight years (yes, he’s that cool!)

Grant has systems in place that allow him to stay on top of his game and remain productive and balanced. One of them is his journaling practice. Here is his brief and concise answer to my question:

“I use my journal to keep track of new ideas, things to do, and people to follow up with. I also occasionally use it to doodle when I’m bored in a meeting.”—Adam Grant

What can we learn from Adam’s journaling practice?

Capturing ideas and writing down lists may sound simple, but it’s powerful: it clarifies your thoughts and releases precious memory power for more important things.

Bonus: here’s a scan from Adam Grant’s personal journal:

Bonus: Check out Adam Grant’s article about the effects of journaling about positive and negative experiences , and the surprising results of each of them.

4. Kalina Silverman

One day, Kalina decided to go out on the streets and talk to strangers. But instead of making small talk, she decided to make “big talk”, by asking them questions such as “What do you want to do before you die?”, and “What would you do if you knew you’re going to die tomorrow?”

You can see the results in her viral video Before I die I want to…. (Heads-up: you might shed a tear or two).

This was the beginning of her project Big Talk and her career as an entrepreneur, which today allows her to travel the world to speak about her passion: “big talk” and deep human connection.

What role does journaling play in the life of such a brave, kind, and creative person? When I asked her how she uses her journal to stay on top of her game, here’s what Kalina replied:

“To answer this question, I opened up my journal to find clues and here’s what I found: lists of gifts I want to buy for my friends; lists of projects I want to complete in my lifetime (paint a mural, write a song, design a ranch, etc.); answers to Big Talk questions (like “What would I do if money were no concern?”); illustrations of places I’ve been to (a cafe in Cuba, a bus stop in Sri Lanka, a beach in Italy); visual storyboards of documentary films I’m creating; top 10 lists of my favorite places to take people to in Singapore and LA (two of my past homes); habit trackers; piano class notes; New Year’s reflections and goals; and a whole lot more. So, to answer your question, my journal is my game! It’s my play thing, my lifeline, my mind, my confidante, my diary, my sketchbook, planner, and heart.”—Kalina Silverman

What can we learn from Kalina’s journaling practice?

There are infinite ways to journal, and infinite things to journal about. You can use your journal as your life companion and memoir book, using it to compile memories, ideas, insights, habits and notes that you can always come back to for inspiration.

P.S.: Did I mention that Kalina is also a super talented artist? These were not drawn in her journal, but they’ll surely catch your imagination and trigger your creativity!
Oh, and don’t forget to watch Kalina’s Tedx Talk —more than 5 million people did already.

5. Scott H. Young

Scott H. Young is a master of learning.

He learned the entire 4-year MIT curriculum for computer science in under 12 months.

In 2014, he spent one whole year without speaking English while traveling abroad and learning the local languages in Spain, Brazil, China, and South Korea.

His blog, which he started before he was 18, has some of the best articles I have ever read on learning, thinking, productivity, and career.

So how does he use journaling to keep such a high-functioning brain at the top of its game? Here’s Scott’s answer to my question:

“Writing expands your thinking. When you try to think, only in your head, your working memory makes it harder to keep track of everything. The invention of writing, therefore, was a bit like an expansion of our minds. I use journaling to think through tough problems in my own life. What should I do next with my business? How can I handle a tricky situation with a friend? What new habits should I make? Regardless of what I write down, I’m always surprised how clear ideas seem after you write them that were muddled inside your head. Journaling really is a powerful tool!”—Scott H. Young

What can we learn from Scott’s journaling practice?

You can use journaling as an extension of your thinking capacity. Writing things down saves memory, and allows for more complex thoughts and enhanced clarity.

Scott’s book Ultralearning is now available for purchase. If you’re interested in learning a new language (or ten!), starting a business, or earning the equivalent of a college degree in a fraction of the time, this is the book for you.

6. Greg McKeown

Ever heard about Essentialism?

According to Greg McKeown, the author of the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less , the most fitting definition of the term is ‘less but better’. In his book, he explains how “Only once you give yourself the permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter.”

The mission of Greg’s company, McKeown, Inc. , is to teach Essentialism to millions of people around the world so that they can live happier, richer, more meaningful lives.

Greg is a master of prioritizing, simplifying, decluttering, and making things clear. The way he uses his journal to stay on top of his game is a great example of that, and there’s a lot to learn from his practice. Here’s how he described it to me:

“My journal is my most personalized tool for applying Essentialism. I use it for quarterly and annual planning, for weekly design and daily planning and hourly check-ins. It is a place where I can declutter my thoughts, explore what’s essential, express gratitude and expand my memory and self-awareness.”—Greg McKeown

What can we learn from Greg’s journaling practice?

Weekly, daily, and hourly planning are great ways to help you focus on what’s essential. So are expressing gratitude, decluttering your thoughts, and expanding your self-awareness.

7. Brittany Taylor

Brittany is an acrobat, an entrepreneur, an advocate of minimalism, a life and relationship coach, a polyamorous mama, and one of the most unique human beings I have ever met.

On the Youtube channel she shares with Conor McMillen, they talk about unconventional authentic relationships, sex positivity, and the importance of living a love-focused life, free from emotional clutter and unnecessary labels.

Brittany is probably also one of the happiest people on Earth, and she claims that there is one journaling exercise that plays a big part in that:

“People often ask me how I am so happy. This question sparked the creation of this journaling exercise. I think this is essentially what I do to take care of myself and any “parts” of me that are active at any given time.”—Brittany Taylor

Here’s the exercise:

What am I feeling / What am I thinking / What is the active “part” in me?

What is that part’s need or desire?

How can I meet that need or desire?

Do I want to / am I choosing to? If yes, when? If no, why not?

(Check out Brittany’s Instagram to see examples of how she fills in the table).

What can we learn from Brittany’s journaling practice?

When you feel out of alignment, try to identify which “parts” of you need attention, and which needs of yours are unmet. Categorizing your problems and feelings can help you see things from a fresh perspective and access unexpected solutions.

Brittany has a great video about her favorite journaling practices .

Bonus: You can access some seriously awesome journaling exercises that will help you live a more minimalist, simpler, happier life when you get Brittany’s program Simplify .

8. Niklas Goeke

Niklas is a writer, a coach, and the founder of Four Minute Books .

He is also a productivity machine: in 2016 alone he wrote 365 book reviews; his answers on Quora are viewed by over a million people every month; oh, and did I mention he does all of this while being a college student and keeping a few other projects on the side?

When I stumbled upon one of his articles about journaling , I immediately felt curious about his own journaling practice and how it helps him lead such a rich and productive life. So when I asked him about how he uses his journal to stay on top of his game, here’s what he replied:

“I don’t journal to stay on top of my game. I journal to make sure I keep playing the right one. I use The Daily Stoic Journal in combination with The Daily Stoic. Having a quote, a small note, and a prompt helps me streamline my journaling process. It takes me about 5 minutes a day. The themes in this one also help me stress different aspects at different times and learn new things from previous prompts. All in all, this allows me to constantly think about my high-level trajectory, if today’s actions are aligned with where I want to be in five years’ time, and adapt big picture strategies as needed. Even a short, daily journaling habit can have a huge impact. I highly recommend it to anyone.”—Niklas Goeke

Here’s what Niklas’s journal look like:

What can we learn from Niklas’s journaling practice?

Quotes, notes, and prompts are great tools to streamline your thoughts, which, when maintained as a habit, allow you to see the big picture and align your actions with your goals.

9. Derek Sivers

Originally a professional musician and circus clown, Derek created CD Baby in 1998, which became the largest seller of independent music online, with $100 million in sales for 150,000 musicians. In 2008, he sold CD Baby for $22 million and gave the proceeds to a charitable trust for music education.

Derek is one of the most inspiring people I have ever come across. He has hardly earned any money since 2008—he says he has all the money he needs. However, he works as hard as ever, but he does it solely for his “own learning, creating, and giving” (since 2011, he has published a total of 34 books —how incredible is that?)

You’re wondering how he does it?

Derek’s trick is to say ‘no’ to most things, so he has the time to do what he loves, which is to pursue his bigger goals and create cool things. And—you guessed right—he spends some of that time journaling.

So how does Derek use his journal to stay on top of his game? Here his answer:

“I ask myself questions, then question my answers. If I’m planning on doing something, I ask myself what I hope to get out of it, why, and whether there are other ways to get what I want. When I’m feeling conflicted, especially, I’ll ask myself a bunch of questions to work through my feelings, looking for the source of the conflict, then ask myself more questions around the clash in values, and work through other alternate ways I’d like things to be. I answer with my initial thought first, but then question it afterwards with skepticism, and consider different perspectives. I think this has been the single most important thing to my intellectual and emotional development. Almost all the thoughts I have on any subject are the result of writing in my diary and journals, then questioning myself and working through alternate ways of thinking about it, and finally returning to the subject days or months later with a clear head and updated thoughts, seeing how they’ve changed or not over time.”—Derek Sivers

What can we learn from Derek’s journaling practice?

Good questions will help you get to the bottom of each of your problems, emotions, and ambitions. If you want to pursue something, write about it, then question what you wrote and come back to it later with a fresh perspective.

If you haven’t done it yet, check out Derek’s 3-minute TED talk on keeping your goals to yourself (the talk is great, but seeing his happy face and hearing his kind voice is worth it in and off itself—I guarantee it will make your day brighter!)

10. Dr. Tumi Johnson, M.D.

Dr. Johnson is an Integrative Holistic medical doctor. Having worked as an Assistant Professor of Medicine at NYU, run a weight management clinic in New York, and served in West Africa with Doctors without Borders (among other things), her disappointment with “our currently unhealthy medical system” encouraged her to create an alternative solution to traditional western medicine.

Her holistic medical practice is far from ordinary : instead of only giving her patients medications to ease their symptoms, Dr. Johnson—also a yoga teacher and a dancer—aims to first uncover the roots of imbalance in the mind, body, and spirit, and then crafting unique holistic healing strategies. These include individualized lifestyle, yoga, and nutrition plans, asking and answering important questions, and performing her poemdances aimed at healing people all over the world.

Having met her personally and feeling inspired by her vibrancy, wisdom, and holistic approach to health and life, I asked Dr. Johnson how her she uses her journal to take care of herself—in other words, to stay on top of her game.

Here is what she replied:

“I’ve kept a journal since I was 12. Back then I called it a diary and it was filled with the sketchings and daydreams of a tween girl. The journal transformed as I got older to a “notebook” after reading Joan Didion’s words about the subject, and the pages became more an interesting blend of creative ideas, quotes I loved, accounts of places I’d been, a little fact or number to remember, and outbursts of the heart. Still later through self work and healing, I started incorporating the practice of Morning Pages from Julia Cameron into my journal.

What one calls it, is simply semantics to me— diary/notebook/journal. It is the practice for me of writing daily, into bound sheets of paper, and most importantly to me, authentically and without initial edits, that I have found incredibly powerful. Powerful for reaching “the top of my game” and then finding a new “top.””

She went even further and explained how this works in practice:

“My journaling stokes and nurtures self awareness, self acceptance and love. When I give myself permission daily to take the time and write out what’s on my heart, I first practice listening to what I feel, secondly deepening self love by prioritizing time for me to express what I feel, again without edits and thus, with less judgment.

I also use journaling as a way of staying accountable to my intentions. My notebook/journal/diary daily holds amidst pages of poetry and dance rehearsal notes and budget figures, a daily writing of how I’m doing with the things I’ve said are important to me. And that is a potent support to wombifesting what I’d like to create on a daily basis.

And letting go. I burn or tear then recycle the pages of my journal every couple months. I accumulated journals for years before I did a huge “puja” releasing those journals. What I do now is every season, I go through completed journals, cull what I want from them, transcribing them into poems, articles, and then I release the journal. It is a wonderful practice for me that not just fits into my minimalist lifestyle but helps remind me of our every changing natures, the beauty of a clean slate, and the importance of letting go.”—Dr. Tumi Johnson, M.D.

What can we learn from Dr. Tumi Johnson’s journaling practice?

Journaling can be a great way to cultivate self-acceptance and reflection, but at the same time manifesting the reality you want to live by keeping yourself accountable. Also, you don’t have to keep all your journals: burning them or letting go can be an incredibly healing and liberating practice.

Check out Dr. Tumi Johnson’s book Delicious Healing , where she combines science-based advice with art, so as to “motivate and transform in a way that just the facts never can”.

11. Sean Ogle

A few years ago, Sean was working as a financial analyst. That meant great pay, great prestige, and great views from his office… sounds great, right?

But Sean realized that this was not the lifestyle he wanted. What he wanted was to travel the world and work on his own business. So he quit, and started a project that later became Location Rebel —an online community for people who want to become location-independent freelancers or entrepreneurs.

Location Rebel has been a huge source of inspiration and information for me and my partner since we first started blogging and traveling as a lifestyle. As I have always admired Sean’s work, lifestyle, and ideas, I decided to ask him about his journaling practice. Here’s his reply:

“So I’ve never been much of one for a physical journal, as much as I wish that I were! However I do keep a bit of journal in Evernote. I keep a list of things I do throughout the day and who I do them with. For instance, gym sessions, movies seen or books read, quality time with different people, and so on.

I also rate my days 1-10 for social, fitness, diet, productivity, and general well being. And at the end of each month I take averages for each section and try to improve each month.

It’d be a great thing to do with a journal, but I’ve found that between my phone and laptop it’s easier for me to stay on top of doing it.”—Sean Ogle

What can we learn from Sean’s journaling practice?

Journaling is a great tool for gathering and measuring data from your everyday life, which you can then use to solve problems, plan, and re-evaluate your future choices.

Journaling will inevitably lead you to connect with your heart’s deepest desires. If that happens to be living in your own terms and working from anywhere, but you don’t know where to start, Location Rebel Academy might be the place for you.

12. Martina Rando

Martina, a certified Hatha and Vinyasa yoga teacher, has one of the most honest, authentic, and sensible Instagram accounts I’ve ever stumbled upon.

Apart from sharing yoga tips and teachings with her 300k+ Instagram followers, she also spreads important messages about self-acceptance, body positivity, healthy relationships and living a balanced life in general.

Feeling inspired by her vulnerability and openness, and curious about how she manages such a busy life (her life is divided between London, Milan, and her frequent travels to teach yoga all around the world), I decided to ask her about her journaling practice.

How does Martina use her journal to stay on top of her game? Here’s her answer:

“As a child and young girl I always had the habit of keeping a journal. I’ve never been big on sharing my emotions and feelings, so having a journal where I could open my heart and “let go” was a great way to unwind and get bad feelings out of my system.

Somehow growing up I lost that habit. Recently, since I’ve started reading more self-help books and reintroducing meditation into my habits, I’ve found how much integrating journaling into my daily routine can be helpful. Above all, I can totally see the difference between the periods I take time for it and the ones I don’t.

Journaling for me is a way to have a more clear view of what is in my head and heart, it helps me to understand myself better, to “discover” more about myself, it keeps me motivated, inspired and grounded at the same time.

I like to write my journal in a very simple way, with inputs. Sometimes, if I’m feeling discouraged, I make a list of the things I’m grateful for or some other times I ask myself a question like “what is forgiveness to you?” and try to honestly reply and meditate about that topic; some other times I write down a quote, or even just a word, that I find inspirational or that makes me think, and I start from there.”—Martina Rando

What can we learn from Martina’s journaling practice?

Journaling is a powerful self-care tool to help you unwind, open up, and stay grounded. You can also use it for motivation, and to discover yourself by asking and answering questions about big topics in your life.

13. Ryder Carroll

Diagnosed with learning disabilities early in life, Ryder Carroll worked hard to figure out an alternate to be focused and productive. Luckily for many people, his efforts were successful, as he ended up creating the Bullet Journal method .

Bullet Journaling goes far beyond simple organization: according to Ryder, it’s all about “the art of intentional living”. And the truth is, there are thousands of people using Bullet Journaling for anxiety management, planning, goal setting, and much more.

So what does the father of BuJo journal about? How does his journal help him stay on top of his game? Here is his answer to my question:

“I used to use my notebook purely for productivity. Because it forced me to go offline, it would allow me some undistracted time to focus and think about all the things I was tasking myself with. This would allow me to re-engage in a much more focused way when I did go online. Though productivity still remains a major function of my journal, the focus has shifted. I use my journal primarily to stay clear on why I’m doing what I’m doing. My journal is a paper mirror. It reflects not what I have to do, rather it shows me what I’m allowing into my life. Empty responsibilities tend to creep into our lives when we’re not paying attention. This results in investing a lot of time and energy into things don’t add value to our life. When what you’re doing feels meaningless, it’s hard to stay motivated. When you know why you’re doing what you’re doing, it gives you a sense of purpose. My journal helps me stay at the top of my game by cultivating my sense of purpose, and helping keep my actions aligned with my beliefs.”—Ryder Carroll

What can we learn from Ryder’s journaling practice?

Your journal is a reflection of your life and inner world. You can use it to observe what you are currently allowing in your life, so that you can invest your time and energy into actions that are fully aligned with your beliefs.

Do you want to learn more about bullet journaling? Check out Ryder’s book, The Bullet Journal Method: Track Your Past, Order Your Present, Plan Your Future .

14. Kerry Wekelo

Kerry Wekelo is the Chief Operating Officer at Actualize Consulting , the founder of Zendoway , and the author of Culture Infusion: 9 Principles for Creating and Maintaining a Thriving Organizational Culture .

In her leadership, Kerry blends her experiences as an executive coach, consultant, award-winning author, mindfulness expert, and entrepreneur. She has also authored multiple children’s books, and she has been featured on publications such as The New York Times, Thrive Global, and Corporate Wellness Magazine.

What’s her secret to doing all of this—while also being a mom, a speaker, and, as Lori Lite from StressFreeKids:target=”_blank”} describes her, an “incredibly positive person”?

Apparently, her journal plays a big part in her success. When I asked her how she uses her journal to stay on top of her game, here’s what she replied:

“The daily consistency of writing in my journal has helped me to focus my energy on what I know serves myself and others best. After 3 years of writing in my journal consistently and seeing the year’s previous entry, I am seeing the power of even just one line a day. I see patterns, celebrate progress, and notice the impact of my affirmations. It is a reminder when I see how over the years, the clearer I am with my intentions, the more they come true. For instance, I entered a contest with Hay House, I wrote almost daily for over a month that I was going to win, and I did!”—Kerry Wekelo

What can we learn from Kerry’s journaling practice?

Even journaling as little as one line a day can help you identify important patterns in your life. If you use it correctly, your journal can be a powerful tool to make your intentions come true (affirmations are especially effective for that).

Now that you got inspired… It’s time to journal!

Ready to take your journaling practice to the next level?

Here are a few questions to help you make the best out of this article and start/improve your own journaling practice:

Which ideas in this article did I resonate with the most and why?
In what ways can they contribute to my own journaling practice?
How will I put these ideas into practice?

If you want to learn more about how to build an effective, effortless, and intuitive journaling practice adapted to your own goals and needs, check out our article Journal Writing for Intelligent People: The Ultimate Guide .

If you have any questions, or if you want to share about your own journaling tips and tricks with us, please let us know in the comments!

Journal Writing for Intelligent People – The Ultimate Guide

2019-07-03T00:00:00+00:00

There are thousands of different ways to journal, but if you want this practice to radically improve your life, you need to do it in a way that is right for you.

That’s what I call intelligent journal writing: when you adapt your practice to meet your unique needs and personality, journaling becomes effective, intuitive, and effortless.

So how does one journal intelligently?

Mastering the art of journal writing is the same as mastering any other skill: the most effective way to do it is to understand how it works on a fundamental level, avoid common pitfalls, and learn from the masters. There’s a good reason why books such as Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferriss are bestsellers and why mental models are so effective.

Once you have the knowledge, you’re ready to choose a strategy that is optimal for you.

With that in mind, this article will show you some powerful journaling examples and principles, and then help you design a journaling practice that is perfectly in tune with who you are and what you need.

Ready? Let’s dive in.

Intelligent Journal Writing: How It Works

The quality of your life is directly connected to the questions you are willing to ask.

Better questions lead to better answers. Better answers lead to better actions. Better actions lead to better outcomes (Ask Better Questions by Team Tony Robbins).

Your journal is a great to help you put that to practice.

Journaling is like a regular Q&A with yourself where you use cues to unlock insights and trigger specific behaviours. These cues can be questions, images, or daily actions, and their sole function is to prompt you to take effective action.

For example:

When I see a question in my journal, I will reflect on the answer.
When I see my habit tracker, I will track my performance.
When I wake up, I will write in my journal for ten minutes.

In a nutshell, journaling is a simple script: When {cue}, I will {action}.

Do you see what this means?

Your journal allows you to shape your life at will in any way you desire. All you need to do is to create intelligent cues.

How?

Let’s start with how not to do it by avoiding two common pitfalls: lack of consistency, and not going deep enough.

Common Journaling Pitfall #1: Lack of Consistency

Unless you make journaling a habit, you are unlikely to feel its benefits.

It’s actually quite funny: we all know that consistency is crucial, yet that’s where most of us fail (starting with me).

So how to make journaling a daily habit, even if you totally suck at habit building?

The short answer is to start simple.

In other words: don’t overcomplicate or overcommit. If all you have is five daily minutes, don’t commit to writing twenty pages of finished prose while also filling in your daily spread, evening reflection, and tomorrow’s to-do lists.

Instead, stick with the few essential things that you need. Keeping it simple (at least in the beginning) will make your journaling practice:

Effective—seeing quick results will keep you motivated;
Intuitive—less clutter will give your mind more freedom;
Effortless—less resistance will make the habit more appealing.

In a moment, we’ll dive into some simple yet powerful journaling exercises you can use.

