41 Powerful Journaling Exercises for Mind Expansion and Effective Behavior Change
Based on the work of some of the greatest world-class experts on productivity, complexity thinking, health and wellbeing, among others.
Note: pdf version of this article (along with many other goodies) available via our Patreon.
Do you feel stuck inside your own head? Do you crave change, but donât know where to start?
What you need is a paradigm shift.
This article provides you with a list of journaling exercises based on tested tools by world-class experts and thought-leaders (from fields as diverse as health and fitness, habit-building, productivity, business, minimalism, and relationshipsâamong others) that will help you get unlocked, see things differently, and start fresh.
Some of them were already exercises in their original form (such as Tim Ferrissâs âFear-Settingâ), and the other ones were adapted from principles and models (such as the âQuality/Quantity Trade-offâ or James Clearâs âPlateau of Latent Potentialâ) and turned into journaling practices that you can apply to your own experiences.
Some of them might change your life, and some might not be a good fit for you, but hopefully, each new experiment will unlock new insights and propel you further on your path.
How to use this article?
- Every week, make a choice by asking yourself: âWhich of the following categories can have the biggest impact in my life if I work on it this week?â (categories below)
- Pick one of the items from the category you chose, and copy the correspondent spread into your journal.
- Allow your mind to be infused with this exercise and apply it to your life throughout the following week. Some of them require filling in once; some of them are most helpful when reviewed every day and applied to different situations; and some others require specific action to be taken immediately. Whatever it is, keep it in your awareness, and observe the ways in which it affects your life.
- Review at the end of the week and repeat this process with a different exercise.
Ready? Letâs do it.
Categories
- I. Take a Step Back and Expand Your Perception
- II. Plan, Strategize, and Take Action Like a Fortune 100 CEO
- III. Make Great Decisions
- IV. Face Your Problems Like a Zen Master and Get Them Out of Your Way
- V. Change Your Habits, Change Your Life
- VI. Become a Communication Master, Grow Your Network, and Build Awesome Relationships
- VII. Live a Better, Healthier, and More Balanced Life
I. Take a Step Back and Expand Your Perception
1. âDeeper Whyâ
Source: Benjamin Hardy
What about __ is important to me?_
[caption id=ââ align=âalignnoneâ width=â1000â] All the images (journaling exercises) in this article were created by Silvia Bastos.[/caption]
In 2017, Benjamin Hardy published an article where he explains the importance of investigating your deepest whyâthe real reason why you want the things you want and do the things you do.
According to him, hereâs why itâs important to know this:
- Because clarity leads to motivation;
- Because operating in alignment with your core values boosts your performance.
To find your deeper why, ask yourself: âWhat about ____ is important to me?â_
When you have the answer, go deeper and ask: âwhat about [answer] is important to me?â Repeat the process up to seven times until you reach the answer that most profoundly resonates with you.
Hereâs an example:
[Thing I want:] A better job.
[Question:] What about having a better job is important to me?
[Thing I want:] Making more money.
[Question:] What about making more money is important to me?
[Thing I want:] Having less financial anxiety.
[Question:] What about having less financial anxiety is important to me?
[Thing I want:] Being more patient with my family.
[Question:] What about being more patient with my family is important to me?
[Thing I want:] To be loved and listened to.
Before you complete the exercise, make sure you read Benjamin Hardyâs article to know the deeper why of why you should do it in the first place: âHow to Consistently Act From Your Deepest âWhyâ and Optimize Your Timeâ
2. Beginnerâs Mind
Source: Zen Buddhism
An empty mind is ready for anything.
When it comes to problem solving, mainstream education usually reinforces a â_one answer to one problemâ_ approach.
This gets you stuck in a functional fixedness bias, where you always look at problems from a familiar viewpointâwhich hinders natural bursts of creativity. As Abraham Maslow once famously said, âWhen all youâve got is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.â
The great news is, Scott Jeffrey wrote an amazing article where he offers four different exercises to access the beginnerâs mind mindset, and consequently elevate your creative work and enhance your ability to learn.
How to use the spread in this section?
- Choose one or more of the exercises in Scott Jeffreyâs article;
- Copy the spread to your journal;
- Apply your chosen exercises throughout this week;
- Take notes on your spread.
To fully engage in a creative/learning process, let go of the âI knowâ mentality, and approach the problem with a beginnerâs mindâjust as if you were seeing it for the very first time.
As Shunryu Suzuki points out: âIf your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. In the beginnerâs mind there are many possibilities; in the expertâs mind there are few.â
Read more about this: âHow to Adopt a Beginnerâs Mind to Accelerate Learning and Increase Creativityâ by Scott Jeffrey.
3. âLife Calendarâ
Source: Tim Urban
âAm I making the most out of this week?â
[caption id=ââ align=âalignnoneâ width=â1000â] The reason why this one looks different is that itâs way too complex (and big) to draw on your journal. I recommend buying the 24in x 36in calendar at Wait But Whyâitâs big, itâs high-res, and it will last you a lifetime (which is kind of the purpose of it).[/caption]
Your time is very limited and therefore precious. If you live for 90 years, that gives you a total of 4680 weeks to live (and youâve already spent a big chunk of that).
Tim Urban came up with this brilliant idea called the âLife Calendarâ: a visual representation of your lifespan, where each week corresponds to one square.
Although it sounds simple, itâs super powerful: as you review and fill in a new square every week, you can feel time passing by. You realize you wonât live forever, which is great to keep you on track, enjoying each day, and pursuing your goals.
But the purpose is not simply to count weeks: you can use your calendar to make sure you are using each week in the most beneficial way possible. As you mark each week on your calendar, check whether your weekly activities:
- Bring you enjoyment,
- Improve your future or the lives of others, or
- Do both of the above (ideal outcome).
Donât forget to read Tim Urbanâs âYour Life in Weeksââhe gives practical (and also hilarious) examples of how to use the calendar which are extremely useful and inspiring.
4. The Medicine Wheel
Source: Indigenous wisdom
Balance is not a nounâitâs a verb_._
The medicine wheel has been used for centuries by indigenous tribes from all over the world as a compass, a guide to give them direction in life.
How does it work?
