Over the last few months I’ve been experiencing an explosion of vitality, creativity and abundance. But everything in nature moves towards balance, so while I wasn’t looking forward to the change of energy, I knew it would have to happen, sooner or later.
And one day, without any notice, it did.
For the last few days, I felt very low on spirit. I kept observing myself binge on apples, chocolate, and neo-noir cinema. My work just wasn’t flowing. I didn’t feel particularly bad but just didn’t feel like doing anything.
Today is the first day that I woke up full of energy. I took some time to clean and organise my tiny house, which became a total mess, and took my thoughts for a long walk in the forest. It was all I needed.
As I was filling my daily Infinity Square, I felt a sudden spark of insight and drew this in my journal:
This was definitely not the first time that I went through this pattern.
Here’s what happens:
- Something at work is not flowing, and I can’t let go of trying to “fix it”.
- As I keep pushing through, my house becomes a disaster.
- I can’t focus or reach clarity in a messy environment.
- Without focus and clarity, I can’t fix the problem I’m working on.
The vicious cycle continues…
One day I break free.
I can distill it into three ideas:
1) Any pattern can be reversed.
2) Reversing a pattern starts with being aware.
3) Journaling makes me aware.
This is why I journal every single day.
Even if I’m feeling extremely low, I still open a page with squares for the current Moon Cycle and fill the one that represents my current day in any way I want to. It takes ten seconds, so I feel no resistance to do it. Over 14000 days I haven’t skipped a square.
But the magic doesn’t happen in the square only.
The square is a quick self-aligning ritual, an equivalent to a short meditation. As I reconnect with myself, even if it’s for a tiny moment, I might notice something, which might prompt me to take the next step: open my journal on the first available page and go deeper.
The square is a gateway into my journal.
My journal is a gateway into myself.