But for now, let’s address the second journaling pitfall:

Common Journaling Pitfall #2: Not Going Deep Enough

Consistency alone is not enough.

In order to harness the full potential of your journaling practice, you need to journal in a way that engages both your conscious and your subconscious mind.

Let’s imagine you decide to build the habit of exercising every day for thirty minutes.

Tracking your workouts in your habit tracker is a great way to create accountability, and it’s a great start to build consistency.

However, when obstacles surface (getting distracted, losing motivation, feeling confused), you need to shift your focus to look for the root of your problems, and find solutions.

In this specific example, this could mean cuing your subconscious to look for less obvious information with questions such as:

Why do you want to exercise in the first place
How do you feel before/during/after workouts?
What keeps you from doing it?
What kind of exercise feels the most effortless for you to do?

This exercise can bring you the clarity you need to solve problems you didn’t even know existed.

You might realize that going to sleep at 2 am is a sure way not to exercise the following day. Or maybe you’ll notice that exercising makes you feel confident and absolutely unstoppable, and your motivation spikes. Perhaps, as you look through your week, you’ll notice that calisthenic exercise feels too aggressive on your body and you’d rather do yoga instead.

Directed prompts engage your conscious mind to work with information you already have (such as tracking the type and duration of your workouts).

Indirect prompts allow you to search your subconscious mind for the root of your problems, and find solutions to solve them (such as asking questions about things that are holding you back).

Based on your insights, you can tweak your exercise plan, and then watch with pride how you progress and overcome your own expectations.

Not only can you engage your subconscious mind to unlock hidden information, but you can also use your conscious mind to turn that information into practical solutions.

Here’s a second example:

Let’s imagine that you have been feeling demotivated for a while.

You decide to start digging up your worries from the depths of your subconscious and into the light of your conscious awareness by writing them down first thing in the morning.

This is a great way to get some relief and clarity, but you can take it a step further by consciously reviewing that information, looking for relevant patterns, and devising strategies to address them.

Perhaps you might notice that you always feel sad in the evenings, and you need to design a new evening routine, or make a list of things you feel grateful for.

Maybe you’ll notice how conversations with your father always trigger anxiety that lasts for a few days—and you might want to redesign your family time, write your father a letter, or create mechanisms to help you better process your emotions.

Remember:

The better you know yourself, the better cues you can create, and consequently—the better your results will be. In order for that to happen, you might need to go deeper than just doodling and writing down to-do lists in your journal—you need to fully embrace the depths of the full spectrum of your consciousness.

And if that sounds complicated, don’t worry: the steps we’re about to explore will keep the basics covered.

4 Principles From the Journals of the Brightest Minds Throughout History

Journaling has been around for over 2000 years (to learn more about the history of journaling, read those two articles: The Astonishing History of Journaling by Michele Swensen and History of Journaling published on Inbreathe.

That is why, instead of reinventing the wheel for the sake of it, we can look at how some of the most incredible people in history used their journals, and piggyback on their lessons and tips.

Without further ado, allow me to introduce you to four journaling mentors and the principles that they applied to make their journaling writing powerful and effective. I hope you’ll be as inspired by them as I was—and revolutionize the way you put your thoughts and life to paper.

Leonardo DaVinci: Let Your Mind Flow

The Codex Leicester by Leonardo Da Vinci. Source: Wikipedia.

Leonardo didn’t care much for structure.

One idea sparked another, and Da Vinci kept on jumping freely between them in an unrestricted creative flow.

As a result, his journals combine an impressive number of inventions, designs, observations and discoveries (eg. a helicopter and a full dissection of human anatomy) Here’s a list of some of Da Vinci’s inventions. And that was five hundred years ago!

Here’s the video compressing the magic of Leonardo’s journals into one minute.

What can we learn from this?

Da Vinci’s mind was brilliant.

And so is yours.

Therefore never stop yourself from journaling whatever is on your mind and in whichever way you feel like.

Think of it as a blank canvas for unrestricted flow of your mind. It doesn’t have to be linear. It doesn’t have to be text. And even if it is, it doesn’t have to be horizontal.

The Codex Arundel by Leonardo Da Vinci. Source: kottke.org.

You can doodle even if your drawing skills are embarrassing. You can tear paper off. You can write backward, or not write at all and instead draw what’s on your mind. The key is to give yourself permission to experiment.

The Codex Leicester by Leonardo Da Vinci. Source: V&A.

Remember:

You can’t journal wrong.

The more intuitive journaling is for you, the more pleasant it will be, which in turn will make you more consistent, which will help you make it even more intuitive.

And who knows?

Your brain might even spark some incredible ideas in the process.

Note: I highly recommend looking through Da Vinci’s journals. You can access the scans for free on this website, and here’s the transcript in English.

Frida Kahlo: Paper Will Take Anything

Frida’s diary. Source: hagitaz.

If you ever feared to face what might come out of your head when you journal, think about Frida Kahlo.

From an early age, her life consisted of pretty much constant suffering, physical and emotional, which was reflected in her unique and powerful art.

And she wasn’t afraid to put it on paper.

Frida covered her journal with drawings and writings expressing her suffering, pouring all of her feelings onto its pages without any restrictions whatsoever. Have A Peek at Frida Kahlo’s Diary, published by Museo Dolores Olmedo.

Here’s how it looks like:

Why did she do that?

For one simple reason:

Cathartic release.

Channeling your feelings, thoughts and realizations, no matter how painful and/or embarrassing is a powerful healing process that leads to purification This article by Amber Lea Starfire explains more about the cathartic release. The entry on Wikipedia is also good to look at.

It’s like sharing your deepest worries with your closest and most trusted friend. No matter how difficult it might be, the act of “venting” will make you feel lighter.

Frida’s diary. Source: hagitaz.[/caption]

Bottom line:

Paper will take anything. Use it to share your burdens.

Note: If you feel like digging deeper, have a look at Frida’s diaries and/or her handwritten letters.

Benjamin Franklin: Systems Beat Willpower

Benjamin Franklin’s Autobiography with his daily routine on the bottom left. Source: University of Pennsylvania Libraries.

Here’s a hard truth:

No matter how desirable your goal is, your motivation won’t last forever. To keep moving forward, you need to accommodate for your bad days and low instincts.

The best way to do that is by putting in place effective routines and systems.

And guess who’s going to be your best ally for that? You guessed right: your journal.

Benjamin Franklin had an ambitious life goal: the attainment of moral perfection.

To make sure he kept progressing towards his goal, he followed a simple two-step journaling routine:

Each morning, he’d answer one question in his journal: What good will I do today? And then, in the evening, he’d reflect and check whether he did it, or not.
Each evening, he’d track whether he violated any of the thirteen virtues he defined for himself. Benjamin Franklin’s 13 Virtues: temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity and humility. Read more: Lessons In Manliness: Benjamin Franklin’s Pursuit of the Virtuous Life by Brett and Kate McKay.

Have a look at Franklin’s daily routine; it’s quite impressive:

This doesn’t mean you need to obsess about structuring every aspect of your life. However, you can definitely make it easier for yourself to reach your goals by creating a simple, stable, and effective journaling system.

Remember:

It’s not about achieving perfection. It’s about giving it your best shot every single day.

Note: You might want to read Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography. The way he went about his life is truly remarkable.

Marcus Aurelius: Ask Big Questions and Dive Deep

Let’s rewind a little bit.

As we discussed before, the quality of your life is directly connected to the quality of the questions you ask.

To illustrate:

Pondering the weather, traffic or some random Instagram post is unlikely to bring you any life-changing insights.

On the other hand, reflecting on your biggest flaws or what makes you feel really alive might significantly expand your understanding of yourself. You can then act upon this knowledge and improve your life.

The key is to go deep by asking important questions.

Marcus Aurelius, the emperor of Rome and the most powerful man of his time kept a journal in which he reflected on the deepest questions and problems he was facing.

The record of his thoughts, later on published as “Meditations”, remains one of the most influential philosophy books of all times, including practical life advice still relevant almost 2000 years after it was written. Here’s a great article about Meditations by Ryan Holiday.

Here’s a short video summary, exploring some of the ideas from his journal:

Here’s the deal:

Whenever you feel stuck, either with your life or your journaling practice, simply ask a big question and reflect on it. Chances are you might learn something about yourself that will literally change everything.

If you could use some inspiration, here’s a list of some of my favourite questions.

Let’s sum up what we’ve learned from these four journaling geniuses of the past:

Let your mind flow: There’s no wrong way to journal. Allow yourself to flow freely to spark new ideas and insights.
Paper will take anything: Share your burdens with your journal for cathartic release. You will feel lighter.
Systems beat willpower: Motivation doesn’t last forever. Make it easier for yourself by creating systems and routines that will keep you on track.
Ask big questions and dive deep.

Once you’ve internalized those four principles, you’re ready for the next step: creating your own journaling routine.

6 Journaling Tools to Start With (And Why They’re More Than Enough)

Just like the process of building a house, your journaling practice will be much more effective if you use the right set of tools.

Think about it:

Chainsaws are great for cutting wood, but not so much for putting nails in the wall or measuring distances.

While there is a great number of journaling exercises and methodologies you can play with, the truth is you won’t have time for all of them. That’s why I suggest starting with up to three tools that feel the most in tune with you.

And if you ever feel like scaling up—you can always add more.

With that in mind, I’ll show you my six favorite journaling tools, which you can use for:

getting valuable insights,
setting goals and staying on track,
mapping out your life journey,
accessing your subconscious,
bringing more play to your journaling practice,
unlocking yourself whenever you feel stuck.

Feel free to adapt the following tools in any way to suit you. And if you feel like you could use some more, just check out the resources at the end of this article.

Morning Pages

Purpose

“Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand.” – Julia Cameron (creator of Morning Pages).

Time Required

15-30 minutes every day.

Instructions

Write three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, first thing in the morning.

Note: feel free to pick a different target, such as twenty minutes or two pages.

Here’s a short overview of the process:

Learn more about Morning Pages on Julia Cameron’s website.

The 5-Bullet-Log

Purpose

Increase self-awareness and learn more from life.

Time Required

5-10 minutes every day.

Instructions

Every day in the evening, write down (up to) five concise answers to the following question:

What could I write about today that my future self would benefit from reading?

Here are some ideas of what to track:

Creative ideas
Big wins
Cues and signs
Big lessons and questions
Actions and experiments

Learn more about how to set up your own 5-bullet-log in this amazing article by Silvia Bastos: The 5-Bullet-Log: A Note-Taking System to Increase Self-Awareness and Learn More From Life, or listen to the podcast where she explains how it works.

Infinity Squares (aka Minimalist Journaling System)

Purpose

Get an overview of your life and build habits that last.

Time Required

5 minutes every day.

Instructions

Start with drawing a page full of squares (eg. 30). Each square represents one day of your life.

Then answer the following question:

What is the one habit that I can start doing tomorrow, that would be the most effective first step towards my goal?

The last thing to do is to pick a symbol for that habit and start tracking it every day.

You can easily scale it up to track numerous habits, but also your mood, health, productivity as well as non-quantifiable data, such as your daily memory (what would I like to remember from today?). All within a clean and simple minimalist interface.

The benefit?

You can see your life at a glance.

Here is an example of how to use the Infinity Squares:

And here’s the Starter Kit if you want to give it a go.

Alternatively, read more about it in my article Minimalist Journaling: A Fun and Effective Tool for Tremendous Habit Change.

Focus Funnel

Purpose

Get what matters done every time.

Time Required

15 minutes every week.

Instructions

Every week, define your goal (or goals—although, remember that often less is more!) and the milestone you are working towards.

Note: Milestones are useful to break down a huge goal (eg. building a $1M business, write a book) into smaller, actionable chunks. For smaller goals, you might disregard milestones. Do whatever feels more intuitive.

Then, write down up to three High Impact Actions. They should be:

100% within your control (something you can actually do);
Habitual (actions you can do every day);
Highly predictive of your success (that is, if you do those things, you are most likely to achieve your goal/milestone).

Here’s the most important part:

Make sure you revisit your Focus Funnel regularly (eg. before starting to work and when scheduling your next day), to make sure that you know exactly what to do and why you are doing it.

Remember: if you’re engaging in something that is not your High Impact Action, then you are likely procrastinating.

This system works extremely well together with the Minimalist Journaling System. Here’s an article I wrote on how to combine the two and beat procrastination forever.

Turn the Journal

Purpose

Add a creative boost to your journal, even if you’re not creative at all.

Time Required

1 second.

Instructions

Whenever you feel like it, turn your journal and keep on writing.

Don’t get me wrong: horizontal writing is just fine; however, you might be surprised how much what you write will change when you change how you write.

Give it a try!

Note: You might also want to experiment with writing in circles, playing with colors, writing backward, or anything else that you come up with.

Journaling Prompts

Purpose

Get valuable insights every day.

Time Required

5-10 minutes every day.

Instructions

Pick a journaling prompt and reflect on it.

It can be a question, a drawing to complete, a quote to reflect upon, a memory from your life to think about… Anything goes.

You can find them online, or create your own, and then either pick one at random or select one that feels right.

Implement Your Strategy and Start Journaling

So, how can you turn everything you just read into an actionable journaling process that will actually happen and bring you results?

It’s quite simple: avoid the pitfalls (be consistent and go deep); keep in mind the teachings from the masters; and pick your favorite journaling tools (again—to start, I recommend up to three).

Then, all you need to do is make journaling a part of your routine, and keep perfecting your practice.

Here’s how:

1. Journal Every Day

That’s the most important thing: create space in your life to allow your new journaling practice to bring you the benefits you desire.

Reflect on how much time can you dedicate to journaling, and when that will happen (the more you define a habit, the more likely you are to keep it).

For example: 30 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes before sleep. Any amount of time will do (even 10 minutes).

Once you have that figured out, simply start journaling. You don’t need anything apart from a pen, a journal (any notebook will do) and the four journaling principles you already know:

Let your mind flow
Paper will take anything
Systems beat willpower
Ask big questions

2. Review & Optimize

It might be obvious, but I’ll say it anyway:

To make the best out of your journal, you need to actually look through what you wrote.

Set aside some time at regular intervals (for example, 30 minutes every week) to simply flip through your journal and reflect on your insights and adjust the course of your life.

Reviewing what you wrote will give you a chance to constantly perfect and adapt your practice. After reviewing your recently used journaling tools, ask yourself:

How could I improve my journaling practice so it’s even more effective and in alignment with my needs?

Then, make any changes you see fit: modify the design, combine several tools into one, adjust your journaling routine… Whatever makes it better for you.

Remember:

Better journaling leads to better insights. Better insights lead to better actions. Better actions lead to a better life.

That’s why journaling is a game worth playing intelligently.

Frequently Asked Questions

Should I use a digital or analog journal?

Both analog and digital journaling have benefits and it really depends on which one you prefer.

Personally, I love analog journaling. Here are the reasons (which paradoxically lots of people consider as disadvantages):

it’s uneditable (which keeps me accountable to what I’ve written);
it’s limited with space (which forces me to filter what’s important);
It’s slower (which puts me in a meditative state and sharpens my focus).

However, the biggest reason is that paper journaling is an off-screen activity, which to me is a huge advantage since it cuts down the time I’m spending in front of my devices.

Finally, it feels much easier to customize my journaling systems and design on paper. Also, there are no bugs to fix and no ads to block.

On the other hand, digital journaling comes with the advantage of keyword-based search, cool templates, and automatically calculating data that can be used to generate stats, graphs, and reports. That’s absolutely awesome, and if you can’t live without those features, then digital journaling is for you.

I’ve included some of my favorite journaling apps in the resources at the end of this article.

How to journal for a specific goal?

Use what I call the “Focus Funnel”. It’s super simple and it works like a charm:

Write down your goal.
If it feels too overwhelming, break it down into milestones and define the closest one.
Define up to three High Impact Actions, which will bring you to your goal/milestone.
Engage in all of them every day (habits are key) and track your performance.

Here’s the article that will guide you through the process. And this article will show you how to stay focused without getting derailed.

What’s the difference between a diary, a journal, and a bullet journal (and which one should I pick)?

Let’s get technical.

A diary is a written record of events in your life, while a journal can also contain your thoughts, insights, observations, goals and much, much more.

Most commonly, journaling is a text-based practice, however, there’s nothing to stop you from using drawings, stickers, complex graphs, and whatever else floats your boat.

Bullet Journaling (BuJo) is a journaling method created by Ryder Caroll, which uses bullet points as the core structure. Here’s a very clear overview of bullet journaling. You can also look at #bujo on Instagram to get the idea.

Ok, I get it. Which one should I pick?

To be perfectly honest, it doesn’t really matter.

Wait, what?

Well, all three can overlap and enrich each other. In fact, my own journaling practice started as a diary and kept evolving until today, when it combines the elements of all three.

With that in mind, pick whichever practice you feel most attracted to and keep optimizing it until it’s fully in alignment with you.

What is the best notebook for journaling?

This is a highly subjective opinion, but for both my partner and me there is no match to Leuchtturm1917 A5 with blank pages.

Why blank pages?

Because they are the least restrictive.

My handwriting is terrible and I can’t draw. Any help?

Sure. Just look at my drawing skills:

Remember: It really doesn’t matter if you can’t draw. If you feel like it, then do it. It’s your journal. You don’t need to showcase it on Instagram.

However, it might help to make sure you can understand what you wrote, unless the whole point is to never come back to it.

How do I write my first journaling entry?

Just… open the journal and start writing?

I’m kidding. But seriously, how about writing the date and the number of the current day in your life (you can calculate it here)? You’ll get a bigger picture straight away and perhaps some ideas to journal about.

You can also answer the following questions:

(If it’s morning)

How can I make today absolutely amazing?

(If it’s evening)

What would my future self want to remember from today?

Another idea is to reflect on:

How you feel right now (feelings and needs vocabulary might be helpful).
The most meaningful interactions you’ve had.
What makes you feel really alive.

The Final Piece To Make It All Work

A tricky question for you:

Do you remember the necessary ingredients for mastering any skill?

Here they are:

Know the principles
Avoid the pitfalls
Learn from the masters
Have a strategy

But there’s actually one more component, without which none of the above matter.

And deep down you know exactly what it is:

It’s taking the first step.

No guide (no matter how ultimate) can do that for you.

So start journaling today, review it regularly and optimize your practice with all you have learned today. You can totally do this.

And if you ever run into a wall, or feel like you could benefit from asking a few questions, then simply drop me a message. I get back to everyone.

Resources

The last thing to do is to browse through resources.

Even More Journaling Tools

41 Powerful Journaling Exercises for Mind Expansion and Effective Behavior Change by Michal Korzonek
How To Clear Your Busy Mind With a Brain Dump (+ Bullet Journal Brain Dump Examples) by Silvia Bastos
Cognitive Journaling: A Systematic Method to Overcome Negative Beliefs by Richard Ragnarson
Replace Your To-Do List With Interstitial Journaling To Increase Productivity by Tony Stubblebine
Minimalist Journaling: A Fun and Effective Tool for Tremendous Habit Change by Michal Korzonek
The 5-Bullet-Log: A Note-Taking System to Increase Self-Awareness and Learn More From Life by Silvia Bastos
U-Journaling Practice by Otto Scharmer
The Ultimate Guide for Learning to Art Journal by Cathy Hutchison
Why Asking Deep Questions In The Evening Might Hold the Key To Your Problems by Silvia Bastos
How To Write In Your Journal To Improve Yourself and Achieve Your Goals by Benjamin Hardy
10 Tips for Mindful Writing and Meditative Journaling by S.J. Scott
Dream Journaling: The Ultimate Guide to Unlock Your Hidden Creativity by Silvia Bastos
How to Finally Stop Procrastinating With 1 Simple Journaling Methodology by Michal Korzonek
Journaling Techniques to Master Balance and Grow Faster by Silvia Bastos
How to Create Sketchnotes (with no artistic ability at all) by Cathy Hutchison

Amazing Articles about Journaling

Benefits of a daily diary and topic journals by Derek Sivers
What My Morning Journal Looks Like by Tim Ferriss
How These 14 Incredible People Use Their Journal to Stay On Top of Their Game by Silvia Bastos
This Is The Most Important Thing You Can Do Each Morning by Ryan Holiday
The Astonishing History of Journaling by Michele Swensen
Keeping a Diary in China: Memories for the Future by Sang Ye
History of Journaling by Inbreathe
8 famous visionaries who kept a journal by Michael d’Estries
The Power of the Pen: How to Boost Happiness, Health, and Productivity by Adam Grant
11 Journaling Tips For People Who Are Absolutely Terrible At Keeping A Journal by Charlotte Ahlin
I Tried Bullet Journaling To See What The Hype Is Actually About by Jasmin Nahar
The Benefits of Journaling for Stress Management by Elizabeth Scott
Why Journaling Makes Better Leaders by Bruce Rhoades
Advanced Journaling by Matt Pierson

Journaling Apps

Jour (iOS)
Stoic App (iOS)
Journey (iOS, Android, macOS, Windows, Linux)
Evernote (iOS, Android, macOS, Windows)
Paper (iOS)
Bear (iOS)
Mood Notes (iOS)
Momento {:target=”_blank”}(iOS)
Glimpses (Windows for now. iOS and Android in development)
Day One App (iOS, Android, macOS)

And if you want some more:

The 10 Best Journaling Apps for 2019by Melanie Pinola
The 14 Best Mood Tracker Apps for 2019 by S.J. Scott

Journaling Videos You Could Watch

How to Journal for Self-Growth

How to Journal Every Day for Increased Productivity, Clarity, and Mental Health

The Journaling Exercise That Can Change Your Life

Why Interstitial Journaling is the cutting edge of mindfulness

How Gratitude Works, and How to Master It With a Gratitude Journal

2019-06-04T00:00:00+00:00

“Life’s not only black and white”, they say.