Well, as it usually happens with this kind of ancient wisdom, different interpretations and traditions tend to appear with time. The basic concept is to use the four elements as a framework to help us achieve balance. Hereâs a version that can be applied to our modern, busy lives:
- Fire = Power / Action; (excess = Burnout);
- Water = Emotions / Subconscious; (excess = Overwhelm);
- Earth = Structure / Grounding; (excess = Feeling stuck);
- Air = Wisdom / Consciousness, (excess = Overthinking).
How can you use it?
When feeling out of balance, see which quadrant of the Medicine Wheel is in excess and engage in activities that belong to the diagonally inverse quadrant. This will âtipâ the wheel back to center, and bring you back to balance.
To find out more about which activities to use for each quadrant, and more information about what each of them represents, check out this article: âJournaling Techniques to Master Balance and Grow Fasterâ by Silvia Bastos
5. Ikigai
Source: Somewhere and someone in Japan, during the Heian Period (794-1185) [1]
Lifeâs purpose combines what you love, are good at, can be paid for, and what the world needs.
Ikigai [from Japanese: âikiâ [çă] meaning life, + âgaiâ [çČæ] meaning value or worth] is an excellent framework to help you identify your optimal life direction, and reflecting on your long-term goals, ideal lifestyle, and economic viability.
The concept can be depicted as a Venn diagram with your ikigai placed at the center, where four sets overlap.
Draw the spread in your notebook, then take some time to reflect and fill in each section with information thatâs true to youâand hopefully youâll get some clarity on your personal ikigai.
If you need more ideas for how to use it, I offer step-by-step instructions in this article: How To Chart A New Course For Your Life With 3 Simple Diagrams.
II. Plan, Strategize, and Take Action Like a Fortune 100 CEO
6. âBegin With the End in Mindâ
Source: Stephen Covey
Know where youâre going so you know what steps to take.
In his book âThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective Peopleâ, Stephen Covey has brought to life a timeless principle: begin with the end in mind.
In other words: make sure that you always keep your bigger purpose/goal/mission in mind when you engage in any smaller tasks. This will help make sure your actions are meaningful, you waste less time, and you get where you want to go.
This principle can be applied to any area of lifeâfrom personal-development and relationships to business and projects.
How can you apply it? Well, since thereâs a whole chapter dedicated to it in one of the most popular self-development books ever, quite a lot. But you can start here:
- Begin with defining your end goal (who you want to be or what you want to achieve);
- Clarify your principles and values, which will guide you towards your goal on daily basis;
- And finally, plan smaller tasks and jump into action.
If you need more clarity about any of the steps in the process, you can read about the main takeaways from this principle in this article: Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind
7. âThe Flywheel Effectâ
Source: Jim Collins
âGreatness is created by a series of good decisions, extremely well executed, over a long period of timeââJim Collins
There is a common belief that people and companies become successful as a result of one major âbreakthrough momentâ.
Fortunately, after a lot of investigating and asking people and companies about their âbig breakthroughâ events, Jim Collins found out that this is just a myth. It turns out itâs not one big decisive moment that determines greatness: it is a series of interlinked events that trigger each other to make success inevitableâa metaphoric âflywheelâ.
Jim Collins calls it âThe Flywheel Effectâ, and it can be applied both to business and personal life. In his interview with Tim Ferris, he gives the example of his own personal flywheel:
Curiosity for big questions > research > good ideas > books and teaching > impact > fund access > curiosity >âŠ
As in:
Curiosity for big questions inevitably leads to him engaging in research, which is bound to produce (at least a few) very good ideas. Those are naturally destined to lead towards writing and teaching, which is likely to have impact on the world, consequently leading towards accessing funds, allowing to fund another project, and thus completing the loop.
A flywheel builds a compounding momentum over time with each loop adding up to the cumulative effect. If you do âaâ, you canât help but do âbâ. If you do âbâ, you canât help but do âcââand so on. It requires constant optimization, but it can be maintained and repeated for decades.
You can use the spread above to brainstorm the activities that, brought together in a sequential way, inevitably lead you towards greatness and success.
However, this is just a very basic explanation of âThe Flywheel Effectâ; if you want to learn in depth about it and build your own powerful flywheel, read Jim Collinsâs book âTurning the Flywheelâ
8. High Impact Actions
Source: Rafael Sarandeses
Engage in actions that are most likely to bring you the desired result.
Knowing your goal is not enough. You also need a clear path, outlining the most effective steps you could/should/will take.
In his article published on Better Humans, Rafael Sarandeses defines these as âHigh Impact Actionsâ.
High Impact Actions should be:
- Predictive of your goal (if you do them diligently, you are very likely to achieve it);
- 100% within your control;
- Easy to do on a regular basis;
- Inserted within a tactical timeline (quarterly, monthly, weekly and daily);
- Turned into habits, routines and processes.
So forget about accomplishing random daily tasks or engaging in purposeless habits for the sake of being âmore productiveâ: what are the most effective, 100% within your control, regular actions that will lead you towards your goal?
Start by reading Rafaelâs articleâyouâll learn a lot from it. Then define your goal, define your HIA, and thenâitâs time to take action.
9. Explore/Exploit Trade-off
Source: Probability Theory
Should you look for a better option, or stick with what is already working?
The âmulti-armed banditâ problem in probability theory gave origin to the âexplore/exploitâ concept, which can be applied to several areas in life (such as art, business, learning, and personal development). In his article âExplore/Exploitâ, Josh Kaufman offers a very clear explanation of the pros and cons of exploring versus exploiting while working on a project or trying to achieve a goal.
So how does this principle work?
To find the best path towards your goals, you need to experiment with different optionsâyou need to test, and be aware of other possibly more effective routes. However, every new exploratio_n has an opportunity cost: _less time to exploit the current option.
Exploring only leads to collecting a lot of information, but not making sufficient progress on any of the available paths. In contrast, exploiting only risks missing out on better solutions.
For example, if you started a new diet a few weeks ago but still see no results in terms of weight loss, you might want to try a new one. However, by doing so you might be giving up too early to see resultsânot exploiting the current enough to realize itâs actually ideal for you in the long run. But what if this is not the ideal diet for you? How to solve this dilemma?