But just for a moment, let’s imagine it is.

Imagine that dark are all the things that cause you unpleasant emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, fear, and pain. This usually includes things like conflict in relationships, financial instability, or even lacking purpose in life.

White are the things that make you feel pleasant emotions such as joy, excitement, peace, and fulfilment. For most people, this involves stuff like getting promoted, falling in love, completing a big project, or going on a holiday.

The problem is, most people have what psychologists call a negativity bias. This means that, for most of us, on a black and white scale, life looks more or less like one of the following images:

In other words, it takes very little for us to see the black spots (the queue that moves too slow, the driver that goes too fast, the rude lady at the market, the weather); however, we take most good things for granted and we rarely notice them (if you hear a hundred compliments and one piece of negative feedback, guess where your attention will go?)

Now imagine gratitude like a pair of special glasses that allows us to reshape the way we see life. Let’s call them the Gratitude Glasses (GG).

The Gratitude Glasses help us see the white bits again, so we can slowly understand that life is not actually so dark, but instead a beautiful mix of emotional shades that bring depth to our existence.

I thought I was happy, but then I started practicing gratitude and realized I didn’t really know what happiness was before. Therefore, here’s my conclusion: not only is gratitude beneficial, it’s a necessary condition for a happy life, and a skill to be learned. As benedictine monk David Steindl-Rast said, “Happiness does not lead to gratitude. Gratitude leads to happiness.”

Gratitude Journaling

Keeping a gratitude journal is probably one of the most popular self-help practices out there, but sadly the term “gratitude” is so overused and sticky with woo that many people disregard it before even trying it. Others give up because they see no effects.

This is what happened to me… until I started getting how it works.

Think about your gratitude journal as a tiny friend that reminds you to wear your Gratitude Glasses. He also makes them look prettier, lighter, and easier to wear. His job is extremely important, because consistency and enjoyment are necessary to shift to an appreciation-based mentality.

There is no right or wrong way to keep a gratitude journal, but there are a few crazy-powerful exercises and principles that really rocked my world—and my negative bias. I hope they’ll change your life too.

1. Don’t confuse gratitude with positive thinking

I feel some aversion to the words motivation and positivity, because they often bring up assumptions that happiness is the absence (or denial) of challenges and problems. Seeing a completely white painting of life is as dangerous and delusional as seeing only the darkness, and it often leads to irresponsible and misinformed decisions.

This is not what gratitude it. Gratitude is not denial or escapism: it’s realizing that wherever there is black, there is also white, and happiness lies in the balance between them. The Gratitude Glasses don’t make the darkness go away, nor do they replace it with light: they just teach us to see both shades for what they are — transient, subjective, complementary — and appreciate the beauty in the contrast.

Let’s say your close family member just died. That’s really sad and painful. You should honor those challenging emotions, feel them, and take time to grieve. But then use gratitude to see the other side of the coin. Appreciate the good times you spent together, the invaluable time you still have with other loved ones, and how lucky you are to be alive.

I don’t believe there is such a thing as “too much gratitude”. Unlike what many people think, gratitude doesn’t take away your strength. You don’t need anger to engage in positive action — if you’re like me, anger will never inspire you as much as gratitude when it comes to helping others or changing the world.

When times are hard, use your gratitude journal as a reality check. Any fully-black or fully-white picture is a lie. Don’t deny what’s happening: always look at both sides of it, and appreciate the contrast.

2. Practice six levels of gratitude

In his book Thanks a Thousand, AJ Jacobs tells the story of how he went around the world thanking everyone responsible for making his morning cup of coffee (from the farmers to the truck drivers to the guy who made the company’s logo), and how allowing himself to go down the rabbit hole of gratitude improved not only the lives of those he thanked, but also his, for noticing the amount of things to be grateful for in such a simple thing as coffee.

Everything is connected, and once you start seeing that — once you pull at one single loose thread — you’ll see how much there is to be grateful for, even in the most challenging problems you’re facing.

You can use your gratitude journal to apply this principle and bring more gratitude to the challenging areas in your life. Whether for you it’s money, relationships, work, or finding purpose in life, allow yourself to go down the rabbit hole of gratitude by exploring the little happy things that exist in each of those areas. Once the white spots get exposed, the problem becomes simpler and much easier to handle.

3. Fight the numbness

When you journal every day about things you’re grateful for, it’s easy to fall for repetition, such as always writing “my family” or “my health” or “my cats”.

The problem with repetition is that causes habituation: you write down the words, but you eventually stop feeling the gratitude. It stops having a positive effect. It’s like wearing the glasses on your face but keeping your eyes closed.

In order for gratitude journaling to be effective, you need to feel it on a physical and emotional level. You need to actually see the whites, not just the phosphenes(*) on the inside of your eyelids.

Luckily, this is within your reach.

One way to stop the numbness and feel grateful with every journaling session is to focus on the contrast between dark and light, so that the light becomes stronger. You can do this by asking yourself:

“What do I have that others don’t?”

“What do I have today that I didn’t have before?”

Another way is to alternate the objects of your gratitude so you always have something new to write about. In one of his podcasts, Tim Ferriss suggests writing about each of the following four things in your gratitude journal:

A relationship — few things can bring us more genuine gratitude and joy than our loved ones;
An event from yesterday — something that happened yesterday that you feel grateful for;
An opportunity today — something you get to do today, no matter how small (like reading a book) or big (do meaningful work you love);
A small thing near you — like the sun on your skin, the roof above your head, or your comfortable chair.

4. Keep on wearing the glasses

For over ten years, Oprah wrote down, every single day, five things she felt grateful for. Then, somewhere along the way, things got busy, and she dropped the daily practice.

Suddenly, she says, she “stopped feeling the joy of simple moments”, and became “one of those people who never have time to feel delight”. But then, as soon as she realized this and got back to journaling, her show became more successful than ever and she was happier and fulfilled again.

If you want to cultivate a gratitude mentality, you need to put in the daily reps. If you suddenly stop wearing your glasses, it’s obvious that you’ll go back to seeing a blurry reality.

What (probably) happened to Oprah is what happens to most of us: we think that achievement is the way to happiness, so we get lost in busyness and doing, and we forget that if we don’t take time to appreciate our achievements, we’ll never be truly happy.

A gratitude journal is a great way to consistently and intentionally fight the negativity bias; but in order for that to happen, you need to make it a habit.

Here are a few tips to cultivate consistency:

Use a notebook and a pen that look good and feel good;
Keep reminding yourself of the ridiculous amount of scientifically proven benefits of gratitude;
Don’t make gratitude journaling into a chore: treat it as a pleasure, as something you get to do, as a treasured ritual.

The thing is, even if you do those things, sometimes it will be hard to stick with the habit. There are other things to do. You’re too busy. Too overwhelmed. If Oprah can struggle, so can you.

When those hard days hit me, there is one exercise that always works for me:

I simply express gratitude to myself as if I was someone else whose appreciation I crave (for example, a mentor, a parent, or a teacher).

Here is an example:

Whether I feel demotivated, anxious, overwhelmed, or just really low in self-esteem, this exercise always feels incredibly healing.

Receiving appreciation from other people can become an obsession because we never really take the time to give it to ourselves. This exercise is the perfect solution: it’s easier to acknowledge our achievements from an outsider’s perspective, but it feels so powerful because we are finally seeing it ourselves. So every once in a while, wear your gratitude glasses and look in the mirror. Appreciate yourself for who you are, and enjoy.

5. Don’t keep it all to yourself

According to Robert Emmons, a psychology professor at UC Davis, “Grateful living is possible only when we realize that other people and agents do things for us that we cannot do for ourselves.”

Keeping a journal is powerful, but if you just stay inside your own bubble, you are missing out on the most effective way to create happiness: making other people happy.

One of the best ways to make other people happy is to acknowledge the positive ways in which they have contributed to our happiness, and thanking them for it.

Very often, instead of just journaling about random things, I write thank you notes to specific people. This allows me to feel more positively towards them, and it also gives me a framework to go deeper into my gratitude work.

And then, whenever I feel like it, I copy those thank you notes into an email and hit send, or I read them out loud to that person. This has been one of the most transformational relationship practices I have ever tried: imagine receiving a deep, heartfelt, unexpected thank-you letter from someone you know. How would that impact your relationship?

But I set myself no obligation to share it. If I don’t feel like it, I just keep it in my journal. This no-pressure approach allows me to be fully open and vulnerable in my writing, and if I do end up sharing it, it’s raw and impactful.

Where to start?

Grab a notebook (either buy a new one or use your current journal), define a time every day, and start experimenting with the exercises above.

You might want to list five things every day, write thank you notes, explore a specific challenging topic, or follow Tim Ferriss’s four-step exercise — pick a practice you like, and make it a habit.

Life may not be actually black and white, but your state of mind and happiness do depend on where you choose to focus your attention. Keep wearing your gratitude glasses consistently and intentionally, and who knows — soon you might be able to see the rainbow.

A thank you note

Thank you AJ Jacobs for inspiring me with your work to write this article, and for your positive impact in the world. Everyone, I highly recommend you check AJ’s work at ajjacobs.com.

Thank you Tim Ferriss for your amazing exercise I included in this article, for sharing AJ Jacob’s work on the 4-Hour Workweek, and for being an overall inspiration in my work and life.

Thank you Oprah for quitting your gratitude journal, going back to it, and sharing the story.

Thank you everyone whose research I quoted, and whose ideas I have borrowed, knowingly or not, throughout my life, that in a way or another have led me to writing this.

And finally, thank you, dear reader, for reading this article. I really appreciate your time, your visit to this blog, and (hopefully — not trying to be cheeky) your email subscription.

41 Powerful Journaling Exercises for Mind Expansion and Effective Behavior Change

2019-05-18T00:00:00+00:00

Based on the work of some of the greatest world-class experts on productivity, complexity thinking, health and wellbeing, among others.

Note: pdf version of this article (along with many other goodies) available via our Patreon.

Do you feel stuck inside your own head? Do you crave change, but don’t know where to start?

What you need is a paradigm shift.

This article provides you with a list of journaling exercises based on tested tools by world-class experts and thought-leaders (from fields as diverse as health and fitness, habit-building, productivity, business, minimalism, and relationships—among others) that will help you get unlocked, see things differently, and start fresh.

Some of them were already exercises in their original form (such as Tim Ferriss’s ‘Fear-Setting’), and the other ones were adapted from principles and models (such as the ‘Quality/Quantity Trade-off’ or James Clear’s ‘Plateau of Latent Potential’) and turned into journaling practices that you can apply to your own experiences.

Some of them might change your life, and some might not be a good fit for you, but hopefully, each new experiment will unlock new insights and propel you further on your path.

How to use this article?

Every week, make a choice by asking yourself: “Which of the following categories can have the biggest impact in my life if I work on it this week?” (categories below)
Pick one of the items from the category you chose, and copy the correspondent spread into your journal.
Allow your mind to be infused with this exercise and apply it to your life throughout the following week. Some of them require filling in once; some of them are most helpful when reviewed every day and applied to different situations; and some others require specific action to be taken immediately. Whatever it is, keep it in your awareness, and observe the ways in which it affects your life.
Review at the end of the week and repeat this process with a different exercise.

Ready? Let’s do it.

I. Take a Step Back and Expand Your Perception

1. ‘Deeper Why’

Source: Benjamin Hardy

What about __ is important to me?_

[caption id=”” align=”alignnone” width=”1000”] All the images (journaling exercises) in this article were created by Silvia Bastos.[/caption]

In 2017, Benjamin Hardy published an article where he explains the importance of investigating your deepest why—the real reason why you want the things you want and do the things you do.

According to him, here’s why it’s important to know this:

Because clarity leads to motivation;
Because operating in alignment with your core values boosts your performance.

To find your deeper why, ask yourself: “What about ____ is important to me?”_

When you have the answer, go deeper and ask: “what about [answer] is important to me?” Repeat the process up to seven times until you reach the answer that most profoundly resonates with you.

Here’s an example:

[Thing I want:] A better job.

[Question:] What about having a better job is important to me?

[Thing I want:] Making more money.

[Question:] What about making more money is important to me?

[Thing I want:] Having less financial anxiety.

[Question:] What about having less financial anxiety is important to me?

[Thing I want:] Being more patient with my family.

[Question:] What about being more patient with my family is important to me?

[Thing I want:] To be loved and listened to.

Before you complete the exercise, make sure you read Benjamin Hardy’s article to know the deeper why of why you should do it in the first place: “How to Consistently Act From Your Deepest “Why” and Optimize Your Time”

2. Beginner’s Mind

Source: Zen Buddhism

An empty mind is ready for anything.

When it comes to problem solving, mainstream education usually reinforces a “_one answer to one problem”_ approach.

This gets you stuck in a functional fixedness bias, where you always look at problems from a familiar viewpoint—which hinders natural bursts of creativity. As Abraham Maslow once famously said, “When all you’ve got is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.”

The great news is, Scott Jeffrey wrote an amazing article where he offers four different exercises to access the beginner’s mind mindset, and consequently elevate your creative work and enhance your ability to learn.

How to use the spread in this section?

Choose one or more of the exercises in Scott Jeffrey’s article;
Copy the spread to your journal;
Apply your chosen exercises throughout this week;
Take notes on your spread.

To fully engage in a creative/learning process, let go of the ‘I know’ mentality, and approach the problem with a beginner’s mind—just as if you were seeing it for the very first time.

As Shunryu Suzuki points out: “If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.”

Read more about this: ‘How to Adopt a Beginner’s Mind to Accelerate Learning and Increase Creativity’ by Scott Jeffrey.

3. ‘Life Calendar’

Source: Tim Urban

“Am I making the most out of this week?”

[caption id=”” align=”alignnone” width=”1000”] The reason why this one looks different is that it’s way too complex (and big) to draw on your journal. I recommend buying the 24in x 36in calendar at Wait But Why—it’s big, it’s high-res, and it will last you a lifetime (which is kind of the purpose of it).[/caption]

Your time is very limited and therefore precious. If you live for 90 years, that gives you a total of 4680 weeks to live (and you’ve already spent a big chunk of that).

Tim Urban came up with this brilliant idea called the ‘Life Calendar’: a visual representation of your lifespan, where each week corresponds to one square.

Although it sounds simple, it’s super powerful: as you review and fill in a new square every week, you can feel time passing by. You realize you won’t live forever, which is great to keep you on track, enjoying each day, and pursuing your goals.

But the purpose is not simply to count weeks: you can use your calendar to make sure you are using each week in the most beneficial way possible. As you mark each week on your calendar, check whether your weekly activities:

Bring you enjoyment,
Improve your future or the lives of others, or
Do both of the above (ideal outcome).

Don’t forget to read Tim Urban’s ‘Your Life in Weeks’—he gives practical (and also hilarious) examples of how to use the calendar which are extremely useful and inspiring.

4. The Medicine Wheel

Source: Indigenous wisdom

Balance is not a noun—it’s a verb_._

The medicine wheel has been used for centuries by indigenous tribes from all over the world as a compass, a guide to give them direction in life.

How does it work?

Well, as it usually happens with this kind of ancient wisdom, different interpretations and traditions tend to appear with time. The basic concept is to use the four elements as a framework to help us achieve balance. Here’s a version that can be applied to our modern, busy lives:

Fire = Power / Action; (excess = Burnout);
Water = Emotions / Subconscious; (excess = Overwhelm);
Earth = Structure / Grounding; (excess = Feeling stuck);
Air = Wisdom / Consciousness, (excess = Overthinking).

How can you use it?

When feeling out of balance, see which quadrant of the Medicine Wheel is in excess and engage in activities that belong to the diagonally inverse quadrant. This will “tip” the wheel back to center, and bring you back to balance.

To find out more about which activities to use for each quadrant, and more information about what each of them represents, check out this article: ‘Journaling Techniques to Master Balance and Grow Faster’ by Silvia Bastos

5. Ikigai

Source: Somewhere and someone in Japan, during the Heian Period (794-1185) [1]

Life’s purpose combines what you love, are good at, can be paid for, and what the world needs.

Ikigai [from Japanese: ‘iki’ [生き] meaning life, + ‘gai’ [甲斐] meaning value or worth] is an excellent framework to help you identify your optimal life direction, and reflecting on your long-term goals, ideal lifestyle, and economic viability.

The concept can be depicted as a Venn diagram with your ikigai placed at the center, where four sets overlap.

Draw the spread in your notebook, then take some time to reflect and fill in each section with information that’s true to you—and hopefully you’ll get some clarity on your personal ikigai.

If you need more ideas for how to use it, I offer step-by-step instructions in this article: How To Chart A New Course For Your Life With 3 Simple Diagrams.

II. Plan, Strategize, and Take Action Like a Fortune 100 CEO

6. ‘Begin With the End in Mind’

Source: Stephen Covey

Know where you’re going so you know what steps to take.

In his book ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’, Stephen Covey has brought to life a timeless principle: begin with the end in mind.

In other words: make sure that you always keep your bigger purpose/goal/mission in mind when you engage in any smaller tasks. This will help make sure your actions are meaningful, you waste less time, and you get where you want to go.

This principle can be applied to any area of life—from personal-development and relationships to business and projects.

How can you apply it? Well, since there’s a whole chapter dedicated to it in one of the most popular self-development books ever, quite a lot. But you can start here:

Begin with defining your end goal (who you want to be or what you want to achieve);
Clarify your principles and values, which will guide you towards your goal on daily basis;
And finally, plan smaller tasks and jump into action.

If you need more clarity about any of the steps in the process, you can read about the main takeaways from this principle in this article: Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind

7. ‘The Flywheel Effect’

Source: Jim Collins

“Greatness is created by a series of good decisions, extremely well executed, over a long period of time”—Jim Collins

There is a common belief that people and companies become successful as a result of one major “breakthrough moment”.

Fortunately, after a lot of investigating and asking people and companies about their “big breakthrough” events, Jim Collins found out that this is just a myth. It turns out it’s not one big decisive moment that determines greatness: it is a series of interlinked events that trigger each other to make success inevitable—a metaphoric ‘flywheel’.

Jim Collins calls it ‘The Flywheel Effect’, and it can be applied both to business and personal life. In his interview with Tim Ferris, he gives the example of his own personal flywheel:

Curiosity for big questions > research > good ideas > books and teaching > impact > fund access > curiosity >…

As in:

Curiosity for big questions inevitably leads to him engaging in research, which is bound to produce (at least a few) very good ideas. Those are naturally destined to lead towards writing and teaching, which is likely to have impact on the world, consequently leading towards accessing funds, allowing to fund another project, and thus completing the loop.

A flywheel builds a compounding momentum over time with each loop adding up to the cumulative effect. If you do “a”, you can’t help but do “b”. If you do “b”, you can’t help but do “c”—and so on. It requires constant optimization, but it can be maintained and repeated for decades.

You can use the spread above to brainstorm the activities that, brought together in a sequential way, inevitably lead you towards greatness and success.

However, this is just a very basic explanation of ‘The Flywheel Effect’; if you want to learn in depth about it and build your own powerful flywheel, read Jim Collins’s book ‘Turning the Flywheel’

8. High Impact Actions

Source: Rafael Sarandeses

Engage in actions that are most likely to bring you the desired result.

Knowing your goal is not enough. You also need a clear path, outlining the most effective steps you could/should/will take.

In his article published on Better Humans, Rafael Sarandeses defines these as ‘High Impact Actions’.

High Impact Actions should be:

Predictive of your goal (if you do them diligently, you are very likely to achieve it);
100% within your control;
Easy to do on a regular basis;
Inserted within a tactical timeline (quarterly, monthly, weekly and daily);
Turned into habits, routines and processes.

So forget about accomplishing random daily tasks or engaging in purposeless habits for the sake of being “more productive”: what are the most effective, 100% within your control, regular actions that will lead you towards your goal?

Start by reading Rafael’s article—you’ll learn a lot from it. Then define your goal, define your HIA, and then—it’s time to take action.

9. Explore/Exploit Trade-off

Source: Probability Theory

Should you look for a better option, or stick with what is already working?

The ‘multi-armed bandit’ problem in probability theory gave origin to the “explore/exploit” concept, which can be applied to several areas in life (such as art, business, learning, and personal development). In his article ‘Explore/Exploit’, Josh Kaufman offers a very clear explanation of the pros and cons of exploring versus exploiting while working on a project or trying to achieve a goal.

So how does this principle work?

To find the best path towards your goals, you need to experiment with different options—you need to test, and be aware of other possibly more effective routes. However, every new exploratio_n has an opportunity cost: _less time to exploit the current option.

Exploring only leads to collecting a lot of information, but not making sufficient progress on any of the available paths. In contrast, exploiting only risks missing out on better solutions.

For example, if you started a new diet a few weeks ago but still see no results in terms of weight loss, you might want to try a new one. However, by doing so you might be giving up too early to see results—not exploiting the current enough to realize it’s actually ideal for you in the long run. But what if this is not the ideal diet for you? How to solve this dilemma?

Effective strategies include a combination of exploring and exploiting in various proportions. Here are some examples:

‘Epsilon-first’ strategy: Explore first, then exploit the best outcome;
‘Epsilon-greedy’ strategy: Pick the best currently available option between exploiting and exploring;
Minimize expected successes lost (e.g. when facing ethical constraints);
Establish a price for each option (e.g. sum of expected reward + estimated future reward);

What projects are you currently working on? What’s the best strategy for each of them? Reflect on it, and then experiment by consciously dividing your time between exploring and exploiting for each of them.

If you’re still not clear on how this works, start by reading Josh Kaufman’s ‘Explore/Exploit’ article.

If you need inspiration for applying this to your own life, Wikipedia contains an extensive list of possible strategies.

10. Make Smaller Circles

Source: Josh Waitzkin

“It is rarely a mysterious technique that drives us to the top, but rather a profound mastery of what may well be a basic skill set.”—Josh Waitzkin

The key to mastering any skill is to first learn its most basic components. In his book ‘The Art of Learning’{:target=”blank”}, Josh Waitzkin explains that before mastering the big, powerful moves that have led him to become world champion in _tai chi chuan, he first had to spend hours learning basic, small, slow movements, such as the subtleties of a few-inches-long punch.

When learning anything, pick an isolated component and break it down into tiny details which make it work. Want to learn Japanese? Start with learning the alphabet. Pick up a new instrument? First, master the scales—and only then will it be time to work on your vibrato.

Keep mastering the basics until they are fully integrated into your subconscious, so that later your conscious mind will have enough available energy to deal with new complex challenges.

11. Quality Threshold

Source: Scott Young

Finish your product, instead of endlessly trying to increase its quality.

Mastering a skill is a result of the time we dedicate to perfecting it.

Throughout his life, Vincent Van Gogh produced around 900 paintings most of them within a 2-year period. The thing is: not all of Van Gogh’s paintings were masterpieces—but it was his production volume that lead to creating the ones that were.

Focusing on “getting it perfect” is often a psychological barrier preventing us from completing a product, which in turn reduces the amount of production cycles, leading to fewer chances for feedback and skill-refinement.

So how can you produce enough quantity to get better at what you do, but still dedicate enough time to each product to make sure you can create quality content?

Scott Young wrote an article that covers that in a very clear, actionable way. It’s called ‘How to Be Prolific’, and it explains how to find the sweet spot between quality and quantity when producing work.

The exercise in this section was based on the advice given by Scott in his article (which is what I recommend you start with to get a more in-depth knowledge of the subject)—some steps to make it as effortless as possible to become prolific and improve your craft:

‘One time investments’

Scott suggests “create a “Vocabulary” for Your Work”—a database of tools that you have to learn or invest in once, and that will make your craft or process easier in the future;

‘Atomic skills’

Master atomic skills required to create your product, through repeating of the production cycle;

‘Barriers to Remove’

Identify and remove the barriers keeping you from completing products.

The trick is not to completely disregard the quality of the product, but instead—especially if you struggle with finishing things you started—shift your focus to increasing your output.

As Voltaire said, “the best is the enemy of the good.”

12. Process Thinking

Source: Nick Saban and Lionel Rosen / Ryan Holiday

_“We are A-to-Z thinkers, fretting about A, obsessing over Z, yet forgetting all about B through Y.”—_Ryan Holiday

There is one high-performance hack that a lot of us are unaware of. Psychiatry professor Lionel Rosen originated the insight; football coach Nick Saban applied it to his team’s success; and Ryan Holiday wrote all about it in a fantastic article.

It’s called process thinking, and it’s about the importance of staying focused on our immediate next steps.

We often get obsessed about our long term goals, but never end up achieving them because we don’t optimize our short-term actions. Keeping our goals in mind is crucial, but in order to get there, in order to progress in real time—right now—we need to focus on the next consecutive point on our journey.

Do you want to lose weight? Set a goal, but then go for your first walk today. If you want to start a blog, it’s great to keep the ideal audience numbers in mind—but don’t forget to start writing your first blog post.

Whatever is your Z, keep it in mind (begin with the end in mind) but then quickly focus back on how to get to point B.

Do you need more inspiration? Ryan Holiday’s article not only goes in depth into how Nick Saban lead his team to success by applying this principle, but also offers other useful insights on how you can do it yourself. Check it out: Here’s the Strategy Elite Athletes Follow to Perform at the Highest Level.

III. Make Great Decisions

13. Circle of Competence

Source: Warren Buffett

Focus on what you know, learn about what you don’t know.

[caption id=”attachment_593” align=”alignnone” width=”1000”] The image on the left was based on the one in Shane Parish’s article.[/caption]

Here’s a truth for you: you don’t know everything.

But here are the good news: you don’t need to.

In order to increase the likelihood of success in any area of life, all you need to do is focus on the narrow area where you have real expertise, while gradually expanding it by learning new things.

Warren Buffett calls this area ‘circle of influence’, and he attributes his success to always staying within his: “The size of that circle [of what you know] is not very important; knowing its boundaries, however, is vital.”

Shane Parish from Farnam Street wrote one of the most insightful articles out there on this topic (even if very short), called ‘Understanding your Circle of Competence: How Warren Buffett Avoids Problems’.

So here’s your exercise:

Read Shane Parish’s article to get a clearer grasp of the concept of ‘area of influence’;
Copy this spread to your journal;
Reflect on the questions on the left and write down the answers;
During this week, aim to stay within your area of influence, as well as expanding it.

It’s totally fine to say “I don’t know”. Pretending that you do is a slippery slope—as George Bernard Shaw said, “Beware of false knowledge, as it is more dangerous than ignorance.”

Own what you know, admit what you don’t, and expand your knowledge wherever it might help you grow.

14. Decision Matrix

Source: Dwight Eisenhower

Focus on what is important, not urgent.

The Decision Matrix, popularized by Stephen Covey, is a visual tool for effective time management. It helps evaluate which tasks should be carried out, delegated, or dropped, by dividing them into four different quadrants:

Important and urgent (e.g. crisis situations, pressing deadlines, etc.)
Important but not urgent (e.g. long-term planning, relationships, exercise, etc.)
Not important but urgent (interruptions, activities not contributing to your goals)
Not important and not urgent (distractions)

Quadrant 2 activities are at the core of effective personal management. They contribute directly towards your long-term mission, values and goals.

Spending most of your time in quadrant 2 practically guarantees that good things will happen, starting with removing the amount of crisis situations keeping you in quadrant 1. The rest should be either delegated or dropped.

To use this spread, think about the activities that you do on a regular basis, place them on the correct quadrant, and then reflect on ways to create more time for quadrant 2 activities.

If you want more information about the Decision Matrix, Brett and Kate McKay wrote a great article about it: The Eisenhower Decision Matrix: How to Distinguish Between Urgent and Important Tasks and Make Real Progress in Your Life.

15. Pareto Analysis

Source: Vilfredo Pareto

Identify what’s critical to your success and focus on it.

According to the Pareto Principle (known as the “80/20 rule”), 80% of results come from 20% of actions taken.

If most of the benefits come from just a small percentage of your actions, the most effective strategy towards success is to identify and focus on those things first.

Here’s how you can apply the Pareto Principle:

Specify your goal or problem;
Identify factors contributing towards that goal or problem;
List them in descending order of contribution towards the goal or problem;
Focus on the “vital few” rather than “trivial many”.

Note: This process is applicable to all areas of life (business, health, relationships, productivity, etc.)

If you enjoy Excel sheets, Duncan Haughey created a step-by-step walkthrough of conducting your Pareto analysis with an .xlsx template.

If you’d rather read a book, Richard Koch wrote a brilliant one.

16. Opportunity Cost

Source: Friedrich von Wieser (early 20th century scientist)

Every choice has a hidden price: not benefiting from the alternative choices.

I could try to explain the concept of opportunity cost myself, but why would you read my words if you can read Seth Godin’s instead? Here’s how he explains it in his brilliantly concise article, ‘Opportunity cost just went up’:

“If you have $100 to invest and you buy this stock instead of that bond, the interest you gave up in making your choice is your opportunity cost.

“At the dinner buffet, you can take as much food as you like, but you can only consume so much food. Which means that eating the jambalaya means you won’t have room to eat a dosa. That’s your opportunity cost.”

Every choice you make has a price.

Understanding the concept of ‘opportunity cost’ is key to effective decision-making, as it helps see the real cost of your actions and eliminate the ones that are not worth it.

In the words of Warren Buffett: “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

Before you say yes to any offer or opportunity, ask yourself: “by saying yes to this, what am I saying no to?” and then, “Is it worth it?”

17. Gap Between Trigger and Response

Source: Viktor Frankl

_“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”—_Viktor Frankl

We don’t get to choose what happens to us, but we get to choose what to do with the things that happen to us.

In other words, what psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl meant is that we don’t have to react impulsively to things that happen to us—we can choose to respond consciously, and this is where we can determine the quality of our lives.

Leslie Becker-Phelps Ph.D wrote an article for Psychology Today where she offers some practical strategies to turn Frankl’s words into action:

Consider the person you would like to be;
Think about the meaning or origin of your reactions;
Observe the outcome of your reactions;
Imagine a better response;
Learn a more compassionate approach to yourself.

To use the journaling exercise in this section, first identify your common triggers and reactions; then, take a look at Leslie Becker-Phelps’s article to learn her strategies, identify the ones that suit you best, and start experimenting with them.

IV. Face Your Problems Like a Zen Master and Get Them Out of Your Way

18. Fear-Setting

Source: Tim Ferriss

“Measure the cost of inaction, realize the unlikelihood and repairability of most missteps, and develop the most important habit of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action.”—Tim Ferris

Tim Ferriss claims there is one exercise which has produced his biggest business and personal successes.

He calls it ‘Fear-Setting’.

Very often we avoid taking action because we’re afraid of the consequences. But just like fear of the dark, very often we fear things just because we don’t know them. ‘Fear-setting’ is a powerful tool to dissect worst case scenarios, exhaust solutions, and get to a state of mental clarity from which are able to take action.

I took the liberty to create a visual, journaling version of Tim’s exercise. However, I highly recommend reading Tim’s instructions before you fill it in, as he goes in depth into each question and offers useful examples.

After that, draw the spread in your notebook, take some time to think, and write down your answers.

And then—because none of this makes sense without the last step…

Take action!

P.S.: I first read about this exercise in ‘The Four-Hour Workweek’ by Tim Ferriss, which, if you’re interested in living your ideal lifestyle, managing your time better and yes, facing your fears, you should totally read.

19. Procrastination Loop

Source: Charlotte Lieberman

At its core, procrastination is about emotions, not productivity.

Procrastination is a negative habit loop, reinforced through “amygdala hijack”—a bias that makes us focus problems (e.g. feeling bored) rather than future ones (e.g. missing an important deadline).

Charlotte Lieberman explains all about how procrastination really happens in her article ‘Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control)’. Here’s the core idea: procrastination is an emotional feedback loop.

Challenging emotion surfaces (e.g. self-doubt, anxiety, stress);
Procrastination provides temporary emotional relief (especially “socially acceptable procrastination” such as reading or tidying up);
You feel bad to see you’re procrastinating, so the emotions become even stronger, and the loop starts again. You’re trapped.

Charlotte also offers very practical solutions to break this loop:

Be curious about your thoughts and emotions: when you feel like procrastinating, analyze that feeling in depth (this way you can get to the root of why you are procrastinating);
Consider your next action: if you were to do the task you’re avoiding, what would be the first step? This helps you break down a big problem into small, actionable chunks;
Make your temptations more inconvenient: place obstacles on the path to your temptations. For example, if you tend to check Facebook often, hide your phone in a drawer;
Make it easy to do the right thing: remove any points of resistance that make what you need to do seem hard.

After you read Charlotte Lieberman’s article and dive deep into her instructions to end procrastination, fill in the spread above—and then start turning your words into action.

20. Good Problems vs. Bad Problems

Source: Mark Manson

When deciding about what you want to do, ask yourself: what kind of problems do you enjoy dealing with?

According to Mark Manson in his book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’, whichever path you choose in life, you will face problems.

In fact, problems never stop, since solving one problem always leads to the creation of a new one.

Therefore, instead of hoping for an effortless path, he suggests you choose your path based on the kind of problems you enjoy solving and which make you grow. For example, you might find it enriching to overcome writer’s block, but tiring to constantly listen to the complaints from your current boss at the job you hate.

Good questions to ask yourself:

“What pain do I want in my life?
“What am I willing to struggle for?”
“What pain do I want to sustain?”

Let Mark Manson be your guide: “The path to happiness is a path full of shitheaps and shame.”

So choose the good shitheaps and shame, and then face them heads on.

21. Theory of Constraints

Source: Eliyahu Goldratt / Taylor Pearson

A chain is never stronger than its weakest link.

[caption id=”attachment_602” align=”alignnone” width=”1000”] The graph on the left is an adaptation from the images in Taylor Pearson’s article.[/caption]

The Theory of Constraints (TOC)—conceived in the 1980s by Eli Goldratt, one of the founders the Israeli company Creative Output—is a management framework that views any system as being limited in achieving more of its goals by a small number of constraints.

In other words, in order for any system to become effective, the bottlenecks need to be addressed.

While originally created for business purposes, the theory of constraints (or business production function) is also highly relevant for personal growth. People (or businesses) fail to grow because they waste resources on ineffective solutions, such as fixing what’s already working without addressing major bottlenecks.

For example, if you’re trying to lose weight solely by increasing the amount of physical exercise, while ignoring diet and recovery, you are likely to fail. Similarly, attempting to increase your productivity by extending the working hours without improving physical and mental wellbeing is likely to result in burnout.

How can you apply this principle to improve your personal effectiveness?

First, identify and remove real bottlenecks.

Then, create systems to maintain the newly increased production limit over time.

Taylor Pearson wrote an extremely comprehensive article where he goes in depth into the principles of TOC, and offers solutions to identify and remove bottlenecks. It’s one of the best business articles you’ll ever read.

22. Plateau of Latent Potential

Source: James Clear

“If you find yourself struggling to build a good habit or break a bad one, it is not because you have lost your ability to improve. It is often because you have not yet crossed the Plateau of Latent Potential.”—James Clear

[caption id=”attachment_603” align=”alignnone” width=”1000”] The image on the left is based on the original ‘Plateau of Latent Potential’ graph from the book ‘Atomic Habits’[/caption]

The Plateau of Latent Potential is a concept introduced by James Clear in his book ‘Atomic Habits’. He calls it “a hallmark of any compounding process: the most powerful outcomes are delayed.”

Very often, sticking with a new habit (like doing sit ups every day) will show no visible results for a long time, until one day you suddenly reap the benefits (oh, are those my abs? I’ve never seen them before!)

This only happens because of the compounding effect of habits: the improvements were happening all along, but they’re usually barely noticeable until we cross the Plateau of Latent Potential—the threshold where the results become big enough to be visible.

Copy the spread above to your journal. Choose a habit you want to build, choose a symbol to represent it, and then track it every day. If you don’t see progress straight away, use James Clear’s graph on the left to remind you that habit progress is often not linear, but instead an exponential function where small improvements compound over a long period of time.

23. Hofstadter’s Law

Source: Douglas Hofstadter

Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.

We are biased to make over-optimistic assumptions of completion times, even when imagining the worst-case scenario.

There is no simple fix for this problem. However, Jane Collingwood wrote an article with very practical tips and different approaches for becoming better at estimating time and meeting deadlines, such as:

Checking at regular intervals that you are working on the most important task;
Avoid planning altogether;
Organizing filing systems;
Managing expectations;
Defining your most productive hours and using them for more demanding tasks.

Start by defining an important task you need to complete. Then apply Hofstadter’s Law when you estimate the completion time, read Jane Collingwood’s article, and choose your favorite tactics to finish it on time.

V. Change Your Habits, Change Your Life

24. Habit Loop

Source: Charles Duhigg

When I see [CUE], I will do [ROUTINE] in order to get [REWARD].

Charles Duhigg’s habit loop is an effective framework to bring you clarity on the nature of your habits, as well as help you quit them and form them.

Let’s say you want to quit smoking. Here’s how you can use the habit loop framework:

Identify the routine (how the habit happens):

Maybe you take a break from work at the office, go out with your colleagues, and smoke a cigarette while chatting outside.

Understand the reward (it’s usually there to meet an underlying need behind the habit):

How does smoking reward you? Do you feel relief (from stress)? Connected to others (by socializing)? Less tired and more inspired (taking a break from work)?

Isolate the cue (habit triggers):

Observe patterns: where are you when it happens? How do you feel when it happens? What time is it? Who else is around? What action preceded the urge?

You can shift habits by modifying the existing loop:

Plan for the cue;
Choose a new routine;
Complete it with a new reward, which meets the underlying need.

25. Aggregation of Marginal Gains

Source: Sir Dave Brailsford / James Clear

“Success is the product of daily habits—not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.” —James Clear

In 2003, the British cycling team led by Dave Brailsford radically increased the level of their performance by gradually improving every aspect of riding a bike by 1% (e.g. redesigning bike seats, finding the best muscle recovery gels, etc.)

Within five years, the team went from virtually no successes to dominating world-class cycling events, including winning 60% of all medals available at the 2008 Olympic Games.

It was by studying cases like this one that James Clear wrote about his book ‘Atomic Habits’, where he explains how focusing on tiny, 1% improvements in every area of life compounds into tremendous results over a relatively short period of time.

In fact, if you can get as little as 1% better every day, you will increase your overall performance 37 times within one year. In contrast, daily repetition of bad habits and tiny errors will decrease your performance almost down to zero.

Which habits could you build in order to improve yourself by at least one percent every day?

Maybe it’s meditating for five minutes. Maybe is going to the gym. Maybe it’s making a phone call a day to someone you love. Choose one, and start your ascent tomorrow.

26. Habit Stacking

Source: SJ. Scott

It’s easier to build multiple habits when they’re connected by one single routine.

To make habit building more effortless, you can use existing habits as cues to form new ones. In other words, you just “stack” habits onto each other, turning them into connected links of the same routine.

Scott created a 13-step-process to turn small, positive habits into a simple-to-complete sequence. Some steps include “picking a time and location”, “creating a logical checklist”, and “focusing on repetition”.

In order to create your own habit stack, read S J Scott’s article, follow his process, and then apply the following formula to fill in the journaling spread in this section:

After I {current habit}, I will {new tiny habit}.

For example:

After brushing teeth (existing habit), I will floss one tooth (new tiny habit).

After flossing, I will switch my phone to flight mode (new tiny habit).

Then, I will stretch for 1 minute (new tiny habit).

Then, I will read 1 page of fiction (new tiny habit).

This strategy works extremely well in combination with the tiny habits method developed by BJ Fogg. Focusing on small wins removes resistance (it’s much easier to floss one tooth than all of them), which in turn helps to build consistency. As new habits become automatic, they can be easily expanded and/or built upon.

27. Behavior Change Matrix

Source: Nir Eyal

There are four different types of behaviors. If you want to change one, you first need to identify it.

[caption id=”attachment_608” align=”alignnone” width=”1000”] The matrix on the left is an adaptation from Nir Eyal’s Behavior Change Matrix.[/caption]

In order for any behavior-change strategies to be effective, they need to be adapted for each specific type of behavior.

In order to help people choose the best strategies for them instead of aimlessly jumping from trend to trend, Nir Eyal created the Behavior Change Matrix, which divides all behaviors into four different quadrants:

Amateur behaviors are automatic responses requiring little willpower (such as brushing your teeth). They are generally easy to build using an external trigger (e.g. alarm) as a reminder for the desired behavior.

Expert behaviors require a high degree of self-control and mastery and are common across experts in various disciplines (from professional sports to science). They generally require long periods of diligent practice (e.g. performing a neurosurgery).

Addictive behaviors require a significant amount of willpower to break, as neural loops drive the addict to prioritize satisfying their urge over long-term wellbeing. They require drastic measures, such as abstinence, change of environment and involved support from others.

Habitué behaviors are generally relatively easy to resist (e.g. having that amazing chocolate cake). The techniques build equanimity to face the discomfort arising from not fulfilling the desire.

Ask yourself: “Which behaviors do I want to quit/form?”, and place them into their appropriate category in the matrix.

Then, to learn how to tackle each of them, read Nir’s article ‘How to Design Behavior (The Behavior Change Matrix)’, which will show you different strategies to tackle each specific behavior.

VI. Become a Communication Master, Grow Your Network, and Build Awesome Relationships

28. Feelings and Needs

Source: Marshall Rosenberg

Behind every conflict, there is a challenging feeling and an unmet need.

Nonviolent Communication is a methodology developed by Marshall Rosenberg to help us deepen human connection, solve conflict, and better understand each other.

Its main premise is that the things we say and do when we’re angry, sad, or upset are simply a way to alleviate those feelings and fulfill our unmet needs the best way we can.

The key to solving conflict is to:

Whenever someone says something that’s hurtful, don’t take it personally;
Instead, ask yourself: “What could this person be feeling and needing that makes them act in this way?”
Try to identify their feelings and needs and empathize with them. Maybe they’re feeling annoyed and saying those things brings them relief. Maybe they feel lonely and just want to be heard.
Focus your response on those feelings and needs, instead of defending yourself from their words (“You seem really angry—is it because you feel that you’re not getting the respect you need?”)
Alternatively, share your own feelings and needs (“I see where you’re coming from, but when you say it in that way I feel hurt, as I don’t feel my point of view is being heard.”)

This is easier said than done, but you’ll be surprised to see how healing and powerful it can be to hear someone else reflecting these things back at us in challenging moments.

Very often, all it takes to end conflict is this: to listen, and to feel listened to—not for our thoughtless words, but for what’s really going on inside of us.

29. Win/Win or No Deal

Source: Stephen Covey

“In the long run, if it isn’t a win for both of us, we both lose. That’s why Win/ Win is the only real alternative in interdependent realities.”—Stephen Covey

According to Stephen Covey, negotiations can happen under six different mindsets (which can be applied to all sorts of interactions—romantic, business, family, friends, etc.):

Win/Win seeks a solution beneficial to both parties, which prevents eventual losses in the long-term.

Win/Lose is the authoritarian/competitive approach, where the victory of one party means a clear defeat for the other.

Lose/Win leads to capitulation and letting the other party “have their own way”.

Lose/Lose often arises when two Win/Lose people get together. They are based on “getting back” or “getting even” and disregard individual losses, as long as the outcome hurts the other party.

Win is the most common mindset, focusing on winning without considering the outcome for the other party, leaving it up to them to protect their own interests.