Effective strategies include a combination of exploring and exploiting in various proportions. Here are some examples:
- âEpsilon-firstâ strategy: Explore first, then exploit the best outcome;
- âEpsilon-greedyâ strategy: Pick the best currently available option between exploiting and exploring;
- Minimize expected successes lost (e.g. when facing ethical constraints);
- Establish a price for each option (e.g. sum of expected reward + estimated future reward);
What projects are you currently working on? Whatâs the best strategy for each of them? Reflect on it, and then experiment by consciously dividing your time between exploring and exploiting for each of them.
If youâre still not clear on how this works, start by reading Josh Kaufmanâs âExplore/Exploitâ article.
If you need inspiration for applying this to your own life, Wikipedia contains an extensive list of possible strategies.
10. Make Smaller Circles
Source: Josh Waitzkin
âIt is rarely a mysterious technique that drives us to the top, but rather a profound mastery of what may well be a basic skill set.ââJosh Waitzkin
The key to mastering any skill is to first learn its most basic components. In his book âThe Art of Learningâ{:target=âblankâ}, Josh Waitzkin explains that before mastering the big, powerful moves that have led him to become world champion in _tai chi chuan, he first had to spend hours learning basic, small, slow movements, such as the subtleties of a few-inches-long punch.
When learning anything, pick an isolated component and break it down into tiny details which make it work. Want to learn Japanese? Start with learning the alphabet. Pick up a new instrument? First, master the scalesâand only then will it be time to work on your vibrato.
Keep mastering the basics until they are fully integrated into your subconscious, so that later your conscious mind will have enough available energy to deal with new complex challenges.
11. Quality Threshold
Source: Scott Young
Finish your product, instead of endlessly trying to increase its quality.
Mastering a skill is a result of the time we dedicate to perfecting it.
Throughout his life, Vincent Van Gogh produced around 900 paintings most of them within a 2-year period. The thing is: not all of Van Goghâs paintings were masterpiecesâbut it was his production volume that lead to creating the ones that were.
Focusing on âgetting it perfectâ is often a psychological barrier preventing us from completing a product, which in turn reduces the amount of production cycles, leading to fewer chances for feedback and skill-refinement.
So how can you produce enough quantity to get better at what you do, but still dedicate enough time to each product to make sure you can create quality content?
Scott Young wrote an article that covers that in a very clear, actionable way. Itâs called âHow to Be Prolificâ, and it explains how to find the sweet spot between quality and quantity when producing work.
The exercise in this section was based on the advice given by Scott in his article (which is what I recommend you start with to get a more in-depth knowledge of the subject)âsome steps to make it as effortless as possible to become prolific and improve your craft:
- âOne time investmentsâ
Scott suggests âcreate a âVocabularyâ for Your Workââa database of tools that you have to learn or invest in once, and that will make your craft or process easier in the future;
- âAtomic skillsâ
Master atomic skills required to create your product, through repeating of the production cycle;
- âBarriers to Removeâ
Identify and remove the barriers keeping you from completing products.
The trick is not to completely disregard the quality of the product, but insteadâespecially if you struggle with finishing things you startedâshift your focus to increasing your output.
As Voltaire said, âthe best is the enemy of the good.â
12. Process Thinking
Source: Nick Saban and Lionel Rosen / Ryan Holiday
_âWe are A-to-Z thinkers, fretting about A, obsessing over Z, yet forgetting all about B through Y.ââ_Ryan Holiday
There is one high-performance hack that a lot of us are unaware of. Psychiatry professor Lionel Rosen originated the insight; football coach Nick Saban applied it to his teamâs success; and Ryan Holiday wrote all about it in a fantastic article.
Itâs called process thinking, and itâs about the importance of staying focused on our immediate next steps.
We often get obsessed about our long term goals, but never end up achieving them because we donât optimize our short-term actions. Keeping our goals in mind is crucial, but in order to get there, in order to progress in real timeâright nowâwe need to focus on the next consecutive point on our journey.
Do you want to lose weight? Set a goal, but then go for your first walk today. If you want to start a blog, itâs great to keep the ideal audience numbers in mindâbut donât forget to start writing your first blog post.
Whatever is your Z, keep it in mind (begin with the end in mind) but then quickly focus back on how to get to point B.
Do you need more inspiration? Ryan Holidayâs article not only goes in depth into how Nick Saban lead his team to success by applying this principle, but also offers other useful insights on how you can do it yourself. Check it out: Hereâs the Strategy Elite Athletes Follow to Perform at the Highest Level.
III. Make Great Decisions
13. Circle of Competence
Source: Warren Buffett
Focus on what you know, learn about what you donât know.
[caption id=âattachment_593â align=âalignnoneâ width=â1000â] The image on the left was based on the one in Shane Parishâs article.[/caption]
Hereâs a truth for you: you donât know everything.
But here are the good news: you donât need to.
In order to increase the likelihood of success in any area of life, all you need to do is focus on the narrow area where you have real expertise, while gradually expanding it by learning new things.
Warren Buffett calls this area âcircle of influenceâ, and he attributes his success to always staying within his: âThe size of that circle [of what you know] is not very important; knowing its boundaries, however, is vital.â
Shane Parish from Farnam Street wrote one of the most insightful articles out there on this topic (even if very short), called âUnderstanding your Circle of Competence: How Warren Buffett Avoids Problemsâ.
So hereâs your exercise:
- Read Shane Parishâs article to get a clearer grasp of the concept of âarea of influenceâ;
- Copy this spread to your journal;
- Reflect on the questions on the left and write down the answers;
- During this week, aim to stay within your area of influence, as well as expanding it.
Itâs totally fine to say âI donât knowâ. Pretending that you do is a slippery slopeâas George Bernard Shaw said, âBeware of false knowledge, as it is more dangerous than ignorance.â
Own what you know, admit what you donât, and expand your knowledge wherever it might help you grow.
14. Decision Matrix
Source: Dwight Eisenhower
Focus on what is important, not urgent.
The Decision Matrix, popularized by Stephen Covey, is a visual tool for effective time management. It helps evaluate which tasks should be carried out, delegated, or dropped, by dividing them into four different quadrants:
- Important and urgent (e.g. crisis situations, pressing deadlines, etc.)
- Important but not urgent (e.g. long-term planning, relationships, exercise, etc.)
- Not important but urgent (interruptions, activities not contributing to your goals)
- Not important and not urgent (distractions)
Quadrant 2 activities are at the core of effective personal management. They contribute directly towards your long-term mission, values and goals.