Win/Win or No Deal is the higher form of Win/Win mindset, where both parties agree to either find a mutually beneficial arrangement or forfeit the agreement all together without any unmet expectations or hard feelings.

Whether it’s a discussion with your mother about what’s for dinner, setting emotional boundaries in a relationship, or an agreement with a new business partner, always aim for ‘Win/Win or No Deal’, as this will assure that everyone is respected.

In the words of Stephen Covey, the author of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”:

“With No Deal as an option, you can honestly say, “I only want to go for Win/ Win. I want to win, and I want you to win. I wouldn’t want to get my way and have you not feel good about it, because downstream it would eventually surface and create a withdrawal. On the other hand, I don’t think you would feel good if you got your way and I gave in. So let’s work for a Win/ Win. Let’s really hammer it out. And if we can’t find it, then let’s agree that we won’t make a deal at all. It would be better not to deal than to live with a decision that wasn’t right for us both. Then maybe another time we might be able to get together.”

30. Network Constraint

Source: Ronald Burt / Michael Simmons

A large, open network is the best predictor of career success.

[caption id=”attachment_611” align=”alignnone” width=”1000”] The image on the left is based on a chart by Ronald Burt, shared by Michael Simmons.[/caption]

In an insightful article based on extensive research from the world’s top network scientist Ronald Burt, Michael Simmons explains how building large, open networks can enrich your life in several ways, such as giving you access to unique opportunities, working as a translator of ideas between groups, and having a more accurate view of the world than other people.

In contrast, living/working within a small, closed network of interconnected people will dramatically reduce your exposure to new ideas and reinforce already well-integrated patterns. As a consequence, you are likely to stop growing.

Although open networks have challenges—such as feeling like an outsider or not being understood—the benefits are worth it. As an example, multiple studies have found that access to an open network is the single variable responsible for half of the predicted difference in career success.

What does your current network look like? Is it closed, or is it open and expanding? Use the spread above to represent your current network, and then take notes of how you can optimize it.

Here’s an example:

31. Reciprocity Decay

Source: Study by Chuan, A., Kessler, J. B., & Milkman, K. L [2] / Coglode

Our desire to give back wanes rapidly with time.

Life is full of favor exchanges. You cover for a co-worker’s shift, or help your friend to move furniture. And eventually, you might want something in return.

Conventional wisdom suggests to wait before asking people to return favors. However, it’s been proven that you shouldn’t: people are more likely to reciprocate good deeds when only a short time has passed in between.

In fact, requests sent only a few days after are the most successful. This means you don’t need to wait forever before you ask someone to return your favor, just because you’re afraid they’ll think you had second intentions from the start. People are more open to giving back than you think—it just helps to ask while the exchange is still fresh.

There is nothing unhealthy about reciprocity in relationships, and when communicated with transparency and compassion, it can bring countless benefits.

Coglode has a great overview of a study conducted on hospital patients that illustrates this framework.

32. Interpersonal Triads

Source: Dave Logan and John King

“The most valuable relationships are not made of two people, they’re made of three. A third person will always stabilize and grow the relationship between the other two. It’s called a triad, and the more you create, the stronger your network.” — via CultureSync, Tribal Leadership

A triad is a three-way relationship where each person is responsible for the quality of the relationship between the other two. According to the authors of ‘Tribal Leadership’, triad-based structures are the major reason why 24% of American organizations stand out from the rest.

Here are some of the reasons:

It improves delegation skills (no need to always report back to one person only);
It allows more introductions (network expansion);
It frees up time (no need to manage everyone one-on-one);
If done well, it guarantees integrity and trust (no secrets, no distrust).

If you’re still not convinced, check out this article on CultureSync which explains more about how triads work.

So how can you apply this to your personal life?

Instead of inviting a coworker or a partner for a cup of coffee, invite two. Then, make an active effort to facilitate the relationship between them (e.g. if it’s a first time introduction, tell them what’s great about each other—not many things make someone like you more than hearing you say good things about them to someone else).

33. Congruent Communication

Source: Patrick Ewers

We can make communication more effective by completely aligning our words, tonality, and body language (the three main channels of Congruent Communication) behind a singular message.

Patrick Ewers, founder of Mindmaven, explains that words compose only 7% of our communication abilities, while tonality and body language are far more impactful (38% and 55%).

Think about it: when emailing or texting, you’re only using 7% of your full communication potential (and word exclusive communication is often misinterpreted).

On the other hand, if you tell someone a positive message (content) but your tonality and body language indicate otherwise (context), your communication will be incongruent, and therefore likely to be misunderstood.

Congruent Communication—a term coined by Patrick Ewers—is when words, tonality, and body language are completely aligned behind a single message. It “dramatically reduces the likelihood it’ll be misunderstood, and subconsciously builds massive trust with those you interact with”.

Are you using all three channels to their fullest potential? Or are you constantly experiencing misunderstandings? Use the spread above to reflect on your communication skills and apply congruent communication to your interactions.

VII. Live a Better, Healthier, and More Balanced Life

34. Sleep Heat Map

Source: Dot Zacharias

All aspects of daily life influence our sleep: which ones are affecting yours, and how can you improve them?

The Sleep Heat Map is a tool created by Dot Zacharias aimed at helping you increase the ROI of your sleep improvement by focusing on the areas of your life that impact your sleep the most.

There are 16 sleep-affecting factors, divided by 3 categories (environment, mental and physical), and arranged from left to right in increasing order of difficulty.

Environment: home, relationships, work, caring for others;
Mental: positivity, stress, beliefs, mental health;
Physical: hydration and breath, movement, nutrition, physical health.

Here’s how to use it:

Copy the Sleep Heat Map to your journal;
Score each category from 1 to 10 (10 = “no problem here”, and 1 = “this one needs a lot of work”);
Write down some keywords about what you can do to improve in each box.

Check out this article to learn more about each category and how to use the Sleep Heat Map: Sleep Heat Map. What’s Stopping You From Sleeping?

35. Longevity is a Function of Lifespan and Healthspan

Source: Peter Attia

Longevity is a function of how long you live and how well you live.

Living a long life (lifespan) is not enough: in order to enjoy it, you also need to be healthy and have energy (healthspan). Ideally, you want to have both.

That’s why Peter Attia, a leading expert in the applied science of longevity, came up with the following function:

Longevity = f (Lifespan, Healthspan)

He explains that, in order to extend your lifespan, you need to delay the onset of atherosclerotic disease, cancer, and neurodegenerative disease.

To preserve your healthspan, you need to maintain three main elements:

Your brain (cognition, thought processing, memory…) ;
Your body (muscle mass, movement, strength, flexibility, and freedom from pain);
Your “spirit” (social support network and sense of purpose)

Are you just concerned with living a long life, or are you doing your best to increase the quality of your life as you’re living it?

To answer that question, you can start by reading Peter Attia’s excellent article where he further explains the concepts of longevity, lifespan, and healthspan.

Then, use the journal spread above to brainstorm ways in which you can level up your healthspan preservation, by coming up with ideas to maintain your brain, body, and spirit.

36. 10,000+ Hours

Source: K. Anders Ericsson, Ralf Th. Krampe, and Clemens Tesch-Romer

World class performance comes after 10,000 hours of deliberate practice, 12,500 hours of deliberate rest, and 30,000 hours of sleep.

You might have heard that in order to master any skills, you need 10,000 hours of practice.

Unfortunately, that’s not the full picture.

Mastering a skill is not just a matter of time—it’s about a very specific kind of practice referred to as deliberate practice, as well as having enough available mental and emotional resources available (here’s the study). That means that, in order for those 10,000 hours to be effective, we also need deliberate rest.

Even the most dedicated people can handle only up to 4 hours of highly focused effort per day, translating into a little less than a decade of 5 day/week 4h practice in order to reach mastery. Slightly longer than you thought?

The bottom line is, cutting on rest and/or sleep simply won’t do—even if you put in the 10,000 hours (in fact, it might even be helpful to extend resting time, since some of the most important components of creative work and knowledge consolidation happen then).

So work hard, but don’t forget to rest hard too. If you need more information on how to rest well, Alex Soojung-Kim Pang wrote an excellent book about it. And if you want to learn about deliberate practice, here’s an article by Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool.

37. Balance Dashboard

Source: Bill Burnett and David Evans

To get back to balance, increase the level of what is missing, without reducing what’s working well.

[caption id=”attachment_619” align=”alignnone” width=”1000”] The image is based on a chart by Bill Burnett and David Evans in this worksheet.[/caption]

The concept of ‘work-life balance’ is a false dichotomy: having “more” of one of them doesn’t necessarily require having “less” of the other.

In contrast, the Balance Dashboard exercise (created by Bill Burnett and David Evans as a part of their ‘Designing Your Life’ program) defines balance as an equation consisting of four different areas: work, play, love and health.

Each of them is represented by one gauge. When feeling out of balance, it’s usually because one (or more) of your gauges is falling behind the others.

How can you use the Balance Dashboard?

Identify the area in your life that’s currently below ideal;
Define small steps necessary to increase its level.

You can either copy the dashboard directly into your journal, or access Bill and David’s worksheet here.

38. Attention ≠ Awareness

Source: Zen Buddhism / Culadasa

To strengthen your mind, practice both attention and awareness.

We can either perceive reality by focusing on a specific object (attention) or by being peripherally aware of several things around us (awareness).

For example, you are now focused on reading these words, but you are also aware of some sounds around you, bodily sensations, and a few thoughts in your head.

When aiming for productivity, we tend to give too much importance to focus and attention, while disregarding awareness. This is highly ineffective, as we miss out on exploring different possibilities, developing mental resilience, and seeing the “bigger picture”.

When you practice both awareness and attention, you are increasing the totality of your mental power.

You can achieve this through meditation (for example, focus on the sensation of your breath while remaining aware of any external stimuli such as sounds, or your body as a whole).

Here’s how to use this journaling exercise:

Copy the spread to your journal or a piece of paper;
Whenever you look at it during the week, do the following:

Count to ten breaths;
As you count, try to maintain focused on the sensations caused by the breath on the nose, while remaining aware of other bodily sensations.

John Yates, Ph.D. (also known as Culadasa), neuroscientist and meditation master and author of the world-famous book ‘The Mind Illuminated’ explores this concept in depth in this article.

39. Body Impacts Mind

Source: Tony Robbins

You can use body movement to change your mood and bring yourself to a peak state.

The relationship between your physical posture and your state of mind is reciprocal.

What does this mean?

We all know that often our posture is a result of how we feel. For example, if you lack confidence, you might turn your shoulders down, speak slowly and quietly, and breathe in a shallow way.

However, the opposite is also true: you can use your posture to change your mood. If you open up your chest, breathe in deeply, and speak clearly and enthusiastically, this can radically change the way you feel.

This principle is often applied and taught by Tony Robbins, who jumps on a tiny trampoline before he goes on stage to change his mood, and jumps into a cold water tank every morning to raise his energy. He offers some techniques to change your mood in his article ‘How to Reset Your Mind and Mood’.

Think about ways in which you can move your body in order to change the way you feel. Write them down in your journal, and then start applying them to your daily life. Keeping track of how often you do this will help you build it into your routine and get more comfortable with the practice.

40. Intermittent Fasting

Source: Martin Berkhan / Dr. Jason Fung

Your body burns fat while in a fasting state.

There are two types of fuel powering human bodies: food, and stored energy (body fat). They can’t be accessed at the same time, and our insulin levels control which one is being used.

While eating, your insulin levels go up and your body can only use energy from the food you’re consuming.

Fasting reduces your insulin levels and your body switches to using stored energy (body fat).

In other words, you either burn fat or store it. This is why no one starves for not eating during sleep—the body has plenty of stored energy to use.

Are you feeling happy with the current state of your digestion? Do you feel uncomfortably full when you go to bed? After meals? How are your energy levels? Do you eat at the same times every day?

Dr. Jason Fung wrote an illuminating article explaining why extended periods of fasting lead to successful long-term weight loss. Have a read, and then why not observe your current eating patterns and experiment a bit?

41. The True Cost of Stuff

Source: Leo Babauta

Every object costs much more than the money you spend on it.

When you buy something, you’re spending much more than the money you pay for it.

According to Leo Babauta, who wrote an article called ‘The True Cost of Stuff’, some of these costs include:

The physical space the object takes (more stuff requires more space = more cost);
Damage to the environment during the production cycle (factory, transport, etc.);
Worrying about the item (if gets broken, lost, stolen, etc.);
Energy cost (for electrical items);
Maintenance cost and time (a car or a house are good examples);
Energy needed to eventually get rid of it (or even more money, in case you own a piano).

Next time you want to buy something, think of its true cost: how much will it cost you now and in the future? Is this something you really want? Is it worth its true cost?

Now it’s up to you.

You have the tools, the rest is up to you.

As Steve Jobs said: “Technology is nothing. What’s important is that you have a faith in people, that they’re basically good and smart, and if you give them tools, they’ll do wonderful things with them.”

Here’s a question for you to begin the process:

What is the one tool which I could start using today, that would have the highest positive impact on my life?

Have a wonderful journey.

Acknowledgements

I want to take a moment to express my gratitude to the authors of mental models, principles, concepts, tools and studies on which these 41 journaling exercises are based.

Your paradigm-shifting work has helped me to face (and solve) various problems on my path, and it has enriched my life in more ways that I can possibly list here. Thank you!

It is my hope that this article will inspire people to incorporate your ideas into their journaling practices, and consequently experience profound changes in all areas of their lives.

Note: A pdf version of this article (along with many other goodies) is available via our Patreon.

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How To Break Bad Habits - The Ultimate Guide

2019-03-12T00:00:00+00:00

Some people say that you can’t break bad habits without changing your environment.

Others say that the key is motivation and willpower.

Others swear that “replacing the bad habit with a good one” is the magic spell that will end all evil.

You’ve probably tried it all. And it worked… to a certain extent. But no matter what tips and tricks you try, your bad habit always seems to come back, sometimes even stronger than before.

The reason why this happens is that behind every bad habit there is a need we’re trying to meet (like biting your nails to get relief from stress), and the reason why that need was unmet in the first place is because something in our life is out of alignment.

In order to eliminate the bad habit, we first have to address the need behind it.

The other reason why those pieces of advice fail is because there is not one tactic that will solve your problem alone.

No matter how much motivation you have, if you constantly hang out with people who smoke, you’re not going to quit the habit. If you just replace cigarettes with gum, your brain might recognize the difference and reject the replacement.

Habits are intricately ingrained in our lives, and therefore, in order to eliminate them, we have to dismantle the whole system that sustains them.

I don’t claim to have all the answers. However, there are a lot of great answers out there. So I put together what I consider to be the best of them and I created a very comprehensive guide that addresses all the angles of quitting a habit.

1. The Investigation

“If it can me measured, it can be improved” —Peter Drucker

After a long time of unsuccessfully trying to quit a bad habit, it’s easy to get caught up in guilt and defeat. These emotions can alter your judgement and taint your perception of the habit itself.

You want to step out of those feelings and bring awareness to the habit, by asking the following questions:

How often do you do it?
How long have you been doing it for?
Is it addictive? Is it mild or strong? Is it conscious or non-conscious?
Who are you with when it happens?
What kind of triggers initiate the behaviour?

A great way to gather information about your habits is habit tracking.

You can track your habits in your journal, as well as take notes of relevant conclusions from your investigation.

The best way to do this is to use your journal, and at the end of each day write down if you did your bad habit or not.

(If this sounds like too much work, check out the Minimalist Journaling System—a fully customizable habit tracker that takes less than 30 seconds to fill in and which will give you all the data you need).

Checklist:

→ Ask yourself relevant questions regarding the frequency, nature and triggers of your bad habit, and write down the answers for greater clarity.

→ Draw a simple habit tracker in your journal (a calendar will also do), and for a few weeks take note of how often you do your habit.

2. Two Questions To Uncover The Truth

Smokers smoke because they need peace of mind and relief from the stress they are feeling.

People who brag a lot might feel insecure and try to meet their need for validation.

Procrastination might be a sign that there is doubt, fear, or aversion regarding the task at hand, and we just need more clarity and time.

Whatever your bad habit is, there is a need it’s trying to meet, and the only way to effectively eliminate it is by first identifying that need.

Here is an effective exercise to do that, which consists of asking yourself 2 questions:

1st question: “What do I feel that makes me do this?”

Behind every habit there is a need, and the clue to every need is a feeling.

When you do your habit, ask yourself “What do I feel that makes me do this?”

The feelings should be able to be named with one word each. For example: I binge eat because I feel anxious, or frustrated.

Some examples of feelings that can trigger bad habits are: afraid, angry, annoyed, disconnected, tired, sad, vulnerable, bored, ashamed, tense, or jealous.

2nd question: “What need does my bad habit meet that alleviates this feeling?”

After you have identified the feeling behind your habit, you are ready to move deeper and discover the unmet need.

Needs have an emotional nature rather than an intellectual one.

For example, the need for money or the need to be prettier are not needs, but mental constructs. You think you need money because you think it will make you happy; you think you need to be prettier, richer, or smarter, but what you might actually need is appreciation or love.

Here are some of the most common needs that, when unmet, originate bad habits: connection, acceptance, appreciation, clarity, celebration, contribution, stimulation, relief, love, comfort, efficacy, excitement, joy, satisfaction, safety, rest, nurturing, communication, among others.

After you have answered the 2 questions, you should have come up with a conclusion that sounds something like this:

I binge eat because it brings me comfort when I am anxious;
I bite my nails because it brings me clarity and focus when I am confused;
I scream at her because it brings me control and relief when I am angry.

If you feel that you didn’t get your need right at first attempt, don’t worry. Keep it in your mind, and repeat step 1 and step 2 until you get there. Take your time.

Checklist:

→ Ask yourself the question “What do I feel that makes me do this habit?”, and answer with a feeling.

→ Ask yourself the question “What need does my bad habit meet that alleviates this feeling?__”, and answer with a need.

→ After you have both answers, write down your conclusion: “I [do bad habit] because it brings me [need met] when I am [feeling]”. Keep it in your journal or somewhere you can see it every day.

3. Do Something Nice For Yourself

If you just try to stop doing your habit, you will likely fail, because your need will still be unmet.

This is why replacing a bad habit with a good one works: because you’re covering the empty space left by the old habit.

But you shouldn’t just choose any habit. Here’s some guidelines your new good replacement should follow in order to be effective:

1. It meets the same need as the old habit (example: if you are addicted to social media to meet your need for satisfaction, you might want to replace it with something else that satisfies you, such as writing down 3 good things about yourself, coloring a book, or even popping wrapping paper bubbles);
2. It’s something you enjoy doing (otherwise you won’t do it);
3. It’s something easy (it should be as easy to do as the old habit; the less resistance, the better);
4. It’s beneficial for you (this varies from person to person, but you will know it intuitively—habits like walking, drinking water, or breathing deeply, even if not suitably for everyone, will most likely always be healthier than partying everyday, smoking weed or watching porn compulsively);
5. It’s something measurable (don’t choose “exercise”, or “show love to your partner”; choose “do 30 push-ups” or “send my partner a loving text”).

When you replace your habit, you should take into account that this is merely a temporarily solution that will make it easier to stay away from the habit in the moment when you get triggered.

However, if you want to completely remove it from your life, you need to proceed to deeper changes.

Checklist:

→ Replace your bad habit with a good habit that meets the same need, that you enjoy doing, that is easy, beneficial and measurable. Whenever you feel the urge to do the old habit, do the new one instead.

4. Remove the Cues

In his book ‘The Power of Habit’, Charles Duhigg explains the concept of habit loop and the main 3 components of a habit:

1. Cue: the signal that triggers your habit, like seeing a chocolate bar in your kitchen;
2. Routine: the behaviour that follows, like grabbing the chocolate and eating it;
3. Reward: the feeling of satisfaction that makes the habit too easy to repeat, such as the rich taste of the chocolate or the sugar rush that follows eating it.

Whenever possible, remove the cue for your habit—stop buying chocolate to keep in the house, stop hanging out with friends who drink, or stop working in the same place where you watch television.

Checklist:

→ Remove the cues in your environment that trigger your urge to do your bad habit—this will reduce the need for constant effort to resist temptation.

5. Keep the Need Met

If you have unmet needs that cause bad habits, it’s because something in your lifestyle needs to be addressed.

Take a look at the need you identified behind your bad habit and ask yourself:

“Which new habits can I implement in my life in order to keep this need met?”

For example, if you constantly fail to wake up to your alarm, it’s probably because you are not getting enough rest. A way to counteract that might be implementing habits such as going to bed earlier, eating healthier, or implementing longer off-screen time before bed.

A great way to add new habits to your routine and continuously meet your needs is by using habit stacking.

In his process Tiny Habits, Stanford professor BJ Fogg explains how to use stack very small habits for effective habit building.

You choose a ‘tiny habit’ (for example flossing only one tooth instead of all your teeth), and then you stack it on top of other habits that are already a part of your routine.

“After I brush my teeth, I will floss one tooth”.

“After I [current habit], I will [new habit]”.

So let’s say you want to meet your need for rest in order to stop waking up late. You can use the following:

“After I switch off my laptop after work, I will take a 20 minute nap”.
“After I brush my teeth in the evening, I will put my phone in airplane mode.”
“After I lay down in bed, I will read 3 pages from my fiction book.”

Checklist:

→ Remove the craving for your bad habit by implementing regular tiny habits that help keep the need behind it met.

Use the habit stacking method to make your tiny habits easier to implement.

6. Don’t Go It Alone

“Surround yourself with people who remind you more of your future than your past.”

— Dan Sullivan

According to research, we are 65% more likely to stick with our goals if we share them publically, and chances increase to 95% if we choose a specific accountability partner.

For example, if you struggle with drinking too much when you go out, you can find a “party buddy” who will stay sober with you. Another way is simply to tell a friend that you will be commiting to a new habit and ask them to check in with you about it once in a while.

Hiring a coach can also be a great choice if you are interested in applying big changes at a much faster speed.

In some cases—especially if your habit is mental health related, highly addictive, or if you require medication—you might also want to seek professional help, such as a doctor or a therapist.

Checklist:

→ Get some support by finding an accountability partner, a “habit buddy”, or by getting professional help such as a coach or therapist.

7. Know What You’re Aiming For

Changing your environment, building new habits and hanging out with the right people is crucial, but building inner strength is also important.

When I first removed meat from my diet, I had to reduce the number of meals I had with my meat-eating family to make it easier for myself. However, I didn’t want to stop having meals with them altogether, so I had to develop my own inner mechanisms to stick with my decision.

This is where motivation comes into play.

Ask yourself the following question: “How will my life change when I quit this habit?”

Whether the answer is “I will be healthier and feel proud of my body”, “my relationships will improve”, or “I will be financially free, relieved, and able to take that trip to Thailand I have always wanted”, just make sure it’s something positive that you really want to achieve.

Write it down somewhere where you can see it everyday (like your journal, or a poster you hang in your office), and look at it when you feel discouraged from doing your habit.

Checklist:

→ Answer the question “How will my life change when I quit this habit?”

→ Keep the answers in your journal or on a poster on the wall and use them as your daily source of motivation when you feel discouraged.

8. Track Your Progress

“When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stone-cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will all split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it—but all that had gone before.”

—Jacob Riis

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear explains the compound effect in habit change: very often it takes a long time to see the first results from our efforts, but once we break through a certain threshold, the changes are powerful and obvious.

[caption id=”attachment_497” align=”alignnone” width=”1500”] Unlike what many think, the progress in habit change is not linear.[/caption]

For some people, this waiting time can become discouraging, and they give up before there was enough time to reap the rewards from all their hard work.

That’s why habit tracking can be your most powerful ally. Tracking habits helps, because you:

prove to yourself how much you progressed,
use a trial-and-error approach to find the best habits for you,
have clarity on the changes that are happening and the consequences of your habits,
stay motivated to continue.

Here are some ideas of how to track your progress:

Track the times when you felt the urge to do your old bad habit, but resisted it;
Track the times when you did your replacement habit instead of your old, bad habit;
Track the new, tiny habits you implemented to help address your needs and create new, healthy routines.

[caption id=”attachment_498” align=”alignnone” width=”1500”] Minimalist Journaling System: Top left corner: mood. Top right corner: energy level. Bottom left corner: productivity grade. Top left corner: “do I feel accomplished today?”[/caption]

Apart from tracking your habits, you can also track metrics such as your mood, your level of energy, your feeling of accomplishment, or your productivity. This way, you might find patterns between the two (example: after a week of not smoking, your energy levels started going up), and this will increase your motivation and allow you to adapt your strategy based on concrete results.

You can also use your journal for tracking your progress (check out the Minimalist Journaling System to keep it simple and clear).

Checklist:

→ Use a habit tracker to measure your progress (track times you resisted an urge, replaced the old habit, or did healthy tiny habits)

→ If you want, track other metrics such as your mood and energy levels to gather more data and make you more effective.

9. Make Yourself Hate It

Going back to Duhigg’s model of habit loop (cue-routine-reward), a great way to accelerate the process of quitting is to make your old bad habit feel less rewarding.

One way you can do this is by bringing your awareness to the bad consequences of the habit each time it happens.

For example, when you are about to play another video game, tell yourself out loud:

“I am about to play another videogame, and I know it will make me feel numb and disappointed, and I will hate myself because I could be using this time to do something productive instead”.

If you say this to yourself out loud every time before you do your bad habit, you will bring your awareness to the negative consequences of it, dimming the power of the reward, and you will feel less and less like repeating it in the future.

Checklist:

→ Decrease the intensity of the rewarding feeling you get from your bad habit by repeating the negative consequences out loud before you do it—this will make you less likely to repeat it in the future.

10. Strengthen Your Mind

“The strength of your mind determines the quality of your life.”
― Edmond Mbiaka

Don’t let your emotions drown you, but also don’t try to control them—instead, surf them like a wave.

One of the biggest obstacles to habit change is that when strong emotions and cravings surface, we tend to react to them impulsively.

Equanimity means to remain calm, balanced and non-reactive in the face of challenges and discomfort.

In order to achieve equanimity, you need to train your mind. The best way to train your mind for equanimity is with mindfulness meditation.

According to John Yates PhD, neurologist and author of The Mind Illuminated , mindfulness is the perfect balance between stable attention and awareness.

Attention is when you focus your mind in one specific object (for example, the text you are reading). Awareness is your perception of things in the background (the sound of the cars outside, how your back feels on your chair, your other thoughts and worries).

Here is an exercise you can do to practice mindfulness meditation:

Close your eyes and sit in a comfortable position (preferably with your back straight);
Focus your attention on the sensation of your breath in your nostrils;
Keep your attention on your breath, but remain aware of everything else in the background without letting it compete for your focused attention;
Whenever you get distracted, keep coming back to the breath;
You will find yourself getting angry or upset when you see how often your mind wanders, but that’s the point—let go of those emotions, and keep bringing your attention back to the breath, gently and patiently;
Start with 5 minutes, and increase the time whenever you have made it into a habit.

Checklist:

→ Practice meditation (start with 5 minutes a day) to increase emotional resilience, which will help you better resist cravings and stick with healthy habits.

11. Trust Yourself

According to a study, once we believe something about ourselves, we are much more likely to act in alignment with that belief.

If you do all the previous steps but secretly think you can’t do it, then you will fail.

Here is a great tip from James Clear on breaking bad habits:

“You don’t need to be someone else, you just need to return to the old you.”

Trust that you can do this, because one day—even if it was years ago—you already successfully lived without this habit. You only need to be the person you were when you didn’t have it.

Remember that. Trust in your ability to succeed, and you will.

Checklist:

→ Remind yourself that, one day, you already lived without the bad habit. Therefore, you can do it again.

This Is Just The Beginning

If this whole process feels overwhelming, don’t worry. For now, just pick one bad habit, and start there.

Start with the first step in the process, and move from there. Repeat as necessary.

Take your time. A 2010 study published in The European Journal of Social Psychology found it took an average of 66 days for a behavior to change (though time varied from 18 to 254 days).

Don’t focus on the time it takes—focus on the fact that the results will show whenever you are prepared to receive them.

By taking the steps in this process, I have successfully eliminated habits such as binge eating, smoking, drinking three coffees a day, procrastinating on social media, and reacting to my emotions.

I have also implemented and kept new habits such as 45-minute daily meditation practice, writing at least 1000 words per day, doing yoga 4 times per week, following a plant-based diet, sleeping from 10 pm to 6 am, and much more.

So whatever you do, be patient. Remember the compound effect—very often, the results are not linear, and then one day, BOOM, everything changes.

Give yourself the chance to see that day. Don’t give up, and the results will show.

Complete checklist of all the steps:

(Click here to get the Checklist .pdf)

Ask yourself relevant questions regarding the frequency, nature and triggers of your bad habit, and write down the answers for greater clarity.
Draw a simple habit tracker in your journal (a calendar will also do), and for a few weeks take note of how often you do your habit.
Ask yourself the question “What do I feel that makes me do this habit?”, and answer with a feeling.
Ask yourself the question “What need does my bad habit meet that alleviates this feeling?”, and answer with a need.
After you have both answers, write down your conclusion: “I [do bad habit] because it brings me [need met] when I am [feeling]”. Keep it in your journal or somewhere you can see it every day.
Replace your bad habit with a good habit that meets the same need, that you enjoy doing, that is easy, beneficial and measurable. Whenever you feel the urge to do the old habit, do the new one instead.
Remove the cues in your environment that trigger your urge to do your bad habit—this will reduce the need for constant effort to resist temptation.
Remove the craving for your bad habit by implementing regular tiny habits that help keep the need behind it met.
Use the habit stacking method to make your tiny habits easier to implement.
Get some support by finding an accountability partner, a “habit buddy”, or by getting professional help such as a coach or therapist.
Answer the question “How will my life change when I quit this habit?”
Keep the answers in your journal or on a poster on the wall and use them as your daily source of motivation when you feel discouraged.
Use a habit tracker to measure your progress (track times you resisted an urge, replaced the old habit, or did healthy tiny habits)
If you want, track other metrics such as your mood and energy levels to gather more data and make you more effective.
Decrease the intensity of the rewarding feeling you get from your bad habit by repeating the negative consequences out loud before you do it—this will make you less likely to repeat it in the future.
Practice meditation (start with 5 minutes a day) to increase emotional resilience, which will help you better resist cravings and stick with healthy habits.
Remind yourself that, one day, you already lived without the bad habit. Therefore, you can do it again.

8 Ways To Control Your Emotions (Instead of Being Controled by Them)

2019-01-09T00:00:00+00:00

If you want to be emotionally stronger, you need an emotional workout.

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
—Oscar Wilde

We know that in order to get physically stronger and achieve our fitness goals, we need to exercise our body.

What most people don’t know is that emotional strength also requires practice.

Think about the next few steps as a powerful emotional workout that you can practice at home every day.

Just like going to the gym, it might take you a while to see the results. However, if you stick with the practice, they will inevitably show.

You will gain complete control over what you say during heated arguments, instead of letting out hurtful words that you’ll later regret.

Receiving negative feedback from a colleague will no longer put you on the defensive or damage your self-esteem.

You will no longer need to smoke, check social media, or bite your nails whenever you feel anxious, because your muscles will be strong and flexible enough to handle the weight of any emotion.

1. Stop Trying To Control Your Emotions

Imagine you’re driving on a highway at 100mph, and suddenly you hear a really loud sound coming from the engine of your car.

Would you put on your earplugs so as not to hear it anymore? Of course not. That would just make the problem worse and potentially put you in danger.

Just like the weird sound from the engine of our car, our emotions are not the problem itself—they are a symptom, a sign that something in our life needs fixing.

However, we often insist on putting on our metaphoric earplugs by numbing our emotions with food, social media, or Netflix marathons.

So how can we start listening to the cause instead of trying to fix the symptoms?

Here’s an exercise you can do either as a daily routine, or when you feel a specific emotion surfacing:

Close your eyes, and bring your attention inwardly.
Instead of trying to escape your emotion, just sit with it. Observe it as if it wasn’t yours—just like a scientist examining a new specimen.
Ask yourself questions. Where is it in your body? How strongly do you feel it? Have you ever felt it before?

Get close to your emotions. Stop fearing them, and start curiously studying them—and eventually you will be able to see patterns, draw conclusions, and come up with solutions.

2. Name Your Feelings

Studies show that giving names to your emotions actually makes you feel them less.

_“To reduce arousal, you need to use just a few words to describe an emotion, and ideally use symbolic language, which means using indirect metaphors, metrics, and simplifications of your experience. This requires you to activate your prefrontal cortex, which reduces the arousal in the limbic system. Here’s the bottom line: describe an emotion in just a word or two, and it helps reduce the emotion.”
_—David Rock in “Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long”

Create the habit of asking yourself “how do I feel?” (to help you remember, create a trigger, such as asking the question every time you check your phone, or every time you close a door, or have a sip of water).

3. Harness Your Attention Skills

In order to deeply listen to your emotions, you need to be able to control your attention.

Otherwise, as you try to focus, you will find your mind constantly thinking about what to make for dinner or reviewing random Harry Potter scenes in a loop.

A great way to cultivate stable attention is through meditation.

A big misconception about meditation is that you’re supposed to keep your mind empty at all times. This is absurd, because it’s impossible (and as a result of this expectation, a lot of people end up feeling frustrated and giving up on meditation altogether).

One of the goals of meditation is to cultivate stable attention. You don’t do that by trying to clear your mind. You do it by:

Locking your attention on the meditation object (the of the best objects for beginners is the breath, due to its accessibility and simplicity);
Observing other things/distractions (work-related worries, outside noises, Voldemort killing Cedric Diggory, etc.) without engaging in them. That means that you see them as they come, and then you let them go, without getting lost in them and without forgetting about the meditation object.

Start by focusing on your breath. Then, as you develop your attention skills, you will be able to apply them to something more abstract, such as your emotions.

As your meditation practice develops, you will gradually gain a much higher understanding of your emotions.

You will let go of the tendency to identify with them (“I am so impatient!”), and instead start accepting them as neutral, temporary conditions (“I am feeling some impatience right now. How interesting!”)

You will learn how to use your emotions as fuel for your thoughts and actions, instead of letting them control your mind.

You will start distinguishing the nuances of how different emotions affect the very way your mind works, and eventually discover their deeper cause (sometimes, this will surface as old childhood memories, or a whole new range of more subtle, interesting emotions).

4. Use Your Journal to Track Your Emotions

One of the habits that completely revolutionized my emotional health was starting to track my emotions.

By writing about my emotions in my journal every day, I make it into a habit to bring them to conscious awareness, which allows me to feel more at ease with them.

How I track my emotions:

I use the Infinity Squares—a simple habit tracker where I draw one square per day and fill it in with symbols that correspond to different habits;
In each square, among other things, I track how I felt each day upon waking up, during the day, and just before bed;
I use emojis to make it simple and clear (happy, apathetic, peaceful, motivated, angry, emotional, anxious, and sad) but you can use words, or any other method that suits you.

Why do I do this?

Looking back at my emotional fluctuations gives me valuable data on:

What triggers me (for example, I might see that after a few days of not having self-time, I feel overwhelmed, and therefore prevent that in the future);
My emotional cycles (this might not be the case for you, but usually around the new moon I know that I should be extra patient with myself and take more rest);
What makes me feel good (when I wake up at 6 am, I feel super productive and energized; when I go for a long walk, I feel inspired; when I journal for longer, I feel enhanced clarity).

5. Write Down Your Dreams

One of the purposes of our dreams is to help us process our daily emotions.

That’s the work of our subconscious mind. However, if we bring our dreams to our conscious awareness, we are able to speed up that process.

We can do that by keeping a dream journal.

An example: I recently dreamt that my grandad had died and I felt super guilty for not having said everything I wanted to him. I woke up full of anxiety, but when I wrote it down and processed it I realized that I often feel guilty and restless due to not voicing my feelings as much as I would like towards my family.

Without this insight, it would probably take me months to come to this realization. This way, I fixed it immediately, and my family relationships improved drastically.

How to keep a dream journal?

Every morning, right after you wake up, write down as much as you can remember from your dreams.
If you don’t remember much at first, don’t worry—dream recall will improve the more you bring your attention to it.
Take note of the feelings that marked you the most during your dreams.
Don’t pressure yourself to interpret it or gain insight from every dream—our subconscious manifests ideas in a way that can’t be understood consciously. Instead, focus on the feelings, and only draw conclusions from there.

6. Wear Your ‘Giraffe Ears’

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
—Viktor E. Frankl

When we feel angry or frustrated or sad, our tendency is to blame—either ourselves and our behavior, or the person or event who triggered it.

However, as our emotions are signs that something inside of us needs our attention, this impulsive reaction to look for external blame is unnecessary and pointless.

Feeling angry is not bad—every emotion is valid, and it can be useful for our growth. What is bad is punching our friend in the face or shouting at our kids as a reaction to that anger.

So how can we properly digest the emotion, so that we can communicate it in a nonviolent way, protecting our relationships and contributing to our own emotional development?

Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication (Affiliate link), uses a great metaphor for that.

When someone else’s behaviour triggers you, you can either wear your ‘giraffe ears’, or your ‘jackal ears’.

When your jackal ears are on, you can only hear personal attacks, hurtful words, or an intention to cause you pain—you take everything personally.

However, when you wear your giraffe ears, you are able to hear the true motives behind what the other person is telling you: their own pain, their insecurities, their attempt to protect themselves and seek love the best way they can—just like you.

When you train your ears to hear the other person’s emotions, you are also developing your own emotional awareness. By not reacting, but instead listening and empathizing, you are giving yourself space to find the “message” behind your own emotions, while probably saving a lot of your relationships in the meantime.

7. Use Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Okay, let’s be realistic.

Not always will we be able to stop and listen to our emotions in silence, meditating or investigating their origin.

Sometimes, we just feel way too much for that, and we just want to eat, smoke, scream at someone or punch a wall.

However, it is possible to find a middle ground between those two—we just need to replace our destructive coping mechanisms with healthy ones.

I spent years struggling with food addiction. But every time I tried to stop myself from doing it, it felt so hard that the next time I would just give in to the addiction even further.

Now, I no longer try to stop myself from eating, but instead I replace that activity with something else: going for a walk, watching an inspirational video on Youtube, calling a friend.

It’s been months since I stopped eating emotionally. Gradually, I stopped using coping mechanisms for emotional eating altogether, because I became so comfortable with my emotions that the habit barely surfaces anymore.

8. Practice Vulnerability

A lot of us have a really hard time talking about our feelings because we see them as a weakness.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

In her Ted talk, Brenè Brown talks about the power of vulnerability in making us stronger and bringing closeness into our relationships.

Despite what you may think, when you open up and share your feelings, most people will feel much more attracted to you.

Why?

Because in today’s world, we crave authenticity. We want to see real, honest, open people. And that’s rare.

Opening up with other people will give you a deeper understanding of your emotions because it allows you to hear your own words out loud, and accepting the validity of what you are feeling.

So next time you feel sad or angry, call your best friend. Do not confuse sharing with projecting (call her to say “Hey, I’ve been feeling really angry”, not “Who do you think you are for having talked to me like that?”)

If someone shares their feelings with you, do for them what you would like to receive: listen with your giraffe ears, hold space, and empathize.

Be In Control

What’s the main takeaway from this?

I would put it this way: if you want to control your emotions, stop trying to control your emotions.

Instead, aim at controlling your reactions to your emotions, and start using your emotions for something positive.

Stop numbing them.

Stop hiding them.

Stop finding someone to blame.

Stop trying to fix them as if they were wrong.

Just stop, and give yourself time to listen. To process. To understand.

And then, you will be in control.

If You Want Success, Take More Cleaning Breaks

2018-12-28T00:00:00+00:00

1 simple habit to increase productivity and declutter your life

26th of December.

I wake up and find the kitchen full of unwashed dishes from last-minute Christmas preparations.

My whole flat is covered in a 3-week old layer of dust, neglected in favour of gift-making, card-writing and general excitement about the holidays.

As usual, during this time of the year, the last few weeks have been especially unproductive when it comes to work, and as usual, I react to that fact with anxiety.

“It’s time to get back to work”, I think. A ton of articles to finish. A full inbox to reply to. Meetings to schedule. I feel overwhelmed, and I can’t even think where to start.

But I do it anyway. However, as I sit on my desk and try to push myself to start, it feels as if the mess around me is also cluttering my head, and I can’t bring myself to focus. Even though I feel the pressure and excitement to be productive, my whole body and mind beg me, screaming, to just grab a freaking trash bin and a hoover and bring some order to the place.

At first, I fight the urge to clean. “For sure it’s just my subconscious trying to convince me to procrastinate”, I tell myself.

But as push through, I notice that my brain isn’t working. I feel stuck. My ideas don’t flow. My eyes keep moving from the used envelopes on the table to the pile of unwashed dishes I am supposed to clean and return to my mom (who, of course, gave me a week worth of delicious post-Christmas leftovers).

So I finally decided to give in. I stopped what I was doing, I switched on the music, and I started decluttering and cleaning.

And it changed my mood for the rest of the day.

Even if at first a feeling of guilt was creeping in, I made a point to completely eliminate work-related thoughts from my mind. After a few hours of dusting and dancing, organizing, and creating a giveaway pile of things I no longer needed, my mood was completely different.

My mind was unlocked. My energy was back up. I had space.

And guess what? I loved the process of getting rid of things while letting my brain rest.

And in the end, my mind was so clear that a few days later I had either processed, completed or scheduled everything I had on my list.

Your Subconscious Needs To Breathe

In his book The Art of Thought (affiliate link), English psychologist Graham Wallas proposes that every creative process needs an incubation phase.

That means that, after you go through the preparation phase (formulating problems, thinking, reading, writing, etc.), you will often hit a wall that can only be taken down by stepping away from the problem and letting your subconscious process it for a while.

The act of cleaning and decluttering is not only a great way to provide that distance and facilitate the incubation process of ideas, but it is often very necessary as an end result in itself.

In my case, not only was I feeling a creative block that day, but I also felt that the mess around me was a huge factor contributing to that.

Research shows that clutter reduces productivity. Another study proves that not only does clutter cause stress, but it also triggers coping mechanisms such as emotional eating and binge-watching Netflix, which further damage your productivity and mental peace.

There are countless types of clutter that we tend to surround ourselves with: useless objects in our house, ads on TV, pop-up windows and other digital distractions, multitasking tendencies, restless thoughts keeping us from focusing on the task at hand, and so on.

Imagine the most cluttered room you have ever seen (for me, my grandma’s basement is the perfect example!)

Picture yourself having to move things out of your way to get to a desk, which is so full of objects that you have to remove a few in order to find space to place your laptop or your notebook.

Now think about an empty, white, spacious room full of light, with only a desk and a chair in the middle. Maybe an inspiring painting or two on the walls, and a few comfort items such as a sofa, a pretty lamp and a cup of your favourite tea.

In which of these rooms do you imagine it being easier to be productive?

Even if you don’t go as far as your grandma’s basement, the truth is that a lot of us get negatively influenced by the clutter around us without even noticing.

And I am not just talking about physical objects; for me, one of the biggest points of resistance when it comes to productivity is switching on my laptop only to find a desktop full of random files, and a slow machine due to having way too many apps installed.

Take It One Step at a Time

The good news is, decluttering can be not only fun but also very healing.