Spending most of your time in quadrant 2 practically guarantees that good things will happen, starting with removing the amount of crisis situations keeping you in quadrant 1. The rest should be either delegated or dropped.
To use this spread, think about the activities that you do on a regular basis, place them on the correct quadrant, and then reflect on ways to create more time for quadrant 2 activities.
If you want more information about the Decision Matrix, Brett and Kate McKay wrote a great article about it: The Eisenhower Decision Matrix: How to Distinguish Between Urgent and Important Tasks and Make Real Progress in Your Life.
15. Pareto Analysis
Source: Vilfredo Pareto
Identify whatâs critical to your success and focus on it.
According to the Pareto Principle (known as the â80/20 ruleâ), 80% of results come from 20% of actions taken.
If most of the benefits come from just a small percentage of your actions, the most effective strategy towards success is to identify and focus on those things first.
Hereâs how you can apply the Pareto Principle:
- Specify your goal or problem;
- Identify factors contributing towards that goal or problem;
- List them in descending order of contribution towards the goal or problem;
- Focus on the âvital fewâ rather than âtrivial manyâ.
Note: This process is applicable to all areas of life (business, health, relationships, productivity, etc.)
If you enjoy Excel sheets, Duncan Haughey created a step-by-step walkthrough of conducting your Pareto analysis with an .xlsx template.
If youâd rather read a book, Richard Koch wrote a brilliant one.
16. Opportunity Cost
Source: Friedrich von Wieser (early 20th century scientist)
Every choice has a hidden price: not benefiting from the alternative choices.
I could try to explain the concept of opportunity cost myself, but why would you read my words if you can read Seth Godinâs instead? Hereâs how he explains it in his brilliantly concise article, âOpportunity cost just went upâ:
âIf you have $100 to invest and you buy this stock instead of that bond, the interest you gave up in making your choice is your opportunity cost.
âAt the dinner buffet, you can take as much food as you like, but you can only consume so much food. Which means that eating the jambalaya means you wonât have room to eat a dosa. Thatâs your opportunity cost.â
Every choice you make has a price.
Understanding the concept of âopportunity costâ is key to effective decision-making, as it helps see the real cost of your actions and eliminate the ones that are not worth it.
In the words of Warren Buffett: âThe difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.â
Before you say yes to any offer or opportunity, ask yourself: âby saying yes to this, what am I saying no to?â and then, âIs it worth it?â
17. Gap Between Trigger and Response
Source: Viktor Frankl
_âBetween stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.ââ_Viktor Frankl
We donât get to choose what happens to us, but we get to choose what to do with the things that happen to us.
In other words, what psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl meant is that we donât have to react impulsively to things that happen to usâwe can choose to respond consciously, and this is where we can determine the quality of our lives.
Leslie Becker-Phelps Ph.D wrote an article for Psychology Today where she offers some practical strategies to turn Franklâs words into action:
- Consider the person you would like to be;
- Think about the meaning or origin of your reactions;
- Observe the outcome of your reactions;
- Imagine a better response;
- Learn a more compassionate approach to yourself.
To use the journaling exercise in this section, first identify your common triggers and reactions; then, take a look at Leslie Becker-Phelpsâs article to learn her strategies, identify the ones that suit you best, and start experimenting with them.
IV. Face Your Problems Like a Zen Master and Get Them Out of Your Way
18. Fear-Setting
Source: Tim Ferriss
âMeasure the cost of inaction, realize the unlikelihood and repairability of most missteps, and develop the most important habit of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action.ââTim Ferris
Tim Ferriss claims there is one exercise which has produced his biggest business and personal successes.
He calls it âFear-Settingâ.
Very often we avoid taking action because weâre afraid of the consequences. But just like fear of the dark, very often we fear things just because we donât know them. âFear-settingâ is a powerful tool to dissect worst case scenarios, exhaust solutions, and get to a state of mental clarity from which are able to take action.
I took the liberty to create a visual, journaling version of Timâs exercise. However, I highly recommend reading Timâs instructions before you fill it in, as he goes in depth into each question and offers useful examples.
After that, draw the spread in your notebook, take some time to think, and write down your answers.
And thenâbecause none of this makes sense without the last stepâŠ
Take action!
P.S.: I first read about this exercise in âThe Four-Hour Workweekâ by Tim Ferriss, which, if youâre interested in living your ideal lifestyle, managing your time better and yes, facing your fears, you should totally read.
19. Procrastination Loop
Source: Charlotte Lieberman
At its core, procrastination is about emotions, not productivity.
Procrastination is a negative habit loop, reinforced through âamygdala hijackââa bias that makes us focus problems (e.g. feeling bored) rather than future ones (e.g. missing an important deadline).
Charlotte Lieberman explains all about how procrastination really happens in her article âWhy You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control)â. Hereâs the core idea: procrastination is an emotional feedback loop.
- Challenging emotion surfaces (e.g. self-doubt, anxiety, stress);
- Procrastination provides temporary emotional relief (especially âsocially acceptable procrastinationâ such as reading or tidying up);
- You feel bad to see youâre procrastinating, so the emotions become even stronger, and the loop starts again. Youâre trapped.
Charlotte also offers very practical solutions to break this loop:
- Be curious about your thoughts and emotions: when you feel like procrastinating, analyze that feeling in depth (this way you can get to the root of why you are procrastinating);
- Consider your next action: if you were to do the task youâre avoiding, what would be the first step? This helps you break down a big problem into small, actionable chunks;
- Make your temptations more inconvenient: place obstacles on the path to your temptations. For example, if you tend to check Facebook often, hide your phone in a drawer;
- Make it easy to do the right thing: remove any points of resistance that make what you need to do seem hard.
After you read Charlotte Liebermanâs article and dive deep into her instructions to end procrastination, fill in the spread aboveâand then start turning your words into action.
20. Good Problems vs. Bad Problems
Source: Mark Manson
When deciding about what you want to do, ask yourself: what kind of problems do you enjoy dealing with?
According to Mark Manson in his book âThe Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ckâ, whichever path you choose in life, you will face problems.
In fact, problems never stop, since solving one problem always leads to the creation of a new one.