Lately, whenever I feel stuck, tired, or overwhelmed, I take the time to clean/organize/declutter something.

Here are some of the benefits I have been experiencing when I take decluttering breaks:

My subconscious has space to process previous thoughts and activities, usually ending up in enhanced mental clarity;
I create empty space around me, which brings me a deep feeling of tranquility;
I accomplish something, which motivates me to keep on being active;
I feel more in control of my environment, which makes me feel empowered;
I give myself a break, and look at the situation from a different perspective;
If I am decluttering a physical space, I get to move my body and that always makes me feel much, much better.

Now, this is not to be confused with an excuse procrastinate—if you find yourself doing this way too often as a way to escape your work or tasks, then you might want to re-evaluate your intentions.

Don’t Run Out of Decluttering Ideas—Be Creative!

Now, if you want to make this decluttering routine even more effective, you can make a list of areas in your life that need cleaning.

I usually keep a spread in my notebook for that, and I add items to it whenever I remember.

As I look at this list often, it often happens that the need to create space pops into my awareness.

Then, whenever I need a break, or whenever I feel that my mind is tired and confused, I dedicate anything from 5 minutes to a few hours to one of the items on my list, and as a result my brain usually feels as decluttered as the space I have just cleaned.

This is a recent practice for me, but I am planning on implementing it as one of my go-to rest/short break ideas for the upcoming year, as it has proven so powerful since I started dedicating more time to it in the last few days.

I am committing to making this a regular practice, as it not only helps me clear my brain and be more productive, but by the end of the year all fields of my life will be considerably more spacious (and I by breaking it down in short breaks I will avoid whole days of emergency cleaning!)

If you want to join me, here are some ideas.

4 Areas to Declutter Regularly

Your Workspace

Empty your desk of all objects and find a place for them in a cupboard.
Give or throw away any stationary or other tools you don’t use anymore.
Remove any decoration you don’t enjoy and hang something on the wall that will keep you motivated when you look at it, like an inspiring picture or a mantra.
Dust or hoover the room where you work.

Your Admin

For me, my journal is where I stay on top of and organize my whole life (for you, it might be your phone or laptop).

Reduce the number of goals you set out to achieve and focus on one or two at a time.
Create shorter to-do lists (according to Tim Ferriss, they should fit in a tiny post-it paper).
Choose 1-3 healthy habits you want to start, and create a habit tracker for them. I use the Infinity Squares.

Your Digital Space

Get your email to Inbox Zero.
Change your background to plain black to avoid distractions and save battery.
Remove all icons from your desktop and place them in the appropriate folders.
Uninstall all apps that slow down your device and only cause distractions (my life completely changed since I uninstalled Facebook and Instagram from my phone).
Reply to emails you have been postponing forever.

Your Belongings

Go through your clothes and give away anything you haven’t used for more than 2 months (if you have too many clothes, choose 1 to 5 in each break you want to take).
Throw away all the expired food in your fridge and cupboards.
Use the KonMari method to get rid of objects that don’t bring you joy.

Create More Space for Productivity In 2019

This is a great way not only to unlock your brain in times of need but also to start living a simpler, more clutter-free life.

If you want to embrace this technique and maximize your breaks and your work time in 2019, here’s what to do:

Make a list of all the areas that need decluttering in your life, and keep it where you can see it (if you keep a journal, that’s a great place!)

Whenever you feel a creative block, frustration, or emotional overwhelm, choose one of those items and so some cleaning!

Dream Journaling – The Ultimate Guide to Unlock Your Hidden Creativity

2018-12-10T00:00:00+00:00

There is a part of your mind where you have been forgetting to look.

Do you know that feeling when your mind is full of amazing ideas, and your creativity seems to be at its peak?

And do you know how it feels when that doesn’t happen at all? When your creative juices are all dried up, your brain is foggy and you can’t come up with any idea that is even decent?

Well, you’re not the only one.

That happens with me all the time—especially when I write. Sometimes I have it in me, some other times I don’t.

So how do I harness my creative power so that I can always feel on top of my productivity?

I have discovered a solution that has has transformed my arbitrary bursts of creativity into a reliable source of precious insight, and that’s what I want to share with you today.

The Part of Your Mind You Have Been Neglecting

Surrealist artist Salvador Dali used to purposely fall asleep with a heavy and loud object in his hand.

In the moment when his body transitioned from waking to sleeping state and his mind started creating the first dream imagery, his suddenly relaxed hand would drop the loud object on the floor, and bring the painter to an immediate state of wakeful awareness.

Why would he do this? By waking himself up right before his dreams started to form, he was able to keep a vivid memory of the dreamscape, and use it as inspiration for his art.

Our dreams give us precious insight into a part of our mind which we can rarely access while we are awake: our subconscious.

“Carl Gustav Jung felt that Freud had merely scratched the surface, and came to believe that the sexual symbolism in dreams was often merely another façade, obscuring deeper, non-sexual, spiritual meanings and psychic functions.” — Charlie Morley, Dreams of Awakening

In our dreams, the rational part of our brain stops dominating, creating a place where our creative mind can finally express itself after our thinking-oriented waking routines. In other words, our dreams allow us to directly tackle our most authentic source of inspiration, by giving us access to the deepest parts of our creative identity.

Dream Journaling: Reconnect With Your Hidden Creativity

It’s been a few years since I started exploring the potential of dreams and the sleeping state for accelerated personal growth. It all started with my interest for dream interpretation and the psychoanalytic theories of Freud and Jung, and it soon developed into my hands-on intensive practice of lucid dreaming and enhanced states of consciousness.

However fascinating and transformative the world of lucid dreams might be, it’s not what I want to talk about in this article. However, there is one specific lucid dreaming practice that proved to have unexpected benefits in my creative life: dream journaling.

I started writing down my dreams every morning as a technique to achieve lucidity during sleep: I was using it to improve my dream recall, to recognize dream signs, and to train my brain to be familiar with my dream world. If you want to learn more about lucid dreaming, here is a book (affiliate link) I recommend.

However, I soon realized that this practice was also influencing other aspects of my life.

When you get into the habit of writing down your dreams everyday after you wake up, you are sending a message to your brain saying that your dreams matter. Therefore, you will become better and better at remembering them.

As I exponentially improved my dream recall abilities, I started noticing fascinating patterns about my personality, and getting unexpected ideas for creative projects I was working on. I started making connections between my dreamworld and my waking life, and discovering a whole new world of artistic possibilities.

How Dream Journaling Blew my Mind — With Examples

Understanding my Challenging Emotions and Creative Blocks

According to J. Allan Hobson (in Dreaming, Oxford University Press, 2005), the main purpose of dreaming is “to facilitate the consolidation and advancement of procedural learning” — in other words, to summarize and process our memories in a way that will improve our survival skills by allowing our mind to replay them and learn from certain emotions and dream situations.

When I sit down in front of my notebook in the morning, one thing I always look for when trying to recall my dreams is the emotions I felt in that dream.

Here is an excerpt from my dream journal that might help us analyze this with more detail:

16/12/2017__I am back in my hometown. I am guiding a “tour” for a group of four people: one of them is Rachel* from my university; the other ones are three young males that I find attractive, and they make me feel shy.

I feel confused regarding where to take them. I suggest a couple of places, including a park. Rachel comments “Park? That’s not even a park, it’s a swamp.” I feel furious when she says this, and embarrassed that the other guys heard it. I don’t make any more suggestions with fear of being judged.

However, in order to feel better, I tell a witty joke to Rachel; I realize that I do this in order to be accepted by her. When she and the guys laugh, I feel much better, more empowered.

Just by looking at this short dream example and the emotions I felt in it, I was able to learn and integrate some precious information. The feelings and situations in the dream were extremely relatable to my waking life, and I could make the connection immediately

When I was in university, my interactions with Rachel were triggering the same anger and annoyance as in this dream. Since then, there are a few other people and social situations that make me feel the same — Dream-Rachel was a way of my brain to represent those emotions and help me notice them.
Throughout the week that preceded this dream I had been meeting some new people and feeling generally shy around them, and just like in the dream I was keeping myself from sharing my ideas because of my fear of being rejected. Again, the dream made it obvious that this was a frustrating creative block in my life. It was also keeping me from pitching my work to possible clients, and from reaching out to start artistic collaborations with some creative people around me.
Probably the most important thing I found out was my instinctive reaction to use my sense of humor to hide my true feelings. Not only do I tend to do that in social situations, but also in my writing. By having it enhanced by the dream, I was reminded of how much I dislike this tendency of mine, and I was reminded to avoid it.

Accessing Pure Creativity and Brilliant Ideas Within the Subconscious Mind

Sometimes I have certain dreams that seem kind of magical. How so? I don’t know, they just have so much symbolism and artistic depth that I believe they are valuable messages from my inner self, waiting to be deciphered.

They don’t happen every night, but when they do, they bring me direct inspiration and concrete ideas for creative projects that I might be currently working on.

This is exactly what happened in a beautifully mysterious dream I had recently:

18/12/2017__I am part of a Celtic pagan festival. It is the middle of the night, and there are candles and body painted people in cloaks all around me.

There are different groups, and each plays a different role at the festival. My friend Raven* is leading the group that I want to be part of.

In order to be accepted to the group, me and the other candidates have to go through a ritual. Raven sits on the floor with a candle in front of her, and we have to walk past her without putting away the candle’s flame.

I feel very nervous, and I really want to be accepted. I am standing in the back of the queue and I see everyone in front of me entering the group successfully, despite all the wind made by the cloaks as they walk past the candle. As my turn arrives, I hesitate: I grab my cloak to keep it from making too much wind, and then I pass successfully.

Once in the group, we are divided in pairs. My pair is Hannah*, a girl who used to be part of my class in high school. I am not super excited to be paired up with her — we were never close friends and I never felt particularly attracted by her personality — but I accept it.

She tells me that in each pair there is a “mother” and a “child”. She tells me that I should take on the role of mother, and she explains that I will be responsible for guiding her and nurturing her throughout the festival. This makes me happy, and I feel empowered and confident.

So what kind of creative input did I get from this dream?
One thing that is very important to note is that dreams communicate with us in a special language: we can’t just expect to understand them by interpreting everything literally — we have to pay attention to the symbols.

In this specific dream, there were two details that inspired me.
One of them was the ritual with the candle. By analyzing it in hindsight, I was fascinated by the subtle beauty created by my sleeping mind. I found it amazing that my dreaming imagination could come up with a practical selection mechanism based on such volatile and delicate natural phenomena (fire and wind and body movement). I got inspiration from nature, embraced its unique simplicity and used it as a tool.

The other detail was the “mother-child” dynamics. The first thing this made me realize was the fact that taking initiative and supporting others is a great tool to help me feel more confident. Apart from that, this leading-following dynamic based on parental guidance gave me ideas for new written material, for improving my relationship with my partner, and for new content for the project we are working on together.

Practical Tips: How To Keep a Dream Journal

Just like dreams and sleeping patterns vary from person to person, so do dream journaling techniques — so be aware that whatever works for other people might need to be tweaked in order to become your ideal practice. However, if you are new to dream journaling, I have some tips that have been helping me stick to my routine, as well as making it the most efficient possible for creative purposes.

1. Set an intention to remember your dreams. “How can I keep a dream journal if I can’t even remember my dreams?” you might ask. Well, if you don’t remember your dreams, it’s likely that you have never given it a serious try. Our brains are highly susceptible: if you decide that you want to remember your dreams and interiorize this intention every night before falling asleep, you will see your memory improving and soon you will have much better dream recall.

2. Do it everyday. The more you tell your brain that your dreams are important, the more you will remember them, and the more information you will be able to get every night. It’s as simple as that.

3. Do it first thing after you wake up. Have you ever experienced remembering your dreams very vividly in the first five minutes after you wake up and the next moment having them completely vanished? As soon as waking life worries and commitments enter our morning thoughts, the memory of our dreams is as good as gone. So do it straight after you wake up — if you still struggle, I recommend not moving your body for the first 2 or 3 minutes, as this will help you keep the memory more vivid.

4. For better results, wake up 3 hours earlier and go back to sleep. The last hours of our sleep have the longest REM cycles, which is the period of sleep during which we dream. Therefore, if you set your alarm for 2 or 3 hours before you usually wake up and write down your dreams, you will likely hit an REM period right in the middle, which will make your it much easier to remember your dreams (whereas if you only do it in the morning, you will only remember the last dreams you had).

5. Don’t try to write everything down. As you develop your dream recall skills, you might be tempted to try and write down every single detail from your dreams. Maybe that works for you, but I found that when I obsessed about registering everything I would soon get frustrated and lose motivation due to the amount of time I would spend journaling. So pay attention to the most important details: what were the strongest emotions you felt in your dream (anger? fear? pure ecstasy? arousal?); any major life changing conclusions? Any useful/inspiring information? Soon you will be able to discern what pieces of information matter to you, so allow yourself space to explore.

6. Use a notebook with nice paper and a pen that is a pleasure to write with. When you begin this practice you might feel discouraged and tired, and your sleepy mind will find all the excuses to go back to bed instead of writing down your dreams. So make it as easy as possible for your morning self: place your notebook by your bed — and maybe open it on the right page with the date already written there.

All the dream characters have fictional names.

6 Reasons Why People Who Journal On a Daily Basis Are Happier

2018-10-26T00:00:00+00:00

You probably have at least one friend who always carries a journal with her.

When you have a conversation, she takes notes of important ideas and thoughts (and she actually uses them later).

She never forgets her appointments because she immediately puts them down on her calendar.

She has told you before how she journals in the morning, or how it calms her down to spend the evening alone with her notebook and a cup of tea — and she never misses an opportunity to brag about what a big part of her life this is.

And you just can’t get your head around it.

It sounds like so much work. You’ve tried it before, and you always ended up dropping the habit. “I’ve got better ways to spend my time”, you think.

However, you have probably noticed that this friend has a special glow to her. Somehow, she seems to have it together. She always seems unusually… happy.

And the truth is, it’s not a coincidence.

Countless successful and brilliant personalities such as Winston Churchill or Leonardo DaVinci had one common secret to remain calm and happy while leading lives that changed the world. You guessed it:

Journaling.

So how come such a simple practice can have such a huge impact on the well-being, happiness, and overall success of people who do it?

1. They Know What They Want (And How To Get There)

Regardless of what’s your journaling method of choice (using it to process emotions, bullet journaling to plan your life and work, or even randomly writing about whatever comes to your mind), the truth is that all of them give you one common, priceless opportunity:

Self-reflection.

Therefore, it often happens that habitual journalers who write about their lives start noticing useful patterns:

“It seems that when I write that I had coffee, the morning after I usually feel anxious — perhaps I should work on quitting.”
“Every time I meet with my friend Kelly I write how sad and discouraged I feel afterwards — it might be better to start hanging out more with people who inspire and uplift me.”
“When was the last time I exercised? 2 weeks ago? That explains why my energy levels have been down — let’s get back on it!”

From this place of deep wisdom, they can actually set goals that make sense for them.

And because they usually write about (or even track) their progress, they often end up achieving them.

My personal favourite is the Infinity Squares: a 30-second, super fun and simple system that allows me to track the habits that matter the most and get a great overview of my progress.

2. Unlike Most People, They Know Who They (Truly) Are

Perhaps even more important than knowing what you want, journaling gives you the opportunity to know who you are.

By taking time every day to stop and observe their inner world, people who journal every day can see details about themselves that most of us seem to miss: what makes them sad and what makes them laugh; their ups and downs and their past selves and how their hopes and dreams changed since a few months ago.

The act of writing down and thinking about your life is a mindfulness exercise, and it’s been proven that mindfulness improves your brain abilities, therefore allowing you to understand yourself better.

And then, take action to make your life happier.

3. They Keep Their Right Brain In Shape

In a world full of noise, automated routines and boring tasks, it can be challenging for us to get a chance exercise our right brain — the part that is responsible for creativity, self-expression and imagination — which is crucial if we want to live a happy and balanced life.

So how come this has anything to do with journaling?

First, when you journal — even if you are simply writing about your day — you are engaging your left brain. When the left brain is occupied, your right brain is able to wake up and fantasize, feel and dream.

But there is more: people who journal everyday often do it in a creative way.

Whether it’s drawing or doodling, dreaming about the future, planning, or even writing fiction, they allow their creative selves to come to life, and consequently learn how to bring their creativity into their everyday lives, relationships and important choices.

4. They Never Feel Lonely (And They Love Being Alone)

When you visit your journal every day, it becomes your safe refuge.

It becomes your friend.

A friend who doesn’t judge, and who’s always there to listen.

A friend who mirrors your words and thoughts back at you, and that helps you understand life at your own pace.

A friend who is always eager to hold space for your confessions, for your tears, for your brilliant ideas, for your wildest thoughts, for… your true self.

People who journal every day are making this relationship stronger. Just like having a drink with a good friend, they look forward for that sacred time of creating, venting, dreaming — and often of deep, spiritual learning.

When you spend that quiet time with your journal every day, not only do you get a best friend for life — you also re-learn how to become friends with yourself.

And that’s the first step towards true, long-lasting happiness.

5. They Don’t Make Mistakes (Instead, They Learn Lessons)

How many times have you disappointed yourself last week?

How many times have you broken your new diet, chose Netflix over working on exciting projects, failed to stand your ground when your boss asked you to work yet another extra day?

For people who journal every day, it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter because they know that tomorrow it yet another day.

They made a mistake, they cried over it, but then they proceeded to observe their emotions and brainstorm solutions.

And as the new day came, they started again.

They read what they wrote before with a pair of fresh eyes, and they understand how to learn from it.

Then they list how grateful they feel for all the good things that make all the the challenges seem harmless.

And finally, they write their new, exciting intentions for the new day, setting new goals that make them even more excited than the ones from yesterday.

And if they fail again… it doesn’t matter. Because the real pleasure is in becoming better and better every day, one step at a time.

6. They Are The Masters of Their Own Thoughts

Just had a great idea that could change the world? Write it down.

Caught yourself hiding from your true power based on someone else’s judgemental words? Take a note of it, and decide to act differently next time.

Want to feel empowered, energized and motivated tomorrow morning when you wake up? Put it on your journal.

Make it real. Tell your brain that it can happen. Take ownership of your thoughts and transform thoughts into actions.

This is what habitual journalers are doing every single day: they are changing the world around them simply by realizing their power to influence their own reality.

First, observe your thoughts. Then, learn how to tame your mind and use it to grow.

Next step, you will find yourself changing the world. Not only will you be happy, but you will also bring happiness to everyone around you.

Still Unsure If Journaling Is For You?

When you start making journaling a daily habit, you will see your life changing in all fields.

A journal is like a command centere of your life — it keeps it all together, and therefore creates harmony and clarity.

I get it, it might seem daunting to start. However, there is one bulletproof way to make sure you don’t fail before you even begin:

Start simple.

Don’t overwhelm yourself. Start by jotting down a few thoughts for 5 minutes a day. As time goes by, you will feel your brain begin to unlock, and without any pressure the practice will come naturally and effortlessly.

Within a few weeks, your whole life might be completely transformed.

How I Used My Journal To Free Up 10+ Hours Per Week

2018-10-26T00:00:00+00:00

You work.

A lot.

And when you finish work, then you work some more.

You reply to emails. You do the dishes, make dinner, do your laundry, walk the dog. You do people favors and take care of your loved ones because you are a good person, but at the end of the day you always end up with no time for yourself.

Or maybe it’s not even about work.

Maybe you simply watch the days flying by, wondering where the hell all your time went. You punish yourself not only because you weren’t productive, but because you were so numb and lost in space that you didn’t even get to enjoy yourself.

It feels like you’re missing out on life.

I know how you feel. I have been there.

And the most amazing thing is, I got out of it. No magic. No herculean efforts.

Today, I will tell you the story of how I overcame my lack of time and freed up over 10 hours a week to do the things I want, by using only one simple tool that is available to you too:

Journaling.

Suffocated, Hopeless and Exhausted

That was me, for most of my life.

Since I can remember myself, I have always started working on assignments the day before the deadline.

My friends would often invite me to go out for dinner or drinks, and I would reply “not today, I need to stay home and do some work”.

And the problem was that, even though I was refusing myself this leisure time — going out with friends, working on my hobbies, resting, having fun — I didn’t even feel that productive when I chose to stay home and work instead.

I had no free time, no productivity, and no happiness — and my response? Work more.

Then 2 years ago I decided to start my own business.

Things changed slightly — I was now producing more results because I was finally doing something I really loved, however I was dedicating up to 14 hours a day to make it work.

I started losing friendships, my anxiety hit unprecedented peaks, and I am even ashamed to admit the amount of coffee I was consuming on a daily basis.

And then, there came the day that changed it all.

The Day When I Hit Rock Bottom

It had been around 1 year since I had started my business.

I was doing so much, yet I always felt like I could (and should) do more. I was working on my own, so I had to take care of everything, and all the responsibility was on my shoulders.

But one day, I just couldn’t take it any longer, and my body and soul started giving in.

That day I woke up and I couldn’t make myself move out of bed. I felt terrified and exhausted at the same time.

When I finally managed after a few hours and I thought about all the tasks I had planned for myself for that day, I started crying uncontrollably. What was I doing with my life?

When was the last time I had stopped to read a book? To catch up with my friends and family? When was the last time I watched a movie, or went out for a long walk without the pressure of thinking about solutions for this or that work related problem?

Even though I felt the pressure to continue, that day my body just didn’t allow me. I was starting to feel ill, a fever beginning to show, and then I knew it:

I had to stop.

So I spent the day on the sofa, with a blanket and some warm tea, and suddenly the obvious hit me: I had to change the way I was living my life. If I wanted to make my business work — what the hell, if I wanted to survive — I would have to slow down.

Way. Down.