Therefore, instead of hoping for an effortless path, he suggests you choose your path based on the kind of problems you enjoy solving and which make you grow. For example, you might find it enriching to overcome writerâs block, but tiring to constantly listen to the complaints from your current boss at the job you hate.
Good questions to ask yourself:
- âWhat pain do I want in my life?
- âWhat am I willing to struggle for?â
- âWhat pain do I want to sustain?â
Let Mark Manson be your guide: âThe path to happiness is a path full of shitheaps and shame.â
So choose the good shitheaps and shame, and then face them heads on.
21. Theory of Constraints
Source: Eliyahu Goldratt / Taylor Pearson
A chain is never stronger than its weakest link.
[caption id=âattachment_602â align=âalignnoneâ width=â1000â] The graph on the left is an adaptation from the images in Taylor Pearsonâs article.[/caption]
The Theory of Constraints (TOC)âconceived in the 1980s by Eli Goldratt, one of the founders the Israeli company Creative Outputâis a management framework that views any system as being limited in achieving more of its goals by a small number of constraints.
In other words, in order for any system to become effective, the bottlenecks need to be addressed.
While originally created for business purposes, the theory of constraints (or business production function) is also highly relevant for personal growth. People (or businesses) fail to grow because they waste resources on ineffective solutions, such as fixing whatâs already working without addressing major bottlenecks.
For example, if youâre trying to lose weight solely by increasing the amount of physical exercise, while ignoring diet and recovery, you are likely to fail. Similarly, attempting to increase your productivity by extending the working hours without improving physical and mental wellbeing is likely to result in burnout.
How can you apply this principle to improve your personal effectiveness?
First, identify and remove real bottlenecks.
Then, create systems to maintain the newly increased production limit over time.
Taylor Pearson wrote an extremely comprehensive article where he goes in depth into the principles of TOC, and offers solutions to identify and remove bottlenecks. Itâs one of the best business articles youâll ever read.
22. Plateau of Latent Potential
Source: James Clear
âIf you find yourself struggling to build a good habit or break a bad one, it is not because you have lost your ability to improve. It is often because you have not yet crossed the Plateau of Latent Potential.ââJames Clear
[caption id=âattachment_603â align=âalignnoneâ width=â1000â] The image on the left is based on the original âPlateau of Latent Potentialâ graph from the book âAtomic Habitsâ[/caption]
The Plateau of Latent Potential is a concept introduced by James Clear in his book âAtomic Habitsâ. He calls it âa hallmark of any compounding process: the most powerful outcomes are delayed.â
Very often, sticking with a new habit (like doing sit ups every day) will show no visible results for a long time, until one day you suddenly reap the benefits (oh, are those my abs? Iâve never seen them before!)
This only happens because of the compounding effect of habits: the improvements were happening all along, but theyâre usually barely noticeable until we cross the Plateau of Latent Potentialâthe threshold where the results become big enough to be visible.
Copy the spread above to your journal. Choose a habit you want to build, choose a symbol to represent it, and then track it every day. If you donât see progress straight away, use James Clearâs graph on the left to remind you that habit progress is often not linear, but instead an exponential function where small improvements compound over a long period of time.
23. Hofstadterâs Law
Source: Douglas Hofstadter
Hofstadterâs Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadterâs Law.
We are biased to make over-optimistic assumptions of completion times, even when imagining the worst-case scenario.
There is no simple fix for this problem. However, Jane Collingwood wrote an article with very practical tips and different approaches for becoming better at estimating time and meeting deadlines, such as:
- Checking at regular intervals that you are working on the most important task;
- Avoid planning altogether;
- Organizing filing systems;
- Managing expectations;
- Defining your most productive hours and using them for more demanding tasks.
Start by defining an important task you need to complete. Then apply Hofstadterâs Law when you estimate the completion time, read Jane Collingwoodâs article, and choose your favorite tactics to finish it on time.
V. Change Your Habits, Change Your Life
24. Habit Loop
Source: Charles Duhigg
When I see [CUE], I will do [ROUTINE] in order to get [REWARD].
Charles Duhiggâs habit loop is an effective framework to bring you clarity on the nature of your habits, as well as help you quit them and form them.
Letâs say you want to quit smoking. Hereâs how you can use the habit loop framework:
- Identify the routine (how the habit happens):
- Maybe you take a break from work at the office, go out with your colleagues, and smoke a cigarette while chatting outside.
- Understand the reward (itâs usually there to meet an underlying need behind the habit):
- How does smoking reward you? Do you feel relief (from stress)? Connected to others (by socializing)? Less tired and more inspired (taking a break from work)?
- Isolate the cue (habit triggers):
- Observe patterns: where are you when it happens? How do you feel when it happens? What time is it? Who else is around? What action preceded the urge?
You can shift habits by modifying the existing loop:
- Plan for the cue;
- Choose a new routine;
- Complete it with a new reward, which meets the underlying need.
25. Aggregation of Marginal Gains
Source: Sir Dave Brailsford / James Clear
âSuccess is the product of daily habitsânot once-in-a-lifetime transformations.â âJames Clear
In 2003, the British cycling team led by Dave Brailsford radically increased the level of their performance by gradually improving every aspect of riding a bike by 1% (e.g. redesigning bike seats, finding the best muscle recovery gels, etc.)
Within five years, the team went from virtually no successes to dominating world-class cycling events, including winning 60% of all medals available at the 2008 Olympic Games.
It was by studying cases like this one that James Clear wrote about his book âAtomic Habitsâ, where he explains how focusing on tiny, 1% improvements in every area of life compounds into tremendous results over a relatively short period of time.
In fact, if you can get as little as 1% better every day, you will increase your overall performance 37 times within one year. In contrast, daily repetition of bad habits and tiny errors will decrease your performance almost down to zero.
Which habits could you build in order to improve yourself by at least one percent every day?
Maybe itâs meditating for five minutes. Maybe is going to the gym. Maybe itâs making a phone call a day to someone you love. Choose one, and start your ascent tomorrow.
26. Habit Stacking
Source: SJ. Scott
Itâs easier to build multiple habits when theyâre connected by one single routine.
To make habit building more effortless, you can use existing habits as cues to form new ones. In other words, you just âstackâ habits onto each other, turning them into connected links of the same routine.
Scott created a 13-step-process to turn small, positive habits into a simple-to-complete sequence. Some steps include âpicking a time and locationâ, âcreating a logical checklistâ, and âfocusing on repetitionâ.
In order to create your own habit stack, read S J Scottâs article, follow his process, and then apply the following formula to fill in the journaling spread in this section:
After I {current habit}, I will {new tiny habit}.
For example:
After brushing teeth (existing habit), I will floss one tooth (new tiny habit).
After flossing, I will switch my phone to flight mode (new tiny habit).
Then, I will stretch for 1 minute (new tiny habit).
Then, I will read 1 page of fiction (new tiny habit).
This strategy works extremely well in combination with the tiny habits method developed by BJ Fogg. Focusing on small wins removes resistance (itâs much easier to floss one tooth than all of them), which in turn helps to build consistency. As new habits become automatic, they can be easily expanded and/or built upon.
27. Behavior Change Matrix
Source: Nir Eyal
There are four different types of behaviors. If you want to change one, you first need to identify it.
[caption id=âattachment_608â align=âalignnoneâ width=â1000â] The matrix on the left is an adaptation from Nir Eyalâs Behavior Change Matrix.[/caption]
In order for any behavior-change strategies to be effective, they need to be adapted for each specific type of behavior.
In order to help people choose the best strategies for them instead of aimlessly jumping from trend to trend, Nir Eyal created the Behavior Change Matrix, which divides all behaviors into four different quadrants:
Amateur behaviors are automatic responses requiring little willpower (such as brushing your teeth). They are generally easy to build using an external trigger (e.g. alarm) as a reminder for the desired behavior.
Expert behaviors require a high degree of self-control and mastery and are common across experts in various disciplines (from professional sports to science). They generally require long periods of diligent practice (e.g. performing a neurosurgery).
Addictive behaviors require a significant amount of willpower to break, as neural loops drive the addict to prioritize satisfying their urge over long-term wellbeing. They require drastic measures, such as abstinence, change of environment and involved support from others.
Habitué behaviors are generally relatively easy to resist (e.g. having that amazing chocolate cake). The techniques build equanimity to face the discomfort arising from not fulfilling the desire.
Ask yourself: âWhich behaviors do I want to quit/form?â, and place them into their appropriate category in the matrix.
Then, to learn how to tackle each of them, read Nirâs article âHow to Design Behavior (The Behavior Change Matrix)â, which will show you different strategies to tackle each specific behavior.
VI. Become a Communication Master, Grow Your Network, and Build Awesome Relationships
28. Feelings and Needs
Source: Marshall Rosenberg
Behind every conflict, there is a challenging feeling and an unmet need.
Nonviolent Communication is a methodology developed by Marshall Rosenberg to help us deepen human connection, solve conflict, and better understand each other.
Its main premise is that the things we say and do when weâre angry, sad, or upset are simply a way to alleviate those feelings and fulfill our unmet needs the best way we can.
The key to solving conflict is to:
- Whenever someone says something thatâs hurtful, donât take it personally;
- Instead, ask yourself: âWhat could this person be feeling and needing that makes them act in this way?â
- Try to identify their feelings and needs and empathize with them. Maybe theyâre feeling annoyed and saying those things brings them relief. Maybe they feel lonely and just want to be heard.
- Focus your response on those feelings and needs, instead of defending yourself from their words (âYou seem really angryâis it because you feel that youâre not getting the respect you need?â)
- Alternatively, share your own feelings and needs (âI see where youâre coming from, but when you say it in that way I feel hurt, as I donât feel my point of view is being heard.â)
This is easier said than done, but youâll be surprised to see how healing and powerful it can be to hear someone else reflecting these things back at us in challenging moments.
Very often, all it takes to end conflict is this: to listen, and to feel listened toânot for our thoughtless words, but for whatâs really going on inside of us.
29. Win/Win or No Deal
Source: Stephen Covey
âIn the long run, if it isnât a win for both of us, we both lose. Thatâs why Win/ Win is the only real alternative in interdependent realities.ââStephen Covey
According to Stephen Covey, negotiations can happen under six different mindsets (which can be applied to all sorts of interactionsâromantic, business, family, friends, etc.):
Win/Win seeks a solution beneficial to both parties, which prevents eventual losses in the long-term.
Win/Lose is the authoritarian/competitive approach, where the victory of one party means a clear defeat for the other.
Lose/Win leads to capitulation and letting the other party âhave their own wayâ.
Lose/Lose often arises when two Win/Lose people get together. They are based on âgetting backâ or âgetting evenâ and disregard individual losses, as long as the outcome hurts the other party.
Win is the most common mindset, focusing on winning without considering the outcome for the other party, leaving it up to them to protect their own interests.
Win/Win or No Deal is the higher form of Win/Win mindset, where both parties agree to either find a mutually beneficial arrangement or forfeit the agreement all together without any unmet expectations or hard feelings.
Whether itâs a discussion with your mother about whatâs for dinner, setting emotional boundaries in a relationship, or an agreement with a new business partner, always aim for âWin/Win or No Dealâ, as this will assure that everyone is respected.
In the words of Stephen Covey, the author of â7 Habits of Highly Effective Peopleâ:
âWith No Deal as an option, you can honestly say, âI only want to go for Win/ Win. I want to win, and I want you to win. I wouldnât want to get my way and have you not feel good about it, because downstream it would eventually surface and create a withdrawal. On the other hand, I donât think you would feel good if you got your way and I gave in. So letâs work for a Win/ Win. Letâs really hammer it out. And if we canât find it, then letâs agree that we wonât make a deal at all. It would be better not to deal than to live with a decision that wasnât right for us both. Then maybe another time we might be able to get together.â
30. Network Constraint
Source: Ronald Burt / Michael Simmons
A large, open network is the best predictor of career success.
[caption id=âattachment_611â align=âalignnoneâ width=â1000â] The image on the left is based on a chart by Ronald Burt, shared by Michael Simmons.[/caption]
In an insightful article based on extensive research from the worldâs top network scientist Ronald Burt, Michael Simmons explains how building large, open networks can enrich your life in several ways, such as giving you access to unique opportunities, working as a translator of ideas between groups, and having a more accurate view of the world than other people.