I would have to get back my free time.

I would have to be able to breathe.

How I Went From >9h to <4h Workdays

I had just started reading personal development articles and looking for solutions for my poor time management skills when I came across a few articles about journaling.

Apparently, there were lots of people using their journal to stay on top of their lives, build healthy routines, and become more productive.

It sounded like something that could work for me.

So I started reading and getting inspired, and after a while of experimenting I found the first way in which my journaling practice could help me solve my problem:

Collecting data.

I was using it to get information about myself — as much as possible — with a few different methods, which allowed me to see patterns and identify specific problems:

Interstitial journaling

The basic idea is to replace to-do lists with journaling: in between projects or activities and while taking breaks, I would journal a few sentences about what I had just done and what I was about to do.

Benefits: I learned how much time it was really taking me to do things, my most productive hours, which projects felt best at different times of the day, which activities made me the most tired, and I learned how to take more effective breaks.

Tracking

I started tracking habits — especially health related ones. What I ate that day, which substances (such as stimulants or sugar) I consumed, if I exercised (for how long and what kind of exercise), if I overate, how each food felt in my body (and how it affected my mind), etc.

Benefits: I learned a lot about what makes me feel at my best, and started fueling my body with the right foods, so that I could be more focused during my working hours, therefore feeling less guilty to stop working early and having a proper rest.

Grading and evaluating

How did I feel today, from 1 to 5? How was my productivity? My energy levels? My mood? How much free time did I get today? How happy am I with how I organized my day?

Benefits: I gradually started allowing myself to flow with my natural cycles. For example, it became obvious that my energy levels and my mood were much lower when I overworked (and even though I knew that before, it was only theory — now I had proof), so I could finally convince myself that overworking was seriously damaging me.

What If I Can Just… Stop Doing It?

So what did I do with all the information I gathered?

My main conclusion was that there were a lot of habits and behaviors in my routine that weren’t benefiting me: scrolling down my social media feed, drinking way too much coffee, sleeping less that 8 hours per night — the list could go on and on.

So I did something very simple: I stopped doing those things.

I know what you’re thinking: “That’s easier said than done!”

But the truth is that it didn’t happen overnight. I took my time. I quit one habit at a time, and I kept on tracking to test the differences in how I felt.

The more I changed, the more relaxed I felt, the more productive my work became, and the more I allowed myself to rest and do other things I love such as reading, taking at least 2 days off every week, and spending time doing absolutely nothing.

But I didn’t stop there. It still wasn’t perfect.

When I Thought I Couldn’t Simplify Any Further… I Was Surprised. Again.

Sometimes I still questioned my decisions, and some of my old unhealthy habits started creeping back in (one more cup of coffee can’t hurt, right?)

Every few days the stress and anxiety would come back; I would lose my clarity and balance, and suddenly I was pushing myself again with more and more tasks, longer working hours, and that voice inside me that whispers “You can’t stop — you need to do more! More! MORE!”

And then it hit me: quitting bad habits was a good first step, but I needed something more.

I needed a point of focus, something that would help me prioritize, and tell the difference between what was really necessary… and what was unnecessary, empty hustling.

That’s when I started setting myself goals.

I started setting monthly goals — only a few of them.

JANUARY GOALS

Work: Write 6 articles

Self: Finish my yoga course

Relationships: Go on a date with my partner every Sunday

I would then write those goals in my journal and look at them every day: they would be my priority.

Of course, I would have other tasks during the month, but they were secondary — these goals were my focus.

This allowed me to go even deeper with eliminating habits that didn’t serve me.

For example: I noticed from tracking my habits that I has been spending a lot of time reading about marketing. However, even though that had felt relevant at the time, now it became clear that it wasn’t a priority. So I would shift my reading material to articles or books on how to become a better writer, or some yoga and mindfulness inspiration.

Whatever activities were unrelated to my main goals could probably wait — or at least I wouldn’t stay up late replying to emails about my website server because I had decided it wasn’t a priority.

I focused on what mattered — and I was surprised at how much breathing space I finally had.

Good Ideas Are Useless… Unless We Put Them To Action

Becoming aware of your habits is good.

Quitting the ones that don’t serve you is even better.

Setting yourself goals and checking that you are in alignment with them is amazing, but…

Only in theory.

Because what if you do all of that, but then you don’t take action to make a change?

Well, most likely nothing will happen.

So how did I actually turn all this theory into practice?

Here is one of the ways I did it: I built a routine around them.

Every week I reviewed my progress, and I planned for the next one:

“How can I work towards my goals next week while keeping plenty of time for myself?”

The other thing I did was to constantly make the choice to refuse tasks that are unnecessary. Do I feel an urge to reply to all my emails when I am already tired at the end of the day?

I resist.

Do I feel the pressure to start researching for a new project, fix that bug on my website, reply to social media comments?

Not today. Because that’s not part of my current goals, therefore it’s not essential.

Today, I choose to rest. I choose to watch a movie. Read an exciting fiction book.

Do whatever I want, but not work.

Want to Radically Increase Your Free Time? Here’s What You Can Do

It’s in your power to free up 10 hours of your every week — or even more.

I’ll tell you more: it’s in your power to start that process today.

Here are 5 simple steps to do it:

For a week, journal your activities in as much detail as possible.
Woke up at 7, drank water, had breakfast (what dis you eat?), spent time on social media (how much time?), exercised (for how long? what kind of exercise?) drove to work, etc.
Which daily activities do not serve you? Stop doing them.
Do you really need to spend 20 minutes on Facebook every morning? Do you really need to have that sugary snack for your morning break?
Set yourself goals. Then stop doing what doesn’t serve those goals.
So your goals for this month are to lose 10lb and finishing the 1st draft of your novel. Sure, ironing your clothes makes them prettier, but is it really a priority? You could use that time to 1) work towards your goals, or 2) have fun with your friends!
Plan your next week so that it’s in alignment with your goals.
Maybe you want to create a new exercise routine that you love, and finish writing the first chapter. Put yourself in the right mindset. Remind yourself of it every day. When you do it, give all of yourself to it — and you will see that not only will it go faster, but the sense of accomplishment will also sweeten up your free time.
Enjoy!
Use your free time wisely — connect with your loved ones, rest, read a good book, watch a good film, go for a hike, whatever truly excites you. Because if you don’t, what will keep you motivated to have more free time after all?

Here’s What My Life Looks Like Today

It’s been a few months since I have worked afternoons on a regular basis.

I used to work up to 13, 14 hours a day. Nowadays, I work 4 hours a day maximum, and I am accomplishing more than ever before.

When I take breaks to rest and have fun, my brain works better, and I am happier. And that’s because, as I made my work time more productive, I also made my leisure time more rich and meaningful.

I feel rested, and I love what I do — more than ever before.

And I learned something that before I never thought was possible: I can love my business and be 100% dedicated to it, while also spending a lot of time without it even being on my mind.

Don’t Be Exhausted For The Rest Of Your Life

I get it, you are tired of not being able to do the things you love because “unfortunately, a day only has 24 hours”.

However, how you feel and what you achieve totally depends on what you do with those 24 hours — it’s all about focusing and stripping away the unnecessary.

As you can see, I didn’t use any magic to get where I am, with more free time in my hands than ever before in my life.

You can get there too — just grab your journal, follow the steps above, and start enjoying your new life.

7 Ways You Can Use Your Journal To Instantly Soothe Anxiety

2018-10-26T00:00:00+00:00

Your alarm clock rings, and you know it already: it’s going to be another one of those days.

A rush of stressful thoughts starts flooding your mind: so many to-do’s, problems to solve, expectations to meet — and the bare thought of getting out of bed makes you want to hide and scream. Panic starts kicking in. You feel paralyzed, hopeless, overwhelmed. How can you overcome this anxiety? You’ve you have heard it all: meditation, healthy eating, exercising, effective organizing systems in place, therapy… You have tried it all, and yet — nothing works._And how could it? How can you even think about starting to improve your life when you can barely even manage to breathe? How can you think when you’re paralyzed by the inner voice that screams _“you’re never going to be okay”?What you need right now is an instant relief. An easy, no-brainer, immediate solution. Something that will soothe that horrible feeling of despair, so that you can begin to think clearly.

The good news is, this is possible. And it’s easy.

And all you need is one object:

Your journal.

A lot of people use their journal for planning, learning, drawing or writing.

However, most of us are missing out on one kind of benefit that our journal can bring us: instantly soothing anxiety.

How?

Here are 7 simple, super-effective 5-minute journaling practices that you can use as an immediate balm to bring you back to calmness, clarity, and control.

1. Embrace Your Anxious Thoughts

One of the instincts many of us have when we face anxious thoughts is to try and deny them — push them away, think of something else. Unfortunately, this only suppresses our stress, and usually makes it surface later in worse ways.

So what can you do? There is a much better option: according to research, writing down your worries can make them go away — almost as if you are transferring them out of your head and into the paper.

Write after you wake up, grab your journal and vent all those negative thoughts into the page. You will immediately feel lighter, happier, and more relaxed.

2. Give Your Brain a Rest

Evenings can be tough.

You probably know how it feels to lie in bed for hours unable to sleep because you’re worried about your problems, about your commitments, about… the future.

One technique that can be extremely useful to remove that pressure is to write down your tasks for the next day before you go to bed. This way you will help your brain relax, letting it know that it’s all taken care of, and you won’t forget what you have to do.

If this is not enough, you can go even further. Just before bed, sit down with your journal and describe what the next day will look like. Include your tasks, how you want to feel, who you will meet:

“Tomorrow I will wake up feeling optimistic and energized. I will journal my thoughts, have a healthy breakfast, and then knock down the main 3 points on my to-do list. I will feel really accomplished after that. Then I will reply to that email I have been postponing, and then I will have lunch with my friends — it’s going to be so much fun! In the afternoon I will hit the gym. I can’t wait to move my body! After that, I will feel clear-headed and I can either do some more work or rest. In the evening, before bed, I will journal again, grateful for everything I have accomplished, knowing that it’s okay to leave some things undone.”

This exercise not only relieves your brain from the pressure of remembering and planning, but it can also be extremely relaxing!

3. Overcome Your Own Expectations

Alright, you might feel put off just by the thought of planning tasks and making to-do lists — they always end up adding more anxiety when you don’t accomplish them!

However, you can change that, by changing your belief that you are not productive.

According to research on neuroplasticity, we have the power to rewire our neurons, and consequently change the way we think and behave.

How can you do that? Just create an extremely easy to accomplish to-do list — something that’s impossible to fail. For example:

Tomorrow I will…
- Drink 2 cups of water
- Make my bed
- Journal for 3 minutes

Then, make sure you accomplish those tasks. It doesn’t matter if they seem small: what’s important is that you will be re-learning the feeling of accomplishment and pride, which will push your anxiety away.

Gradually, productivity will become a pleasure, and anxiety won’t be crippling anymore.

4. Create an “Everything Spread”

Something that causes a lot of anxiety to many people is when you have a lot of good ideas in your mind, but you don’t know how to organize them: where to take note of it so you can find it later, what to do with it, etc.

I have an extremely simple solution for you which requires no extra thinking: just create a weekly “Everything Spread” in your journal. Then, throughout the week, just take note of all the important things there:

good ideas to do later
realizations
lessons learned
that amazing book someone mentioned to you
etc.

Then, set one day and time every week to go back to your “Everything Spread” and choose what do do with those things (a quiet Sunday morning with a cup of tea can be a good idea!)

5. Indulge in a Happiness Overdose

It’s proven that the feeling of gratitude boosts happiness hormones in our brains. It raises our vibe. It makes us feel less anxious.

Right after dumping your worries onto the paper in the morning, you can cheer yourself up by making a list of everything you feel grateful for. Let yourself soak in it — if you are not fully in it, it won’t work.

In order to be completely immersed in that feeling of positivity, write anything and everything that comes to your mind, no matter how ridiculous it may seem (it might even make you laugh!):

I feel grateful for…
Fresh air. My family. Water slides. Lord of the Rings. Nature. My journal. My clothes. Having food on the table. Being healthy. Being able to write. Being able to see. Being alive.

6. Use Words as Your Fuel

Just like our body needs food in order to work, our soul also needs to be nourished.

A great way we can do that is with our words: they can have an extremely strong impact on the way we think and feel.

Open your journal and write down how you want to be feeling, but write it in the Present Tense. For example:

“I am strong. I can do this.”

The reason why most people fail with positive affirmations is because they just write it down and repeat it a couple of times, but they don’t commit to it.

One way to truly commit to it is to take 5 minutes to feel those words taking over your body and soul. Close your eyes. Repeat them inside your head. They are not the right words for you and they don’t make you feel anything? Then write different words, until you find the ones that work.

Talk yourself into your true power.

7. Build Your Own Sacred Shrine of Peacefulness

Our surrounding environment shapes the way we feel.

If you surround yourself with low-vibe, negative things and people, you will feel anxious. However, if you surround yourself with calmness and peace, you will feel calm and peaceful.

Your journal can be your environment. Create a “Peaceful Spread” — a space in your journal full of positivity that you can visit anytime you feel anxious. You can include:

uplifting quotes
pictures of your happy self
pictures of places or people who inspire you
your vision board
your goals
your accomplishments
beautiful drawings

The possibilities are endless. Make it yours. All that matters is that, whenever you open, it feels good. It feels sacred. It feels soothing — it feels like your true self.

You Are One Page Away From Peace of Mind

You don’t have to feel crippled by anxiety anymore.

It’s in your power — even in those hardest moments — to step from hopelessness into freedom and clarity.

All you need to do it act — one simple step at a time. The next time you feel your anxiety kicking in, just grab your journal and try one of the steps above.

It might even change your life.

How To Turn Your Journal Into the Ultimate Motivation Machine

2018-01-31T00:00:00+00:00

Yet another day when you didn’t exercise.

Another day when you didn’t start your dream project. You didn’t quit your boring job. You didn’t begin your sugar-free diet. You didn’t meditate. You didn’t wake up early.

You didn’t make your life any better than it was yesterday.

“I’ll start tomorrow”, you lie to yourself.

Why is it so hard to do the things you already know you should do? Why is it that knowing what’s best for you is not enough to actually do it?

The truth is that, even though we have hopes and dreams, life always ends up getting in the way. We have to earn a living, we have obligations, and at the end of the day we don’t have energy to fuel the motivation needed to pursue our dreams.

If you are reading this, you have probably tried to change that before.

You keep reading inspiring books, watching Ted Talks, reading motivational quotes and following your role models on social media, but nothing seems to work.

Do you want to know why?

True Motivation Needs To Start From Within

Beautiful pictures and breathtaking speeches or pep talks by someone else won’t do you any good if you don’t have a deeper purpose — an inner unshakable force that drives your actions from a place of deep wisdom and certainty.

The good news is, this force is not that difficult to awaken.

In fact, it’s dying to be heard by you — all you need to do is listen.

4 Journaling Tips That Will Make You Burst With Motivation

Your journal is one of the best tools you can use to listen to this voice that will awaken your motivation. It’s an amazing tool to dive deep into your purpose, look within, and more — to use as a visual reminder of why you wanted to take action in the first place.

Today, I will show you how to use your journal to light that inner fire and ignite an infinite source of motivation that will fuel you all the way towards your dreams.

Ready? Let’s do it.

1. Reasons Come First, Answers Second

“Reasons come first, answers second. It seems that life has a mysterious quirk of camouflaging the answers in such a way that they become apparent only to those who are inspired enough to look for them — who have reasons to look for them.” — Jim Rohn

One of the reasons why being motivated is so hard for so many of us is because we don’t have a reason to be motivated.

Let’s say you want to become better at writing, but you can’t find the motivation to start. You started writing a novel a few months ago, but now you cringe at the thought of even looking at it.

It might be time to ask yourself:

What makes me want to do this? Why am I not doing it? What do I really want?

This will get you to your deeper purpose.

Maybe you’ll find that the reason why you want to write is because you want to share your story with the world, to inspire people with your story.

You might find that writing fiction doesn’t really fulfil that, and that’s why novel writing doesn’t work for you. Maybe it will be non-fiction. Maybe a podcast, maybe a movie, or maybe even going out in the streets or shout it out loud.

The point is that now you have your deeper goal. As Jim Rohn said, first the reason, then the answers. Know what you want to achieve, and let the methodology follow as a natural consequence.

Once You Know Your Goal, It’s Time to Test It

In his book The Art of Thought, English psychologist Graham Wallas proposes that the creative process involves four stages:

Preparation (identifying the problem),
Incubation (processing the information on a subconscious level),
Illumination (when everything becomes clear), and
Verification (testing if the idea really solves the problem).

This means that you might not get your goal right at first try, and therefore you should give it an incubation period.

Write down your goal (or goals) in your journal, and give yourself a week to process it. Let your subconscious mind judge it. Let it sit before you jump into it.

If after a week you are still not sure about your goal — or if you feel like there is still somewhere deeper to go — answer these questions:

Does it make me tick with excitement?
How will I feel when I achieve it?
How will my life change?
What is my deeper motivation?
How will this goal keep me motivated when other goals have failed before?

Let it marinate. Once you have it, you will know it — and it will make all the difference.

And then, it’s time to move on.

2. Feel It. Smell It. Love It. Get Drunk With It.

Having the right goal(s) is crucial, but it’s only the first step towards becoming motivated to achieve it/them.

If you have failed with cultivating motivation before, you need to make sure you won’t trick yourself into procrastination again.

You need to have a fail-proof method.

You need to make yourself love your goals.

You don’t want your goals to feel like a chore: when you think of your goals, you want your whole body and soul to scream: “Let’s do it!”

One effective way to do it is to make your brain associate your goal with pleasant feelings.

And that’s where your journal comes into play again. Go back to that page or spread where you wrote your goal, and make it into a source of inspiration.

It’s time to get creative: draw, write, make a collage, do whatever it takes so that when you open your journal in that page, you will feel inspired, excited, and happy.

You can use pictures, inspiring quotes, affirmations, or even the answers to the questions from step 1. The only rule is that you feel amazing when you look at it.

I know what you are thinking: “I have tried this before. Vision boards, positivity and all that jazz, but it just doesn’t work for me.”

I get where you are coming from.

And that’s why the next step is fundamental.

3. Activate ‘The Fresh Start Effect’

According to this study, we are more likely to be motivated to take action when specific temporal landmarks take place.

This is why people are so committed to New Year’s Resolutions — because they feel it’s the beginning of a new chapter, time to leave their old selves behind and start again.

This is called the ‘Fresh Start Effect’.

However, scientists also proved that it doesn’t have to be New Year’s or Christmas in order for the ‘Fresh Start Effect’ to work: it can be simply the beginning of a new month, or even a new week or day.

Now that you have your little sanctuary of inspiration in your journal, it’s time to put it to use — after all, if it just sits there gathering dust, it won’t do you any good.

All you need to do is to create a routine that will activate the ‘Fresh Start Effect’, using your goal’s spread to trigger unprecedented motivation.

Here are some ways you can do it:

“I will look at this spread every morning after waking up and get immersed in it for 5 full minutes.”
This can include reading it with focus, bringing it to life with your imagination, or even combining it with mindful meditation.
“I will review my goals and plan for them at the beginning of every new week.”
For some of us, bringing ourselves into a planning mindset can work wonders for motivation. Check-in with your goals and see if they still resonate with you. Review your progress. Plan actionable steps for next week. If you want, you can even create a new, updated inspiring spread!
“I will end each day with a feeling of gratitude and strong intention.”
The best preparation for a good fresh start is a satisfying and inspiring end of the previous chapter. Create an evening ritual where you write down all the things you already feel grateful for, and from there build the intention to be motivated for the next day. Let these be the last things on your mind when you go to sleep. Write them down. Let it sink in as much as possible.

4. Do It Before You Realize It… Wait, What?

The three previous steps are useless without this one:

Taking action.

Nothing is more effective to make you motivated to work towards a certain goal than to take the first step.

Just do it. Do it before you can talk yourself out of it.

Start really simple. Let’s look at the novel writing example again. Just grab a piece of paper and write for 5 minutes nonstop.

Next day, get inspired — read two pages of a new book.

Every day, make sure you do something towards your goal, no matter how small that action may seem.

The way to do this supper effective is to track your progress and make yourself accountable by taking note of your daily steps in your journal.

It’s very easy: draw a calendar/board for the next month, or the next week (or the next year, if you feel super inspired!) and every day at the end of the day fill it in with what you did that day to work towards your goal.

It’s super fun to look back at your accomplishments, and it will keep you pumped when you feel lazy: “Look at what I have already done — I can’t possible stop now!”, you will think.

Enough Waiting — It’s Time To Switch On Your Motivation Machine

You have tried to force yourself into being motivated before, but with no results.

I get you. And let me tell you this: you are not the problem. There is nothing wrong with you.

It’s all about creating the right circumstances so that you can feel the right feelings, which will make motivation come effortlessly, instead of yet another obstacle to overcome in your life.

Start by defining your finish line. Where you want to be, your goal, your ideal scenario. Answer the questions in point 1. Once you get that right, it’s likely that everything else will follow suit, and motivation will start being an everyday friend.

Take one step at a time. Once the base is set in stone, it’s time to make it into a habit. Slowly, gently, lovingly.

When you get yourself into the right mindset, you will see that life will start feeling as easy as a summer breeze. No more struggling to do what’s healthy. No more fighting yourself.

You can do this — and you can do it while having a lot of fun.

The Next Step

Right, you have the motivation going on. You feel excited. You’re clear on your goals.

What next?

This might be the right time to start tracking your goals.

If you’ve tried it before and always ended up giving up, it might be because you didn’t have the right motivation, or tried to track too many things at once.

Start simple. Start with one habit at a time, and work your way up towards your goals!

The Infinity Squares is a powerful journaling tool that can help you with that.