In contrast, living/working within a small, closed network of interconnected people will dramatically reduce your exposure to new ideas and reinforce already well-integrated patterns. As a consequence, you are likely to stop growing.
Although open networks have challengesâsuch as feeling like an outsider or not being understoodâthe benefits are worth it. As an example, multiple studies have found that access to an open network is the single variable responsible for half of the predicted difference in career success.
What does your current network look like? Is it closed, or is it open and expanding? Use the spread above to represent your current network, and then take notes of how you can optimize it.
Hereâs an example:
31. Reciprocity Decay
Source: Study by Chuan, A., Kessler, J. B., & Milkman, K. L [2] / Coglode
Our desire to give back wanes rapidly with time.
Life is full of favor exchanges. You cover for a co-workerâs shift, or help your friend to move furniture. And eventually, you might want something in return.
Conventional wisdom suggests to wait before asking people to return favors. However, itâs been proven that you shouldnât: people are more likely to reciprocate good deeds when only a short time has passed in between.
In fact, requests sent only a few days after are the most successful. This means you donât need to wait forever before you ask someone to return your favor, just because youâre afraid theyâll think you had second intentions from the start. People are more open to giving back than you thinkâit just helps to ask while the exchange is still fresh.
There is nothing unhealthy about reciprocity in relationships, and when communicated with transparency and compassion, it can bring countless benefits.
Coglode has a great overview of a study conducted on hospital patients that illustrates this framework.
32. Interpersonal Triads
Source: Dave Logan and John King
âThe most valuable relationships are not made of two people, theyâre made of three. A third person will always stabilize and grow the relationship between the other two. Itâs called a triad, and the more you create, the stronger your network.â ââvia CultureSync, Tribal Leadership
A triad is a three-way relationship where each person is responsible for the quality of the relationship between the other two. According to the authors of âTribal Leadershipâ, triad-based structures are the major reason why 24% of American organizations stand out from the rest.
Here are some of the reasons:
- It improves delegation skills (no need to always report back to one person only);
- It allows more introductions (network expansion);
- It frees up time (no need to manage everyone one-on-one);
- If done well, it guarantees integrity and trust (no secrets, no distrust).
If youâre still not convinced, check out this article on CultureSync which explains more about how triads work.
So how can you apply this to your personal life?
Instead of inviting a coworker or a partner for a cup of coffee, invite two. Then, make an active effort to facilitate the relationship between them (e.g. if itâs a first time introduction, tell them whatâs great about each otherânot many things make someone like you more than hearing you say good things about them to someone else).
33. Congruent Communication
Source: Patrick Ewers
We can make communication more effective by completely aligning our words, tonality, and body language (the three main channels of Congruent Communication) behind a singular message.
Patrick Ewers, founder of Mindmaven, explains that words compose only 7% of our communication abilities, while tonality and body language are far more impactful (38% and 55%).
Think about it: when emailing or texting, youâre only using 7% of your full communication potential (and word exclusive communication is often misinterpreted).
On the other hand, if you tell someone a positive message (content) but your tonality and body language indicate otherwise (context), your communication will be incongruent, and therefore likely to be misunderstood.
Congruent Communicationâa term coined by Patrick Ewersâis when words, tonality, and body language are completely aligned behind a single message. It âdramatically reduces the likelihood itâll be misunderstood, and subconsciously builds massive trust with those you interact withâ.
Are you using all three channels to their fullest potential? Or are you constantly experiencing misunderstandings? Use the spread above to reflect on your communication skills and apply congruent communication to your interactions.
VII. Live a Better, Healthier, and More Balanced Life
34. Sleep Heat Map
Source: Dot Zacharias
All aspects of daily life influence our sleep: which ones are affecting yours, and how can you improve them?
The Sleep Heat Map is a tool created by Dot Zacharias aimed at helping you increase the ROI of your sleep improvement by focusing on the areas of your life that impact your sleep the most.
There are 16 sleep-affecting factors, divided by 3 categories (environment, mental and physical), and arranged from left to right in increasing order of difficulty.
- Environment: home, relationships, work, caring for others;
- Mental: positivity, stress, beliefs, mental health;
- Physical: hydration and breath, movement, nutrition, physical health.
Hereâs how to use it:
- Copy the Sleep Heat Map to your journal;
- Score each category from 1 to 10 (10 = âno problem hereâ, and 1 = âthis one needs a lot of workâ);
- Write down some keywords about what you can do to improve in each box.
Check out this article to learn more about each category and how to use the Sleep Heat Map: Sleep Heat Map. Whatâs Stopping You From Sleeping?
35. Longevity is a Function of Lifespan and Healthspan
Source: Peter Attia
Longevity is a function of how long you live and how well you live.
Living a long life (lifespan) is not enough: in order to enjoy it, you also need to be healthy and have energy (healthspan). Ideally, you want to have both.
Thatâs why Peter Attia, a leading expert in the applied science of longevity, came up with the following function:
Longevity = f (Lifespan, Healthspan)
He explains that, in order to extend your lifespan, you need to delay the onset of atherosclerotic disease, cancer, and neurodegenerative disease.
To preserve your healthspan, you need to maintain three main elements:
- Your brain (cognition, thought processing, memoryâŠ) ;
- Your body (muscle mass, movement, strength, flexibility, and freedom from pain);
- Your âspiritâ (social support network and sense of purpose)
Are you just concerned with living a long life, or are you doing your best to increase the quality of your life as youâre living it?
To answer that question, you can start by reading Peter Attiaâs excellent article where he further explains the concepts of longevity, lifespan, and healthspan.
Then, use the journal spread above to brainstorm ways in which you can level up your healthspan preservation, by coming up with ideas to maintain your brain, body, and spirit.
36. 10,000+ Hours
Source: K. Anders Ericsson, Ralf Th. Krampe, and Clemens Tesch-Romer
World class performance comes after 10,000 hours of deliberate practice, 12,500 hours of deliberate rest, and 30,000 hours of sleep.
You might have heard that in order to master any skills, you need 10,000 hours of practice.
Unfortunately, thatâs not the full picture.
Mastering a skill is not just a matter of timeâitâs about a very specific kind of practice referred to as deliberate practice, as well as having enough available mental and emotional resources available (hereâs the study). That means that, in order for those 10,000 hours to be effective, we also need deliberate rest.
Even the most dedicated people can handle only up to 4 hours of highly focused effort per day, translating into a little less than a decade of 5 day/week 4h practice in order to reach mastery. Slightly longer than you thought?
The bottom line is, cutting on rest and/or sleep simply wonât doâeven if you put in the 10,000 hours (in fact, it might even be helpful to extend resting time, since some of the most important components of creative work and knowledge consolidation happen then).
So work hard, but donât forget to rest hard too. If you need more information on how to rest well, Alex Soojung-Kim Pang wrote an excellent book about it. And if you want to learn about deliberate practice, hereâs an article by Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool.
37. Balance Dashboard
Source: Bill Burnett and David Evans
To get back to balance, increase the level of what is missing, without reducing whatâs working well.
[caption id=âattachment_619â align=âalignnoneâ width=â1000â] The image is based on a chart by Bill Burnett and David Evans in this worksheet.[/caption]
The concept of âwork-life balanceâ is a false dichotomy: having âmoreâ of one of them doesnât necessarily require having âlessâ of the other.
In contrast, the Balance Dashboard exercise (created by Bill Burnett and David Evans as a part of their âDesigning Your Lifeâ program) defines balance as an equation consisting of four different areas: work, play, love and health.
Each of them is represented by one gauge. When feeling out of balance, itâs usually because one (or more) of your gauges is falling behind the others.
How can you use the Balance Dashboard?
- Identify the area in your life thatâs currently below ideal;
- Define small steps necessary to increase its level.
You can either copy the dashboard directly into your journal, or access Bill and Davidâs worksheet here.
38. Attention â Awareness
Source: Zen Buddhism / Culadasa
To strengthen your mind, practice both attention and awareness.
We can either perceive reality by focusing on a specific object (attention) or by being peripherally aware of several things around us (awareness).
For example, you are now focused on reading these words, but you are also aware of some sounds around you, bodily sensations, and a few thoughts in your head.
When aiming for productivity, we tend to give too much importance to focus and attention, while disregarding awareness. This is highly ineffective, as we miss out on exploring different possibilities, developing mental resilience, and seeing the âbigger pictureâ.
When you practice both awareness and attention, you are increasing the totality of your mental power.
You can achieve this through meditation (for example, focus on the sensation of your breath while remaining aware of any external stimuli such as sounds, or your body as a whole).
Hereâs how to use this journaling exercise:
Copy the spread to your journal or a piece of paper;
Whenever you look at it during the week, do the following:
- Count to ten breaths;
- As you count, try to maintain focused on the sensations caused by the breath on the nose, while remaining aware of other bodily sensations.
John Yates, Ph.D. (also known as Culadasa), neuroscientist and meditation master and author of the world-famous book âThe Mind Illuminatedâ explores this concept in depth in this article.
39. Body Impacts Mind
Source: Tony Robbins
You can use body movement to change your mood and bring yourself to a peak state.
The relationship between your physical posture and your state of mind is reciprocal.
What does this mean?
We all know that often our posture is a result of how we feel. For example, if you lack confidence, you might turn your shoulders down, speak slowly and quietly, and breathe in a shallow way.
However, the opposite is also true: you can use your posture to change your mood. If you open up your chest, breathe in deeply, and speak clearly and enthusiastically, this can radically change the way you feel.
This principle is often applied and taught by Tony Robbins, who jumps on a tiny trampoline before he goes on stage to change his mood, and jumps into a cold water tank every morning to raise his energy. He offers some techniques to change your mood in his article âHow to Reset Your Mind and Moodâ.
Think about ways in which you can move your body in order to change the way you feel. Write them down in your journal, and then start applying them to your daily life. Keeping track of how often you do this will help you build it into your routine and get more comfortable with the practice.
40. Intermittent Fasting
Source: Martin Berkhan / Dr. Jason Fung
Your body burns fat while in a fasting state.
There are two types of fuel powering human bodies: food, and stored energy (body fat). They canât be accessed at the same time, and our insulin levels control which one is being used.
While eating, your insulin levels go up and your body can only use energy from the food youâre consuming.
Fasting reduces your insulin levels and your body switches to using stored energy (body fat).
In other words, you either burn fat or store it. This is why no one starves for not eating during sleepâthe body has plenty of stored energy to use.
Are you feeling happy with the current state of your digestion? Do you feel uncomfortably full when you go to bed? After meals? How are your energy levels? Do you eat at the same times every day?
Dr. Jason Fung wrote an illuminating article explaining why extended periods of fasting lead to successful long-term weight loss. Have a read, and then why not observe your current eating patterns and experiment a bit?
41. The True Cost of Stuff
Source: Leo Babauta
Every object costs much more than the money you spend on it.
When you buy something, youâre spending much more than the money you pay for it.
According to Leo Babauta, who wrote an article called âThe True Cost of Stuffâ, some of these costs include:
- The physical space the object takes (more stuff requires more space = more cost);
- Damage to the environment during the production cycle (factory, transport, etc.);
- Worrying about the item (if gets broken, lost, stolen, etc.);
- Energy cost (for electrical items);
- Maintenance cost and time (a car or a house are good examples);
- Energy needed to eventually get rid of it (or even more money, in case you own a piano).
Next time you want to buy something, think of its true cost: how much will it cost you now and in the future? Is this something you really want? Is it worth its true cost?
Now itâs up to you.
You have the tools, the rest is up to you.
As Steve Jobs said: âTechnology is nothing. Whatâs important is that you have a faith in people, that theyâre basically good and smart, and if you give them tools, theyâll do wonderful things with them.â
Hereâs a question for you to begin the process:
What is the one tool which I could start using today, that would have the highest positive impact on my life?
Have a wonderful journey.
Acknowledgements
I want to take a moment to express my gratitude to the authors of mental models, principles, concepts, tools and studies on which these 41 journaling exercises are based.
Your paradigm-shifting work has helped me to face (and solve) various problems on my path, and it has enriched my life in more ways that I can possibly list here. Thank you!
It is my hope that this article will inspire people to incorporate your ideas into their journaling practices, and consequently experience profound changes in all areas of their lives.
Note: A pdf version of this article (along with many other goodies) is available via our Patreon.
[cp_popup display=âinlineâ style_id=â1910â step_id = â1â][/cp_popup]